Lied at school - No lunch??

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by bonkers, Mar 8, 2007.

  1. bonkers

    bonkers New Member

    difficult child gets lunched packed EVERY day (As do I) luch at school is 2.50 a day, and is smorgens board style - lots of sugar etc - he in first grade - does not make good eating choices.. So today - and I do not know how many other days difficult child lied and said he did not have a lunch.. so he could get school lunch... came home and told SO he did not eat today, SO asked if he thought it would get him sympathy if he tried to starve himself - he said YES... SO called me tells me about this, I know this boy and know there is not way in HE double L he would EVERY miss a meal... So SO quizes him on it kept saying no he did not eat... he did not tell anyone at school he did not have a lunch, until SO (VERY smart lady) finally tells him - well I hope you are telling the truth because they keep track in there computers and I am going to be calling them in a min.... BFB quicky states he did and he got a school lunch - he just wanted to try healty foods - like nuggets!!! MY Goodness!!! It just keeps getting deeper! This sounds minor I know, but it is just another thing on top of many... The last thing I need is the state showing up asking why I am starving my well-fed child!

    GARRRRRR..... What do you do with this? Friday is a no school day gradeing is taking place... I am going to take the morning off work and go to the school to talk to the principal about it and see if difficult child can work it off on his lunch time maybe cleaning the caffertia floors!! - Maybe with a tooth brush... No I wouldn't - not with a tooth brush anyway....

    I contact insurance about getting a Psch and NeroPsch lined up and have been told I need a referal from a counsolr - Regardless that the old Neruo from over a year ago recommended re-doing it after a year... Counsolors have historically only made things worse for us... again GARRRR.....

    Thanks for hearing my vent... it is just so fustrating - I just want to be able to relax, smile and laugh with my family... at least once in a while ya know???
     
  2. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style="color: #333399">okay, the lunch thing is something all brownbaggers try at least...sometimes more often. i think talking to the principal about difficult child working off his fees is a good idea tho they will probably want the actual cash. working in addition to the cash wouldn't hurt tho.

    therapists usually can't make referrals for neuropsychologist evaluations....at least i didn't think they could. how about a referral from his pediatrician? that should be acceptable. doe he see a child psychiarist? would he be willing to make the referral?

    kris
    </span>
     
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Our school has accounts set up for the kids, meal costs are deducted from the balance. The school is required to feed your child, BUT you could probably explain the situation to the principal and ask that he be given no frills: PBJ or cheese sandwich and plain milk. I imagine the missing lunches will stop when he's not rewarded with fun food. FWIW, we are now allowing Duckie to buy her lunch one day a week since she's no longer on food restrictions. We choose the day based on the menu that is sent home monthly. Maybe that could help this situation?
     
  4. bonkers

    bonkers New Member

    Does not currently see a psychiatric, we are attempting to get him to see one and a neuro psychiatric for a more through battery of tests etc.. The ins is through the state...

    I can get the attempt, it was the insistant lying.. Pet peive of mine, something I have to work hard at not getting explosive over given difficult child's CONSTANT need to lie.... I am feeling negitive and beaten down. We are currenlty on our LONGEST streach of ICK and it is wearing on me... We used to do respite, up until January, but gave up because when he came back it was worse then when we left him by a ten fold and for several days... it became not worth it... I know we need a break - gotta know it when stuff like this bothers me sooo much.... I just do not know how to get it without making the situation worse then it already is...
     
  5. bonkers

    bonkers New Member

    Tried mommy,

    Thank you for the imput, I will try that approch with the principal, but it is always a smorgens board, no menu's sent home 8-( Perhaps he can help with bland food only as you susgest...

    I think most of my fustration comes from the no-let up nature of it lately...
     
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: bonkers</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I think most of my fustration comes from the no-let up nature of it lately... </div></div>

    I understand, been there done that. Many {{{hugs}}}. I hope you catch a break soon.
     
  7. needabreak

    needabreak New Member

    i am a cafeteria manager and if a child does not have a lunch and no money we are suppose to give them penut butter and jelly and ajuice.but im not one to do that.i will give them a lunch.but i keep my eye out on kids who do it often.they usally just dont like what there parents make them.as far as working it off that would not be allowed because of insurace reasons.but i do try to give the kids something they like but also is good for them.i always have fresh fruit for them and limit the snacks they can get.
     
  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    We don't have this problem in Australian schools as a rule - kids either bring their lunch or order it from the school canteen, which requires money on the day. I do remember as a kid, desperately longing for a school lunch instead of the home-made sandwiches I was rapidly getting fed up with. Tomato sandwiches go soggy in the lunch box, or simply taste 'off' after the school bag has been sitting in hot summer sun all morning.
    To avoid lunch being inedible, I would often eat my sandwiches at morning break, which meant I was hungry by lunchtime.

    This sounds like a kid desperate for some personal control. I agree with you about nuggets not being healthy (have you seen any of Jamie Oliver's campaigns around the world? Definitely worth checking on, you might be able to start a campaign at the local school to get healthy choices).

    A suggestion - can difficult child have some say in what you pack in his lunchbox for him? That plus the opportunity to have a school lunch once a week (or less often - I do agree with your misgivings) might make it easier.

    I know you want to punish him for lying, but the ultimate aim here is to ensure he is eating healthy food most of the time, right? He will have less need to be dishonest if he has choice. I would also teach him to cook healthy food, so his choices at school can be better informed. difficult child 3 reads nutritional labels on his food, and previously favourite foods he now will reject because fat or sodium content is too high. If I give him a list of maximum recommended limits then explain that a single meal should contain no more than a third of these, he then begins to take charge.

    Schools should be more responsible. Jamie Oliver was able to prove that it can be done, within the budget, and with no more problems. But he did have to educate both the kids and the canteen staff, which was no mean feat. They screened that TV show in Australia last year and I was horrified at what British schools were feeding their kids, supposedly as a healthy lunch. In Australia our governments have been insisting on school tuckshops only providing healthy foods. Most of our schools are also nut-free zones.

    Here's hoping you can get some satisfactory solution.

    Marg
     
  9. mattsmum

    mattsmum New Member

    If it makes you feel any better, we had this same problem last year with our son. He is now in 2nd grade and does not "sneak" a cafeteria lunch anymore.

    My complaint...why do the schools give 6,7,8 year-olds the equivalent of a credit card by giving them the ability to get a lunch without paying for it first. This invites exactly what happened with your son and my son. Kids throw away their lunches, and get a school lunch.

    We told our son's school that we did not want our son to have the ability to "charge" a lunch to his account and we wanted his account to be frozen....cash only. At that time they did not have that ability and we notified them, in writing, that we would not pay for a meal for our son that we did not authorize.

    Long story short, they lost a lot of money that year because a lot of students were doing the same thing...so they have changed how they sell lunch. Now, if there is no money in your account, you get a PB & J sandwich. Also, there is a way for a parent to check their child's account online.

    As far as the buffet your school offers I am surprised that they do that. I would think there would be a health and wellness policy that dictates exactly what should be on a student's tray.
     
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