Like or dislike the holidays and why?

[BusynMember]

I kind of like them. I can't say I love them. But we do get to see Julie and her SO and my grandkitties, although Tom, my husband, can't come because he is babysitting the dogs...lol. We don't like to put them in boarding kennels or lock them in cages at motel's that are pet friendly. So we leave a few days before or after the holiday, minus Tom, to see Julie and her SO. We have a lot of fun too...often it is girl time because Sonic often likes to stay home when we go shopping...lolol. I see my dad sometimes. Since he is 89 it's hard for him to drive out to see us...we meet halfway if we have time. Yes, my father still has a driver's license!!!

Christmas is the same. Early or later with Julie and SO and grandkitties.

On the actual day, we have a cozy little foursome....Tom, me, Jumper and Sonic. Damian and Chloe, the doggies, join us too, of course. Food is always good. Football always rules on Thanksgiving.

I usually end up with a warm, cozy feeling, but not overwhelming happiness. Since our family is so small, we aren't really seeing people we don't see that often. It's not a huge party or celebration. There is no extended family. Our few close friends have family of their own so we don't get together.

Since we have small gatherings, there is really not much stress. At the same time, there is media pressure to be getting together with Auntie and Uncle and Cousin and Brother and Sister and that just doesn't happen here. My mother had very little family and the few of us are not in touch. My mother kept us from knowing our huge extended family on dad's side and he pretty much let her do so. Since they are all Jewish, some very Orthodox, I would not feel comfortable with them at this late date. In fact, since I have not been Jewish all of my adult years, I never did feel comfortable with them. They are nice, but very into their culture and religion and they know I did not raise my children to be Jewish.

(Crossing fingers) If all goes well with Julie, we will have a new family member, minature sized to share the holidays with next year!!!! We never see 36 and his son on the holidays as we can't afford to go there and he won't drive up to Chicago to join us.

Well, that's my story. You're right. I don't have that much to do on this dark and quiet Saturday So I thought I'd post a thread and see if it had any legs and if people wanted to share.

 

[Castle Queen]

It's dark here today too. Been like twilight all day long.

Can I be half and half? I love Christmas; dislike Thanksgiving. My extended family is thousands of miles away, and I can't afford to visit during both holidays, so choose Christmas since the kids have more time off from school then for an extended visit. I love getting together with my fam; it's the only time I feel safe, secure and completely loved. Cooking and baking is a joy and not a chore because of the camaraderie and visiting and we have a lot of traditions! Thanksgiving for us is kind of meh, DF has no family close by either and we only get his son every other year (and it was that way with my kids too, until their dad died) Nobody likes the traditional foods except myself and DF; I spend all day cooking for a 10 minute meal. DF spends the day watching football; I'd like to but the kids are bored all day & won't let me watch. I think I'd actually really enjoy volunteering to serve meals somewhere on thanksgiving; my social anxiety prevents me from this so far. Hopefully the Zoloft I've recently started taking will help with-that.

 

[scent of cedar]

I love the holidays. I love the anticipation of preparing for them, love the way everything smells, love the feel of excitement in the air, love the music! Having said that...we don't exchange presents. When we did, the whole present thing made everything else seem less important.

We do very few Christmas cards.

Grandchildren are far away, and everyone receives money. We don't shop for each other, either.

We decorate like crazy for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. The day Halloween decorations are put away, I display Thanksgiving stuff. Traditionally, we decorate for Christmas the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

This year, Hannuka coincides with our Thanksgiving. One of our guests will bring a menorah. I am excited about that.

:O)

Though we have had some of the worst things happen with the kids over the holidays, and even though some of my saddest times have been worrying about whoever was missing during the holidays, I am always disappointed when they are over.

This helps me: After everyone has gone to bed after whatever holiday it is, I make myself coffee and drink it from a beautiful, bone china cup that belonged to my grandmother. However awful the holiday has been, however horribly it turned out (and boy, there have been some doozies at my house!) I know that at the end of it, I will treat myself to that cup of coffee. I wonder, as I drink it, what these times might have been like for my grandmother, for her mother.

This ritual always soothes me, always leaves me feeling so fortunate, so grateful for what I do have.

I mean, for whatever's left.

Ahem.

