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Light bulb moment.......
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 99196" data-attributes="member: 393"><p>kt had a wonderful day yesterday until husband asked her to help him cook dinner. It had been planned all day - daddy/daughter time in the kitchen. kt had been looking forward to it. However, husband knowing kt as she does, didn't make a big deal of it.</p><p></p><p>When the time came kt blew! :surprise: One of those very ugly, somewhat typical for 13, & very obnoxious reactions to a simple request for her presence in the kitchen.</p><p></p><p>After being held "hostage" for 45 minutes - listening to her ranting/raving & how unfair life is....how it's dad's fault because he asked her in a "rude" tone of voice :slap: I yelled stop! No more!</p><p></p><p>Believe I got kt's attention because she stopped & stared at me.</p><p></p><p>"Three things Ms. ktbug"</p><p></p><p>1. You are under the misguided impression that you & daddy are peers. Daddy is the adult here! </p><p></p><p>2. You are talking (screaming) in a loud & rude voice. You can't even hear yourself.</p><p></p><p>3. You are being a bully with your words! "</p><p></p><p>Okay, this brought on more tears, yelling, drama (just take me out back & shoot me, mom" :rofl:), it's not fair that I was abused (snore :sleeping: heard it before), yada, yada, yada, I don't want to live here - I want a family who loves me.</p><p></p><p>Is anyone seeing a pattern here? Typical teen drama, combined with using her past & mental/emotional disorders as an excuse? </p><p></p><p>Another 45 minutes of this nonsense & I yelled "stop" again. </p><p></p><p>"Ms ktbug", feel free to pick up your cell phone & call mental health CM & let him know that you don't want to live here. Call 911 if you feel you are being abused! </p><p></p><p>However, it won't matter where you live....these reactions & problems will follow you until you start taking what you are learning in therapy & in day treatment & making them a part of you! There is a place inside of you just waiting for those newly learned ideas & skills - it's empty right now, just waiting to be filled, wanting to be filled with all these new skills." :thanksgiving2: </p><p></p><p>If any of you have heard me speak of late, you would know this was a huge effort for me & took a long time. It was a wonder that kt sat & listened. </p><p></p><p>And she heard.....she looked at me & said "really mom?". "Really sweetheart. Waiting - we're all waiting for the real ktbug to make herself known".</p><p></p><p>The rest of the evening was uneventful - kt & husband made a very late dinner (big pot of chili for this cold day). Tasted wonderful. husband & kt spent the rest of the evening working on something on her computer; kt also worked on a gift list for the family & asked for help with how she could earn extra allowance money so she do it. </p><p></p><p>It may last just a day & I'll take it.</p><p></p><p>Gotta love those light bulb moments. Take them as you get them. Record them in a journal someplace, just in case you forget that our difficult children can & do understand. :flower:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 99196, member: 393"] kt had a wonderful day yesterday until husband asked her to help him cook dinner. It had been planned all day - daddy/daughter time in the kitchen. kt had been looking forward to it. However, husband knowing kt as she does, didn't make a big deal of it. When the time came kt blew! [img]:surprise:[/img] One of those very ugly, somewhat typical for 13, & very obnoxious reactions to a simple request for her presence in the kitchen. After being held "hostage" for 45 minutes - listening to her ranting/raving & how unfair life is....how it's dad's fault because he asked her in a "rude" tone of voice [img]:slap:[/img] I yelled stop! No more! Believe I got kt's attention because she stopped & stared at me. "Three things Ms. ktbug" 1. You are under the misguided impression that you & daddy are peers. Daddy is the adult here! 2. You are talking (screaming) in a loud & rude voice. You can't even hear yourself. 3. You are being a bully with your words! " Okay, this brought on more tears, yelling, drama (just take me out back & shoot me, mom" [img]:rofl:[/img]), it's not fair that I was abused (snore [img]:sleeping:[/img] heard it before), yada, yada, yada, I don't want to live here - I want a family who loves me. Is anyone seeing a pattern here? Typical teen drama, combined with using her past & mental/emotional disorders as an excuse? Another 45 minutes of this nonsense & I yelled "stop" again. "Ms ktbug", feel free to pick up your cell phone & call mental health CM & let him know that you don't want to live here. Call 911 if you feel you are being abused! However, it won't matter where you live....these reactions & problems will follow you until you start taking what you are learning in therapy & in day treatment & making them a part of you! There is a place inside of you just waiting for those newly learned ideas & skills - it's empty right now, just waiting to be filled, wanting to be filled with all these new skills." [img]:thanksgiving2:[/img] If any of you have heard me speak of late, you would know this was a huge effort for me & took a long time. It was a wonder that kt sat & listened. And she heard.....she looked at me & said "really mom?". "Really sweetheart. Waiting - we're all waiting for the real ktbug to make herself known". The rest of the evening was uneventful - kt & husband made a very late dinner (big pot of chili for this cold day). Tasted wonderful. husband & kt spent the rest of the evening working on something on her computer; kt also worked on a gift list for the family & asked for help with how she could earn extra allowance money so she do it. It may last just a day & I'll take it. Gotta love those light bulb moments. Take them as you get them. Record them in a journal someplace, just in case you forget that our difficult children can & do understand. [img]:flower:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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