Literal thinking or word games?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TeDo, Jan 1, 2012.

  1. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    difficult child 1 got home from his Boy Scout trip around 1:30 this afternoon. At around 2:30, he tells me he's hungry because they didn't have anything to eat since breakfast at 8. So, being a nice mom that's happy to have her kid back, I offer to make him something to eat. He asks for Chicken Noodle soup so I make chicken noodle soup. I go to let him know it's done and he's sound asleep. I leave the soup on the cupboard because I know he'll still be hungry when he wakes up so he can just heat it in the microwave.

    He woke up around 4:30 and ate his soup........cold. I made stuffed green peppers for supper at 6. At 5:30, he asked if I could put his in the fridge because his stomach hurt (he shared a room with a kid who puked the entire last 18 hours they were there). difficult child 2 and I ate and I put the leftovers (2 of them) in the fridge. Around 8, difficult child 1 started getting "irritable" so I told him to take his stuff upstairs and head to bed. He did but then said he was hungry. I reminded him that his supper was in the fridge. He wanted me to make him "something else". I said no, I've already cooked for you twice today and if you want something else, you can make it yourself. He said "You have to feed me! It's the law." I said I cooked for him twice and it was his choice not to eat what I made. He said "You did not cook for ME twice you cooked once for me and once for all of us". I simply said I wasn't going to play word games, he is included IN "all of us", and if he wants something else, he'll have to make it himself.

    Does anyone else with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids have this kind of an issue or is difficult child 1 just playing word games (typical teen stuff)?
     
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Not Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kid, but not exactly typical teen either...

    Given a combo of...
    1) tired
    2) out-of-schedule
    3) running on overload mode...

    Ya, mine would be about like that too.
    Nothing that 2 or 3 good days of "normal" won't cure... but its tough to survive those 2-3 days!
     
  3. Methuselah

    Methuselah New Member

    I do not have a child with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), but I have encountered this many times. Each time I reply: I am not running a restaurant. If you don't want to eat what I made for dinner, you can wait to eat at breakfast.* Also, when asked what we are having for dinner, I reply: food--the stuff you chew and swallow. Heh.

    * unless it is my soon-to-be 17 year old diabetic difficult child 1 who will give herself insulin then refuse to eat. In that case, I tell her: when you pass out and/or die, I will dial 911 with one hand and shave your head with the other. Sadly, that works really well. :-/
     
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I tried that ONCE - and ended up triggering a medications vs. blood-sugar issue that we're still paying for 6 months later. difficult child simply MUST eat, "real" stuff, no more than 4 hours apart except when sleeping. Whether he or I like it or not. So... given that the rest of us are on a 6-hour schedule (6 a.m., noon, 6 p.m.), I have to do the extra prep. No, I can't get him to... past issues with stealing, and current issues with portion size... Its life.

    Not sure what your difficult child would normally eat, TeDo, but... in our house? there would be ONE person eating stuffed peppers... husband. <LOL>

    Re-read your post... I'm leaning toward him being too tired, and blood-sugar way out of whack... to the point that he isn't reading his own body well. What he probably needed for supper was more chicken-noodle-soup (maybe with more substance added...)
     
  5. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Funny you should say that. I have figured out it is 2-3 days of "irritable" after something like this (away from ME: doesn't happen when WE go camping or somewhere) until he is back to normal. I am glad I am not the only one to have (and notice) the pattern.
     
  6. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    The sad part is, this is "typical" everyday word play. It was only worse because I know he was way too tired. I usually take the literal interpretation into account. This time, I guess maybe I was just a little tired myself (dark, cold, windy, dreary day). It took everything I had NOT to get into an argument about it. I just layed down the law and left it at that. It just got me thinking about the WHY of this type of thing, especially since the whole Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) thing is still fairly new to me and I am still learning.
     
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    My son gets very literal. Everything in his world is very black and white. At times it can be exasperating because you know what you meant when you said something, but to difficult child you said something completely different.

    Did he wind up making something for himself?
     
  8. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Bunny, nope...he went to bed.
     
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    LOL...some Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids are VERY literal. If I tell my son we are going somewhere at 6:00 and call him down at 5:59, he'll say "It's 5:59! You said 6!" It is common with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). I don't know if all Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids are that literal, but many are It's part of the spectrum...concrete thinking. :) It's kind of funny, in my opinion.
     
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    MWM - we've had to change how we phrase things... for example, we no longer say "we're leaving at 6:00"... we say "we will be out the door before 6:00". Subtle - but its helping.
     
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    BOTH of my non Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) nephews do this constantly. Pick on every little detail and word. Q pulls the other thing difficult child 1 said, tells me it is my job to cook for him and take care of him. I remind him like you do... I made you dinner, or put the supplies out for those things that he is supposed to make for himself. I let him know it is my job to TEACH him how to get food for himself at his age (my baby will be 15 on Thursday!). I still take huge risks with him if I even let him pour milk in his own cereal but I do it. He then tries the... but it tastes better when you do it argument. Can be funny at times and exhausting at others.
     
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Insane, heh. My son is eighteen now. I don't play games anymore. I can just not dispute that it's 5:59 and say, "Well, we have to go now" and he'll do it. It's just that he HAS to bring it up, and he's so serious!

    His literal thinking actually caused a misdiagnosis once. His psychiatrist asked him if he hears voices. He said he does so his psychiatrist diagnosed with bipolar and stuck him on bipolar medications including antipsychotics. He always insisted he hears voices when asked so the diagnosis stood, even when hub and I were quite sure something about it was not right and we finally took him to a neuropsychologist and dumped the medications.

    Much later, when it was clear he isn't bipolar, I asked him why in the world he told the doctor he hears voices. He answered, with a serious face, "I do hear voices. You just talked to me and I heard you." Grrrrrrrrrrr!
     
  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    What crazy :censored2: would not explain what they meant when they said this.... are they that arrogant that they think a kid would know they meant voices that are in their heads or on radios that other people dont hear? that is so complex I would not even know how to explain it.... I see why you are still so mad, I would have a hard time getting over that. Did you do anything about this person? That kind of treatment is dangerous, right?
     
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    He did buddy. He asked if he heard voices in his head and Sonic said he did. And he told us "I do hear voices in my head. I just heard yours."
     
  15. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Yeah, that's what I mean... ANY kid would say yes they hear voices in their head. There obviously had to be a way to help him understand the difference between voices that only he can hear and not other people .... I can't even think of how to say that but I always actually wondered that when I have heard that question asked. Seems like it would be an obvious thing they would know better to make sure about. How lazy
     
  16. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I'm guessing that MWM's mis-diagnosis issue... was quite a few years back.
    And if its anything like for us - the knowledge base just wasn't out there on so many of the issues we deal with.
    If you were lucky, where was "some" research to go on, but only if the psychiatrists and tdocs and schools knew about it, and often they didn't.
    If you were really unlucky - and MWM's son would be one of those - you got a psychiatrist who had picked up on ONE of these "newer" issues... but not the full spectrum of possible issues, and so tended to "see" whatever diagnosis it was that they were interested in...

    With more clinically-supported methods, approaches, etc., and with more wide-spread knowledge, these things happen less often now... but they still happen. (admitted to by some favorite tdocs...)
     
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