Does anyone remember that song about how, when the family fights at Christmas, they all run outside "whooping" so the neighbors will hear?

That was my family they were writing about, guys!

Oy.

Cedar

 

[scent of cedar]

Here you go.

Enjoy!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMm7-ULoBgk

 

[AnnieO]

Christmas is my absolute favorite holiday - like my Grandma and Mom before me. I love seeing the looks on others' faces as they open the perfect gift, not usually expensive or big. My biggest challenge is finding an angel each year for my Mom... She used to get one every year for my Grandma, and I've carried on the tradition. Handmade, ceramic, resin, windchimes... A story.

It's the magic that I love. The feeling that anything is possible, everything is possible. Waking very early and sitting by the tree with a cup of coffee... Slowly opening gifts, stopping in the middle for breakfast. The night before, watching my kids light luminaria with my parents. (Weird looks in Ohio, but ya-ta-hey.) Falling asleep under the tree after everything is open and we're all wiped out.

Thanksgiving is truly a day of thanks and I HATE spending it without my parents. This has only happened a couple of times and it just wasn't right to me. Christmas without them only once in 40 (almost 41) Christmases and it sucked, too.

 

[recoveringenabler]

That was a funny song Cedar! Yikes.

I love the holidays too! I love the feeling of family, fun, food, festivities...........all of it. I love the music, the celebratory sense of gathering together for the purpose of sharing food, gifts, laughter.........I still get that anticipatory feeling, that sense of expectancy and awe as something magical evolves..........

I love Christmas Eve the most.........the lights on the tree, the smell of evergreen, cookies baking, all kinds of food around, the beautifully wrapped gifts, my granddaughter milling about, my SO, it just feels like we're in a bubble of warmth.

This year for Thanksgiving my granddaughter's older sister and her husband, along with a very close friend and her mother are joining us. I invited my difficult child, I haven't heard from her so I am not sure she is coming. I'm making the turkey and stuffing, and everyone is bringing a dish........I make it easy on myself and everyone loves bringing their specialties. I really like Thanksgiving a lot, not as much as Christmas, but it's a good holiday, good memories.

I start baking cookies a couple of weeks before Christmas.......we cut down a tree........my granddaughter decorates it........I make baked goodies for neighbors and friends........I love thinking about gifts that I know will bring a giant smile to a loved one's face...........I love breakfast on Christmas morning while we're all in our PJ's.

There is a bit of a letdown I guess, but I can't recall giving that a lot of thought...............I love this time of year..........it feels good...........love is in the air...........

 

[KTMom91]

I like the holidays. Thanksgiving has always been a day of planning our shopping strategy for me and Miss KT, since she was 5 years old. I quit working retail, but couldn't stay out of the stores on Black Friday...I love the energy. This is the first year she hasn't been home to shop with me, and Hubby is balking at going out to watch people and drink a peppermint mocha...gotta love tradition!

Thanksgiving weekend we decorate for Christmas, with inflatables on the roof and the tree front and center. Christmas Eve we go to Hubby's family, Christmas Day with mine.

 

[Hound dog]

My mother was odd about holidays. Well, in all fairness, she was odd about a lot of things......but holidays were one of the major ones. ALL of the holidays, not just this time of year.

Thanksgiving was ok I suppose. The extended family usually got together, a rather large extended family.......7 adult children and spouses, 17 grandchildren, grandma (although she never hosted) for a big meal and some visiting. But mom found a way to ruin it for us. We'd have to sit in a designated spot lined up in a row, quiet as mice unless we were eating. God help the child that spoke, fidgeted, asked to play with cousins or in some other way broke the rules. The only time I enjoyed Thanksgiving was at my aunt Janet's house......and that is because she confronted mom over her rule in front of the rest of the family and flat out told her it didn't stand in her house.

I don't mind the holiday but honestly I can take or leave it. I did try to make it a big deal and enjoyable for my kids.....as did mother in law.....and I still do for kids and grandkids.

Christmas is another matter all together. Maybe it is because it was the only holiday mom showed any interest in other than negative, I dunno. I do know it was the only time of the year I was filled with hope. Hope for what? I'm not really sure exactly. But whatever it was, I never gave up on that hope.

