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General Parenting
LLOOONNNNGGG Night, NEED ADVICE
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 78867" data-attributes="member: 393"><p>NNT,</p><p></p><p>This isn't time off for good behavior. This is by mutual agreement wiping the slate clean. Setting up guidelines to be followed (rules are the wrong word to use) with consequences (not punishment) for not following the guidelines.</p><p></p><p>This is working as a team, if at all possible, to set up guidelines that difficult child can be successful at. Something you know & she knows she can do - giving her a feeling of accomplishment. difficult child can feel & know that she can make good, safe choices.</p><p></p><p>The first set of guidelines were so ridiculously easy there was no way either one of them could fail. As they "conquered" those guidelines - other more challenging ones were added. </p><p></p><p>Of course, the tweedles came to us at almost 7 years of age. We had a lot of catching up to do. A lot of re-teaching them & giving them many chances to redo that. My children still get 2 redo's before a consequence is given.</p><p></p><p>This is thinking outside the box. Your difficult child isn't anywhere close to being in the box (my tweedles aren't either). We've had to be very creative in parenting kt & wm. Our children need to learn basics before we can move onto more sophisticated privileges & such.</p><p></p><p>Please don't take this as an insult or a comment on your parenting. I know exactly how frustrated you are right now. It took me almost 2 years to break the "mold", if you will, & start over with less traditional ways of parenting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 78867, member: 393"] NNT, This isn't time off for good behavior. This is by mutual agreement wiping the slate clean. Setting up guidelines to be followed (rules are the wrong word to use) with consequences (not punishment) for not following the guidelines. This is working as a team, if at all possible, to set up guidelines that difficult child can be successful at. Something you know & she knows she can do - giving her a feeling of accomplishment. difficult child can feel & know that she can make good, safe choices. The first set of guidelines were so ridiculously easy there was no way either one of them could fail. As they "conquered" those guidelines - other more challenging ones were added. Of course, the tweedles came to us at almost 7 years of age. We had a lot of catching up to do. A lot of re-teaching them & giving them many chances to redo that. My children still get 2 redo's before a consequence is given. This is thinking outside the box. Your difficult child isn't anywhere close to being in the box (my tweedles aren't either). We've had to be very creative in parenting kt & wm. Our children need to learn basics before we can move onto more sophisticated privileges & such. Please don't take this as an insult or a comment on your parenting. I know exactly how frustrated you are right now. It took me almost 2 years to break the "mold", if you will, & start over with less traditional ways of parenting. [/QUOTE]
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LLOOONNNNGGG Night, NEED ADVICE
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