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Living with Tennage Daughter diagnosis with Borderline (BPD)
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 527837" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Welcome NSA. I have not read all the post-sorry if I repeat. I am so sorry you are going through this. I can relate to your story. My difficult child is 17 now. We have done every known treatment to man to help her including 2 residential treatment centers for a total of 2.5 years. Our daughter could not attend regular school and got her GED this last Nov. so she is done almost 2 years early. These kids burn through and wear out friends just like they wear us out. We don't have the grooming issues and my difficult child now wants to be away from us most of the time. Our daughter thought she wasn't living unless there was drama somewhere. This is less intense now. The medications have not helped our daughter either with the exception of topomax which really took her edgy impulse problem away. We can't find anyone who is willing to give it to her now however.</p><p></p><p>Borderline (BPD) is a very difficult diagnosis. DBT is the kind of therapy recommended and it usually takes years to take hold. My daughter had an intensive residential DBT program for 9 months. We use this site to help us (though as of late she is not very willing). <a href="http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/linehan_dbt.html" target="_blank">http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/linehan_dbt.html</a></p><p></p><p>When difficult child starts her rambling talking,and always about herself, I call her on it. I even change the subject and talk to her about my day. Sometimes it works. Our daughter also crosses the line with things she says and shares. Boundaries are often hard for Borderline (BPD) people. I have to set and reset them constantly. I think that she doesn't want to be here anymore because we all refuse to take drama anymore. Everyone just walks away. Somehow she finds a friend to go to. Work has also helped her.</p><p></p><p> Our current issues are different, but we have been through it. I have read many Borderline (BPD) books. Some say tough love backfires, others recommend being very honest about your feelings and reactions to their behaviors. We learned from the DBT treatment to just tell it strait. I think this has helped. We also tell her, "It sounds like your frustrtaed or stressed or .....what can you do for your self to calm down?" </p><p></p><p>There is hope for Borderline (BPD) but the road is long. I suggest connecting with a local NAMI group. Also finding a teen DBT group might be helpful. Your spending a lot of money on therapy that for most Borderline (BPD) people doesn't work very well. It takes a very well trained therapist to deal with this disorder. Hang in there and keep us posted. ((Hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 527837, member: 11001"] Welcome NSA. I have not read all the post-sorry if I repeat. I am so sorry you are going through this. I can relate to your story. My difficult child is 17 now. We have done every known treatment to man to help her including 2 residential treatment centers for a total of 2.5 years. Our daughter could not attend regular school and got her GED this last Nov. so she is done almost 2 years early. These kids burn through and wear out friends just like they wear us out. We don't have the grooming issues and my difficult child now wants to be away from us most of the time. Our daughter thought she wasn't living unless there was drama somewhere. This is less intense now. The medications have not helped our daughter either with the exception of topomax which really took her edgy impulse problem away. We can't find anyone who is willing to give it to her now however. Borderline (BPD) is a very difficult diagnosis. DBT is the kind of therapy recommended and it usually takes years to take hold. My daughter had an intensive residential DBT program for 9 months. We use this site to help us (though as of late she is not very willing). [URL]http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/linehan_dbt.html[/URL] When difficult child starts her rambling talking,and always about herself, I call her on it. I even change the subject and talk to her about my day. Sometimes it works. Our daughter also crosses the line with things she says and shares. Boundaries are often hard for Borderline (BPD) people. I have to set and reset them constantly. I think that she doesn't want to be here anymore because we all refuse to take drama anymore. Everyone just walks away. Somehow she finds a friend to go to. Work has also helped her. Our current issues are different, but we have been through it. I have read many Borderline (BPD) books. Some say tough love backfires, others recommend being very honest about your feelings and reactions to their behaviors. We learned from the DBT treatment to just tell it strait. I think this has helped. We also tell her, "It sounds like your frustrtaed or stressed or .....what can you do for your self to calm down?" There is hope for Borderline (BPD) but the road is long. I suggest connecting with a local NAMI group. Also finding a teen DBT group might be helpful. Your spending a lot of money on therapy that for most Borderline (BPD) people doesn't work very well. It takes a very well trained therapist to deal with this disorder. Hang in there and keep us posted. ((Hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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