Mom decorated, not much by many people's standards, but for her it was extravagant not only due to the decor but because it required time and effort. Mom also baked. The woman can't cook worth a darn, but she certainly can bake. Baking was her xmas "thing", the only part of it she really got into other than the Bible movies. Mom did let me watch the holiday cartoon specials........all of them......no matter what else was on tv......no matter what time it was......if it was xmas related, I could watch it. I lived for them. Santa wasn't an icon in our home......except to me. In that legendary person was the hope. I couldn't get enough. Sadly year after year.....I was heart broken xmas morning because Mom wasn't big on presents. If we were lucky there might be something or maybe 2 presents for each of us under the tree.....2nd hand toys she snatched up not caring about their condition or socks/underwear. There was the one year my dad got fed up and bought us xmas......which ticked mom off so she made it into a competition........and we were flooded in nice presents, real presents. It is the only xmas I truly vividly recall. I was thrilled to my bones, Santa had come through in spades.

Now it seemed to make me a bit nuts when it comes to xmas. I don't just like the holiday........I throw myself into it. From thanksgiving until xmas was the "season" in our home....full of fun things to do, xmas movies, baking.......house decked out. I didn't spoil the kids.....or flood them with gifts.....instead I listened to them sometimes for months prior to find out exactly what they really wanted, not the latest toy fad on tv. The limit was 5 gifts, one of which was from Santa....and usually something special. I wore xmas themed sweat shirts the entire month. I hummed carols. LOL

Along the way........developed the story that I am an elf, now retired. There is a long back story developed over years packed full of Santa facts. This was backed up by the fact that somehow......that special something, even if they'd kept it to themselves, that they were wishing for often found it's way under the tree. Santa wrote to them. Santa even called them one year. When Nichole was a baby........they met the "real" Santa face to face, he even knew their names. I can answer a child's questions concerning Santa without blinking. Rolls right off my tongue. This has now become a contest between a coworker and myself. She'll toss out a random typical child question and I answer automatically. Blows her away every time, so much so she gets caught up in the conversation and forgets we're talking about a legend. lol My children were convinced beyond a doubt their mother was an elf. My grandchildren are convinced their grandmother is a retired elf. I swear there are still xmas mornings when my kids give me that "I wonder" look because of something I've given one of the grandkids. lol

Decorating is work. I have to have a spotless house to decorate or it ruins the holiday. (thanks mom geez) But it's work I love. There is nothing like a house decorated to the hilt for xmas. The meal is planned with care so that everyone's favorites are included. It's just not xmas without the baking. Carols blast through speakers. I'm still glued to the xmas cartoons and movies. It's just not xmas without Rudolf and It's a Wonderful Life..... I'm using making several gifts.......as well as searching for special ones. I even helped Katie find Kayla's most wanted gift this year......a pair of Converse shoes......new, in our thrift store, at a price she could manage when she had made up her mind the child would have to be disappointed.

It's crazy here xmas day. The dogs open their gifts before guests arrive. There is the food to prep. I've got to get into my xmas attire......that sweatshirt is now a fancy sweater. (I know people think they're gaudy but to me they're beautiful) If I didn't wear it everyone would think something is wrong with me. The crowd arrives with kids in tow.....loud, excited........and our wonderful holiday begins.

This year my kids decided not to buy for adults except Travis because he doesn't have children yet. Uh.....ok. That's not gonna happen. lmao

But there is more to it. There are others I help during the holidays especially. If I can bring one child the hope I had when I was a child.......

Xmas is MY day. I look forward to it all year. I plan for it all year. I'm working on it all year. It is always on my mind.

It is the one day I will not compromise. Thanksgiving can be done any day, same for any other holiday and often is to accommodate in laws schedules and plans. Christmas is the one day I refuse to do so.

