Local news

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Kjs, Nov 30, 2007.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    About a month ago a 17 year old girl was beat severly by 7 teenagers. I know atleast 2 were 14, one 15 two 17 years old. Not sure about the other two. because..she talked to someone this group didn't like.

    Four girls, three boys. Lured this girl out to the park, promising to smoke pot. Severly beat her. The four girls did the beating, 15 year old boy sexually assulted her including with a stick/branch.

    My son knows some of these kids. OMG. Scary. One of the 14 year old girls goes to his school. difficult child said he can't believe she would do this, she seems nice. (WHAT???this girl is truant weeks at a time, failing all classes, affiliated with gangs, assult to a school official, other records too)..some good comes out of sitting in the school office all the time.

    difficult child and I had a very long talk today. The two 14 year old girls will remain in Juvenile court. The 15 year old boy was waived to adult court. Judge stated she didn't think the maximum 5 years in Juvenile Jail would benefit him. He now faces 99.5 years maximum. OMG. difficult child and I talked about how this boy just threw his entire life away. He probably never even thought of it when he was beating this girl.
    Another 16 year old boy was there and is being charged because he did not do anything to stop it.
    difficult child said, "I wouldn't either. Because they would beat me like they beat that girl".
    HOW DO I RESPOND TO THAT? All of the accused are in detention/jail at the time pending trial. All of the accused are noted to have some affiliation with gangs. I am worried he thinks this way. What would he do if he were threatened?
     
  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    His thinking is actually pretty typical. The fact the one girl was continually in trouble is irrelevant to him -- what matters is that she says hi to him in the hallways, maybe helps someone pick up some books when dropped, etc. That makes her "nice."

    As to not helping because he would be beat up, too. Sadly, he's probably right. The question might have to be what would he do if he heard plans that this was going to happen? Would he go along? Would he say, "No way, I don't want any part of this?" Would he then go get help?

    Peer pressure stinks. For some kids, they will do the right thing no matter what the consequences. For others, being liked is more important. It is hard to teach a teen to do the right thing. I think it is easier when a child has seen parents speak up when seeing something wrong happen when they were young. (As they get older, they just think their parents are nuts at the very best for doing so.)

    This instance is a great time to have a few discussions about how important helping another is, especially if there is a chance to stop it before it goes too far. The sad thing about this event is that not only are the lives of all the kids who did the deed destroyed, so is the live of the ones who stood by and probably felt helpless to do anything and, of course, the victim. No one escapes an act like this without major damage.
     
  3. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I think its important to tell our kids about stories like this and explain about going along with the crowd. They need to know that just by being there, they could get in just as much trouble as if they had done something. We can't pick their friends, and many difficult child's tend to flock with like-minded difficult child's, so at least we can warn them.-Alyssa
     
  4. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Unfortunately difficult child learned his first year in middle school about snitching. He told who was selling pot. That boy and his friends have threatened him since. difficult child will not ever snitch again.
    I am taking this terrible incident to discuss situations with difficult child. i don't want to keep it going but I want him to see that even the ones who did nothing are going to spend time in Juvenile detention, possible supervison for the least. With a criminal violent record.
    We also discussed as unfair as it is, once someones exits the legal system they are not treated fairly. Many rehabilitate, some do not. But regardless one of the questions on a job application is, "have you ever been convicted of a felony." We agree it isn't fair, but it is reality.
    meow...what you say is so true. He "saw" a nice girl. EVEN though she punched the VP in the face. That is one charge still pending. Battery to a school official. I am relieved she is gone. I know many other kids are affiliated with groups like this. Hopefully, I pray, he will stay clear.
     
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I hope he learns there is a huge difference between telling on someone using pot and someone about to be seriously injured. While using pot is illegal, it isn't a plan to hurt or kill another being. There are some things where it is understandable to not stand up and say this is wrong. There are times when you have to stand up and say this will not happen and I'll do everything in my power to stop it. Hopefully, he will one day understand that and if he hears of something like this ever happening will do his best to stop it.

    If someone had known the plan was to take this girl out to beat the bejesus out of her and did not speak up, they can be found to be guilty of charges such as accessory and, in some states, even the same crimes as the kids who actively participated. I doubt the boy who watched will get off with just a slap on the wrist unless he can prove he didn't know it was going to happen until the beating started. Then he might be able to claim fear of injury as to why he didn't do anything.

    What a horrid, sad situation for everyone -- even the kids at school like your son who had to hear about it in the news. It is another loss of innocence.
     
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with Meowbunny. Its one thing to know about pot being sold while its a totally other thing to know about or watch a violent act.

