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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 650870" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>LOL, yes I have advice: keep at it and the right guy can handle your situation. You can't meet Mr Right when you are involved with Mr Wrong.</p><p>I met my husband (married 25 years now) when my Difficult Child was 16. He said he wanted a daughter more than anything. I thought he was crazy. Still after everything that Difficult Child has put us through we are still a strong couple. I will say my Difficult Child didn't like me dating my husband and upped her antics and theatrics to try and ruin the relationship, however I had it in my mind, that she would rather I be lonely and have me all to herself (trapped) and I was looking at the years down the road when she would be busy with her own life and I wasn't about to spend the rest of my life lonely just because she wanted to keep me in that position. One thing that helps when you have Difficult Child is too date a long time without involving the children. The two people in a relationship need time to build a relationship together outside the craziness that the Difficult Child's bring into the picture. She can't destroy what she has no access too. Use your dates with new man, to escape from the craziness and develop strong relationships that are NOT based on the children as soon, at least the older more problematic child will be gone from the house and you can then move the relationship into a long-term situation. Enjoy romance as an outside activity that does not involve your crazy household, but instead is something nice you do for yourself; like a candlelight dinner out, a quick cup of coffee, a movie etc. I see no reason why you cannot introduce the non-troubled child to someone new, after you have built something with that person for yourself first. </p><p>Finding Mr Right can happen when you have a troubled family, but it has to be something that you do for yourself and you have to be willing, at least in the beginning to drop those issues at the door. Let the person know after some happy dates that your child is troubled but don't make the situation the sole focus on that other person having a relationship with you (it can be too much baggage, where as the person begins to fall for you, they are also more likely to stand with you as you go through problems) . He will be dating you, not your children, until there is a proper time and place where you both make the choice together. The thing about this last part too is that you want to make sure the man is interested in you when you meet him and not some perv interested in a single mother with young girls. It happens, a lot. So you not only have a right to a private life outside your girls, you are doing them a favor by not introducing someone new to the situation too quickly. Win, win.</p><p>God luck and keep you eyes wide open for Mr Right!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 650870, member: 18366"] LOL, yes I have advice: keep at it and the right guy can handle your situation. You can't meet Mr Right when you are involved with Mr Wrong. I met my husband (married 25 years now) when my Difficult Child was 16. He said he wanted a daughter more than anything. I thought he was crazy. Still after everything that Difficult Child has put us through we are still a strong couple. I will say my Difficult Child didn't like me dating my husband and upped her antics and theatrics to try and ruin the relationship, however I had it in my mind, that she would rather I be lonely and have me all to herself (trapped) and I was looking at the years down the road when she would be busy with her own life and I wasn't about to spend the rest of my life lonely just because she wanted to keep me in that position. One thing that helps when you have Difficult Child is too date a long time without involving the children. The two people in a relationship need time to build a relationship together outside the craziness that the Difficult Child's bring into the picture. She can't destroy what she has no access too. Use your dates with new man, to escape from the craziness and develop strong relationships that are NOT based on the children as soon, at least the older more problematic child will be gone from the house and you can then move the relationship into a long-term situation. Enjoy romance as an outside activity that does not involve your crazy household, but instead is something nice you do for yourself; like a candlelight dinner out, a quick cup of coffee, a movie etc. I see no reason why you cannot introduce the non-troubled child to someone new, after you have built something with that person for yourself first. Finding Mr Right can happen when you have a troubled family, but it has to be something that you do for yourself and you have to be willing, at least in the beginning to drop those issues at the door. Let the person know after some happy dates that your child is troubled but don't make the situation the sole focus on that other person having a relationship with you (it can be too much baggage, where as the person begins to fall for you, they are also more likely to stand with you as you go through problems) . He will be dating you, not your children, until there is a proper time and place where you both make the choice together. The thing about this last part too is that you want to make sure the man is interested in you when you meet him and not some perv interested in a single mother with young girls. It happens, a lot. So you not only have a right to a private life outside your girls, you are doing them a favor by not introducing someone new to the situation too quickly. Win, win. God luck and keep you eyes wide open for Mr Right! [/QUOTE]
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