 

[Tiapet]

In the years growing up I'd have to say I loved Thanksgiving, didn't really like Christmas at all. Thanksgiving because it meant that family would get together (close and extended, which could mean aunts and uncles too from out of town plus grandparents, always grandparents on maternal side). The lead up and preparing was so much fun as a child. Getting the food ready, some days before and helping Grandma. Then having the extended family coming in but just the fact that everyone was there. It was a big to do and the table was huge, set with the best china, silver, linens, and crystal. Even us kids got to us it. Lots of different pies. Christmas I didn't care so much for because it was never a big to do and I just didn't get into it. I'm not one for "present" to begin with even as a child but it just didn't matter. I only cared about the time off school and wished for snow to happen, which sometimes it did but in small amounts. As an adult, I still cared a little about Thanksgiving as in the earlier years my own family got together with my parents and sister but it was really short lived (maybe the first 4-6 years). Then my exh got on the outs with either my sister or my mother and things got real rocky so it became iffy. Christmas was always rough because of the difficult children behavior. Of course as they were little it was nice because they didn't realize we didn't have much so didn't understand they didn't get much too but behaviors also came into play once they started turning 3 (respectively with each of them) and then it was all bets off. I recall that I did "try" to get back into the Christmas spirit very much once exh and I were split because the whole atmosphere was different, other then difficult child's behaviors (that would be about at the 13 year mark of marriage had we stayed together). Family was ok of course because he was no longer around. It was a bit better and difficult child's were slightly better in general too. "I" could feel happy about feeling in the spirit and actually went all out in decorating the whole house that year. First time ever other then just the tree. Now, as of about 3 years ago, Thanksgiving is not much of a big deal because we're a small family and we're away from extended family distance-wise (of course this year it won't matter at all as you know because I "no longer have" family by choice). It is also because no one really cares about the meal in itself. My oldest daughter LOVES the tradition of the big family meal and sitting down, the preparing as I had instilled that in her but she also knows that it's a big fuss for nothing as no one really eats it here now. We even pared it down to the barest minimum and it still didn't work. 1 year I even ordered it from a store (would NEVER do that again!). This year we have totally alternative plans and I think it actually might turn out to be the best one yet for us all. As for Christmas, they have all been very much better in the last 4-5 years! We decorate the house (except last year where we only did the tree last minute). The kids had good Christmas and mostly good behaviors. Of course it goes so darn quick, over in a second. We do the gifts, the stockings and then breakfast is prepared. Kids go off and occupy themselves with what ever floats their fancy of their gifts and then usually we watch movies or something on TV for the day and have dinner later in the day. Much, Much more calm and different then in years past. It's also very strange to me because I'm from up North and Christmas time in the south doesn't quite feel the same since moving down here 7 years ago. The air isn't cool usually, it's warm. You do still have all the lights and the same atmosphere with people but it just doesn't "feel" like it to me. Perhaps because I'm Older and had a lifetime of being north during this time of year? I don't know. I hope in the future, God willing, when my kids go on and have families of their own and "if" I am still alive or they do have families of their own (2 are saying NO to kids), then we can have new family traditions and combine them with some of the old and it will feel better, newer, and MINE now? I hope so but it's just a dream for me and though I know the reality is really, really slim that it will happen, I do like to envision it sometimes. Oh, I had to mention that 1 year me and my family (mother, father, sister) lived in FL briefly (a year and a half) and my mother being homesick for up north and it being Christmas.......my father went out on the roof (it was a very small apartment single level duplex, like most in FL) and poured a box of Ivory Soap flakes off of it so when we told her to look out the patio window she saw "snow" for Christmas that year. Close enough to at least let her smile for the moment.

 

[DammitJanet]

I only really like Easter and Halloween and those are beginning to get old to me now.

I barely come out of my room for Thanksgiving and Xmas. I always come out to watch the kids open presents but then its back to my room. Tony and I made a pact years ago that we wouldnt get each other anything for Xmas because we were so poor. Now I get him a few things like shirts and pants he can use for work. Once in a while something he really wants. He has only bought me a few things over the years. That has only happened since Billy grew up and was able to tell him how to buy something I wanted. Most times they go in together on something.

I know not to expect anything from the other two. Jamie tends to get his father something but never me.

I do go all out and try to get things that the grandchildren will like but this year Im only excited about Monkey. Well when am I not excited about her? LOL. I hate the fact that last year I bought some really nice things for Mouse and Mandy sold it all when she went to TX for a week. That really ticked me off. She could have just brought her toys to my house to hold on to. This year Im not getting her much at all that will leave my house. Monkey's stuff normally stays at my house and this year she really only wants two major gifts. One of which is a bunk bed. She fell in love with it one day when she went with me to pay my fridge bill. I have to clean out her room so I can get her stuff in there. I am wanting Tony to make hutch type thing for her to put her more fragile things on so Mouse cant get to them. Mouse is so destructive. I got Monkey an entire set of children's Blue Willow dishes and tea set that matches the dishes that I got from my mom. Monkey wont understand the significance until she is older.