    Explain to him that he can always report such things anonymously. Other people dont have to know that he is the reporter so he wont be picked on and ostracized but its very important to report such things. Just think of someone talking about bringing a gun to school. That could lead to horrible consequences to many people. Him included. I think there are 1-800 lines for such things now.

    Parents should also act like what we want our kids to act. We should return money if the cashier gives us to much change, report odd behavior in the parking lots to a manager, call the cops for broken down cars or accidents, always make sure that the cashier charges us for that soda we have in our hands at the grocery store, etc. They notice.

    I cant tell you how many times Cory has told me Im an idiot for calling attention to the fact that the cashier didnt charge me for that diet coke Im drinking. I refuse to steal anything. Its not right, its illegal, and it costs someone, somewhere money. I figure karma comes around in the end. If I do the right thing, I will come out ok.
     
  7. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Last Year, seventh grade, two boys got into it in his class. One threatened to bring a knife and cut the other up, the other boy responded saying he was bringing a "bang" on Monday. No teacher in the room when this happened. He told me, but was afraid to speak up at school. I told him he needed to report this. (meanwhile, I did report what I heard)
    Monday morning, difficult child dediced before school he needed to tell and went directly to the correct person. She held him in the room, they did locker/kid checks. no "bang" was found, but a pocket knife was.
    He was relieved he did what he did. He did not tell anyone he did this. According to the people I spoke to, three people had reported this. Scary..out of a class of about 25.

    I believe difficult child would tell me. He does insist if the school went into lockdown because of someone in the school, he would jump out a window. He has his route all planned from each classroom. I have pleaded with him to do as instructed if this ever occured. He is ademant (sp) about fleeing the building. Not even trying to understand there could be more danger outside.
     
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I agree with-Meowbunny. She says "Hi" in the hallway and he thinks she's nice.
    My kids and I have had talks like this but this reminds me ... I will do it again. My son will take on anyone, so he'd probably be happy to get into a fight! My daughter would report it in a heartbeat--she'd be more subtle and leave the group and either call the police or a parent. I will ask her if she'd jump into the foray to stop it on the spot.

    How sad. How sickening. I feel for that girl. I know that the kid who just watched doesn't "get it."
     
  9. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    We had a more in depth discussion on this.

    difficult child said, he would not try to stop it because these kids would beat HIM up if he did.

    When we discussed, leaving, walking away..difficult child gave same answer. Can't, these kids would beat him up.

    Even when discussing school, and what to do if someone hit him. He said he would hit back. He got very upset and said:

    "YOU DON'T GET IT. These kids will HUNT you down and beat/kill you."

    He said you cannot walk away. So, are the kids these days this afraid? So afraid they would risk their lives?? Who can I pass this story on to in hope of getting the kids all on the same page..NOT being afraid, being proud of who YOU are.
     
  10. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Yeah, some of the kids are that mean and that dangerous. However, if the kids don't stand up, it continues because the bullies know they can get away with it. At some point, we have got to teach our kids that doing the right thing may have risks but has to be done. This is a teach by example thing. If we stand by and let bad things happen because we don't want to get involved or don't want to take the risk, our kids learn that the safe way is the best way.

    Things we can do as parents is call the school and ask what we can do to help stop this kind of thing. Get involved with the police -- have them go to the schools and have HONEST discussions about what a kid can do to stop acts like these in the safest manner possible.

    Taking a school or a neighborhood back from kids like these is hard. There are risks. It can, however, be done. In gang- and/or drug-infested neighborhoods individuals have made a difference. They've written down license plates of people visiting the drug houses and given them to police. They've gone up to cars and told them to move along -- they're not wanted in their neighborhood. The people who did this showed incredible courage. Some came to serious harm. Most, however, were protected not just by the police but by the neighbors who were afraid to stand up.

    We all have to make our choices and decide what risks we are willing to take. So do our kids. We can try to guide them but, ultimately, the choice has to be theirs. Sometimes you can act anonymously. In an instance where the kids know a fight or beating is planned or where they hear someone is going to bring a weapon to school, they can report it without giving their name or tell a trusted person who can then take the necessary steps.

    Doing the right thing is rarely easy and that may be the lesson we have to teach.
     
  11. goldenguru

    goldenguru New Member

    What is especially sad is that these same 7 teenagers who did the beating - are probably products of having been beaten themselves. Violence has a nasty way of perpetuating itself.

    The fact that they are involved in gangs - and have already been adjudicated to the system at such tender ages does not speak well of what they have been exposed to at this point.

    I don't have 'the answers'. But, sentencing a 15 year old to life imprisonment is wrong on so many levels.

    What a sad commentary on growing up in America.
     
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