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Living a nightmare
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 604539" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there and so sorry you have to be here. I agree 100% with Recovering and you need to stop feeling guilty and take care of yourselves...cut off the money supply and the rescue attempts. They will only make her worse. Or, at the very least, they will not help and she will probably end up blaming you for helping.</p><p></p><p>I disagree with you that her mental illness is more serious than the drug abuse, and I *have* mental illness (see my signature). I have had it all my life and first remember it at age six. It is your daughter's substance abuse, alcohol included, which is making her resistant to treatment and that is the most serious issue. She can't respond to prescribed medication for her disorder or work hard in therapy (and it IS hard work) if she is strung out. The illegal drugs will neutralize the medications that are specific for her disorder and render them useless. </p><p></p><p>The only dime I'd spend on her is for a dual diagnostic facility so that she can be treated for both of her problems. And, she will not improve unless she wants to. You can only control one person in the world...yourself. You can make a happy life for yourself in spite of your self-destructive child. It's not easy, but it's very superior to living through their horrors while being unable to help them because they have to walk their recovery on their own. You can support them, but you can't make them eager to get clean. Your daughter does not sound like she is in a good place, but don't let her drag her down with you. She is an adult making horrible choices. </p><p></p><p>This is hard for us. We parents still remember the cute little baby we held in our arms and are devestated that that baby turned out this way. But we have to learn to let go or we will go down with them and there are others who care about us and whom we care about who need us to be healthy in body and mind. We can't ignore everyone else, or our own self, for the destructive child.I recommend going to Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, even if you are not religious. The support and lessons there are invaluable, not to mention hearing others who are in the same boat as you are and can give real life support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 604539, member: 1550"] Hi there and so sorry you have to be here. I agree 100% with Recovering and you need to stop feeling guilty and take care of yourselves...cut off the money supply and the rescue attempts. They will only make her worse. Or, at the very least, they will not help and she will probably end up blaming you for helping. I disagree with you that her mental illness is more serious than the drug abuse, and I *have* mental illness (see my signature). I have had it all my life and first remember it at age six. It is your daughter's substance abuse, alcohol included, which is making her resistant to treatment and that is the most serious issue. She can't respond to prescribed medication for her disorder or work hard in therapy (and it IS hard work) if she is strung out. The illegal drugs will neutralize the medications that are specific for her disorder and render them useless. The only dime I'd spend on her is for a dual diagnostic facility so that she can be treated for both of her problems. And, she will not improve unless she wants to. You can only control one person in the world...yourself. You can make a happy life for yourself in spite of your self-destructive child. It's not easy, but it's very superior to living through their horrors while being unable to help them because they have to walk their recovery on their own. You can support them, but you can't make them eager to get clean. Your daughter does not sound like she is in a good place, but don't let her drag her down with you. She is an adult making horrible choices. This is hard for us. We parents still remember the cute little baby we held in our arms and are devestated that that baby turned out this way. But we have to learn to let go or we will go down with them and there are others who care about us and whom we care about who need us to be healthy in body and mind. We can't ignore everyone else, or our own self, for the destructive child.I recommend going to Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, even if you are not religious. The support and lessons there are invaluable, not to mention hearing others who are in the same boat as you are and can give real life support. [/QUOTE]
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