Tony and I dont even know what we are doing Thanksgiving day. We might just make a baking hen instead of a turkey. We arent planning on inviting Cory and I know Mandy will plan on spending it with her family. I dont know that she will invite Cory or not. He may just have to spend it alone. Maybe that will make him think. Or not, at the moment I dont much care. I am planning on taking Billy and Tony out to Walmart for Black Friday when they open at 6 pm on Thanksgiving day. They are having a 32 inch TV on sale that I want for Monkey's room since Cory managed to "lose" the one Billy gave her. They are also having the Furby Boom on an incredible sale. They also have some other nice things I want. Hope I can get them all. I plan to have Monkey's bed set up so she will have it to sleep in over Xmas. I have to say she picked out a really cute bed. It stays a bunk bed on the top but the bottom looks like a table with two cushioned seats on each side. If anyone sleeps over you can move the table down to make it a bed and the cushions flatten out to be the mattress.

 

[BusynMember]

To Janet (and everyone else): Don't feel bad about the gifts. The only one who is getting a big present from us is grandson. In fact, he will probably get a few, including necessities like new clothes (he is a big boy...at age five he is in a seven and he keeps growing). 36 is broke this year because of the now completed custody battle (he kept 50% custody). We won't see 36 or Grandson on the holidays though unless 36 drives to Chicago, which is the halfway point for both of us. He never has before, no reason to expect it now. He is afraid to drive long distances (shrug). difficult children!!!!!!!

The rest of us decided that this year we will either give home made gifts or heart felt ones, but not spend a lot of money. If I like anything about Thanksgiving and Christmas it is the family feeling and love, not the gifts.

Black Friday is another good topic!!! We only went out on Black Friday once, by the way!! But we are traveling to Chicago on boyfriend this year so we may stop off in Janesville for a while and then go to a few stores around our motel once we get into Illinois. This is the only time Jumper (and Sonic when he comes with) ever see big malls. There are no two-story malls anywhere near our neck of the woods. Nada

 

[1905]

I used to dread all the cooking and cleaning. Also, trying to make everything nice for everyone made the holidays not an enjoyable time. Now, I am very excited. My 2 easy child's are away at school so husband and I are home alone here. When they come home, it's fun. My easy child has had a girlfriend for 4 years who is Chinese and never celebrates holidays unless with us. She just LOVES the whole joyful, relaxing family thing going on here. It's always fun to see someone so happy. difficult child has a family! He'll be here with his wife and baby. The wife is a doll, she is such a hard working, kind woman- I love her. I love seeing my kids together and enjoying each other. It's THAT feeling that equals the holidays for me.

As for gifts, there won't be a ton. We pay for both easy child's college, they have loans but we pay the rest. That is their birthday and Christmas presents and they're happy to have it. Last month they both got free upgraded phones for their birthdays. Considering they had flip phones, they were grateful for that, even knowing they were free. Both my boys work at school. They also don't care about "stuff". difficult child and his wife are going on a honeymoon for 9 days that we bought them, and we'll be watching the baby (sharing that with her parents). Her parents paid for the wedding so we got the honeymoon. We're not doing many gifts this year. The kids do buy us something small and each other as well. As long as everyone is healthy, we're perfect.

But I did get the girls something from Victorias Secret, on sale, plus coupons, and a free $10 gift card with $10 purchase. Everyone likes some pretty things, I spent $40 (worth way more) and have $40 worth of gifts cards to use later....making everything
I bought so far free.

I bought the baby some toys from Little Tykes. It was buy 1 get 2 free for the price. So I have 3 of these great toys shipped for the price of just 1. Then I saw this other car at Kohls, $99...then with codes down to $23, so I couldn't resist. I'm done shopping.

I always check on Hip2save website, the woman posts these great deals, and another website Bradsdeals. Check them out. You won't have to search stores or circulars, just check those sites.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

I love the holdiays, from Halloween to the New Year is my favorite time of the year. As I have grown as a mother and a woman, I realize the key to the holidays is not to expect things to be like a commercial or a Norman Rockwell painting. I take it as it comes, enjoy the music, the chilly weather, the fire, the traditional foods, the visits with family and friends, and the beauty of the decorations. I try not to have any preconceived expectations that won't be lived up to. I try to find the joy in the small moments.

Taking it as it comes, not how I think it should be has made the holidays much more relaxing and peaceful. Love this time of the year!

Sharon

 

[BusynMember]

Thanks for the websites on deals for gifts.

I so love hearing people talk about their holidays!!!

 

[DDD]

This is the first time since 1960 that I am not hosting Thanksgiving nor am I decorating etc. for Christmas. husband and I are, however, traveling to easy child son's for Thanksgiving. We have never been invited to his home before AND daughter in law still after 25 years doesn't "cook". LOL! I told her Publix and other big grocery stores will cook it, bag it and all you have to do is put it on the table. She is not INTO family activity (understatement!) but their college age daughter has alot of genes from my family.......she is the one who asked if we could drive to their house and "she" would cook. I doubt it but think it's cute. I feel sad that I won't have all the anticipation and excitement and wonderful aromas in my house for either holiday. I grew up with holiday happiness. I provided holiday happiness. The "children" cherish the memories of their happy holidays (without alot of presents of value by the way) but evidently they don't want to replicate the holidays of their childhood and my childhood. Too much work, I guess. I'm sure I'll have moments of being sad but 71 years of Happy holidays is more than my fair share. DDD

 

[witzend]

i dislike everyone asking us what we are planning to do for the holidays. Other than that it's pretty much the same as any other day.

 

[Nomad]

Generally, I like them! Often, esp lately, great fun!

It was much harder for me and most everyone in the family when difficult child was living at home as she ALWAYS had bad depression, especially on Christmas Day, and did not exactly try hard to feel better....although that might be a little unfair. We had a good 18 years of difficult Xmas days.

These days, we visit with our son and his family in another city for Christmas and all major holidays. My husband is adamant that difficult child can not join us if she has caused any major drama trauma anywhere near the holiday...so she rarely joins us....as holidays seem to be a weird time for her.

so, I try to have a little mini dinner or lunch with her (she is appreciative) before we go out of town and we give her a gift and enjoy the time together. This, perhaps, is more her speed. I don't know. I DO miss her, but I also greatly enjoy the peace and happiness that comes with normalcy, respectful, calm and polite folks....all that stuff we didn't see for nearly two decades.

 

[Californiablonde]

I like the holidays in general, and this year it's especially nice since I am finally out of that five year long depression I was in. I am back to decorating for every holiday again. I bought some cute halloween stuff for the apartment, and exactly a day after halloween was over I bought some thanksgiving decorations and put them up. I am looking forward to getting more Christmas stuff. My favorite is the lights. This year, since our apartment has a balcony, I would like to decorate it with lights, as well as our tree. I am going to shop for decorations at the 99 cents store by our house like I usually do. I hope they have cute Christmas stuff.

Holidays are fairly easy for me, since we have always lived in small apartments so we have never held a holiday at my place. We usually go to my mom's for Thanksgiving and Christmas Day. Christmas Eve is a quiet night spent at home with the kids, and I allow them to open one gift. For the past five years or so my mom has been holding an annual holiday party at her house. She usually has it about two weeks before Christmas. Everybody invited brings their favorite appetizer, and we usually do a white elephant gift exchange. This year my mom decided to draw names for gifts instead. On Thanksgiving day we will draw names and then bring a gift for the person we picked to her house for the Christmas party.

I am looking forward to the party this year, which will be held on December 14th. My mom also bought myself and her some tickets to a holiday church luncheon being held at the Hilton hotel on December 7th. I am looking forward to that as well. Of course since I work at a school I get the added perk of having a whole two week Christmas vacation, and I am definitely going to enjoy my time off. I like the holidays and I'm always a little bit sad when they are over, except for the added stress of spending extra money on gifts. That part I am glad only comes once a year. Everything else about the holidays I really enjoy.