long post but lots has happened..

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gennard, Mar 7, 2007.

  1. gennard

    gennard New Member

    difficult child went to his pshy appointment. today. We spent 10 mns and DR looked at sch reports, and immediatley sent me to an inpatient center. That was at 3:05 and I didnt leave until 6pm. I spent 45mns on the ph with- my ex, trying to explain what needed to be done, what the stay would involve and so forth. He argued, accused and all but blamed me for our sons behaviour as I didnt have guidelines and teach respect and control at my house. He threatened to call his lawyer and block me from admitting difficult child (I HAVE full custody so this was BS). I had NO notice for this, totally shocked when they said it needed to start immediatly. Apparently, Psyh is thinking Bi-Polar and said nothing more could be done from him except intreatment due to change of diagnosis and fact that medications might be contradicting each other. difficult child seemed to understand what he was goin to do and that he would stay a few days with-o mommy and not see daddy for the weekend..I cried..oh how I cried, trying to reason what my heart wanted to do, wanting to hug him,knowing in my mind that this had to be done. It was SO hard to keep it together, thank god I had an aunt with- me who kept him bussy in the lobby. My ex cb and argued more, said he called his attorney and would have me in mediation, wanted me to wauit over the weekend so they could go to monster truck, kept asking about the cost, again blaming me, said I harassed him at work by calling him and yelling (ok yes I was raising my voice, I was scared and mad and confused and all he wanted to do was make excuses) and that his lawyer had noted that as well. It was a HORRIBLE night. I left difficult child at 6 or so and returned with- clothes and a teddy bear as well as medications. He seems to understand its not for punishment and its just to help with- his getting mad and for his own good. I an so sorry, I just am rambling as I am at a loss as how to deal with- this. They said it would be a few days, maybe Fri. when he is discharged, my ex refused his visitation this weekend even if he is out, stating that he has been in a strange place and would need his mommy..whatever. Oh, and he grilled me about the facility and if the had security and monotoring, cause his son could get molested. Yeah, thats my fisrt thought when I am having to admit my son for treatment...jack@#$%. So, I expect a call today and we go from there. PLEASE, and parent out there reading this that have gone thru this I would greatly appreciate your words of encouragement. I am just going to have to pray and trust that this is all part of a plan, and hope we find a solution or reason for how we have come to this point in our journey.
  2. Loris

    Loris New Member

    I'm sorry you're hurting. It is hard to deal with sometimes, but when they're not stable, it's where he needs to be. It's a good thing that psychiatrist is checking medications. I'm sorry ex is blaming you. This is no one's fault, it's just what is. I hope they get him stable soon, and confirm what the problem is.
  3. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style="color: #993399">genny....deep breaths.

    you seem sure that this is the right thing for your son right now. he sticky wick is you ex. let him drag you to mediation....by the time you get there difficult child will have been discharged & will hopefully be doing better. he'll look like the jerk he sounds to be. yea, monster truck show is much more important than getting your son stabilized :smile: :hammer: :hammer: :smile:.

    while he's in hospital maybe it would be a good idea to schedule :bath: :bath: for yourself.

    hang in.

  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Hospitalizing our kids is never easy but it's a good thing. He is getting the help he needs. I think, in part, because of the stigma that is still out there for mental issues, people have issues with it. But if your child had to be hospitalized for medical issues, no one would think twice. I look at it as the same thing. There are health issues to be dealt with, whether mental or medical. They go, they get the help and they come home. Doesn't make it any easier by any means but it's the same concept.

    So for you and difficult child, I know it's hard but it sounds like your difficult child has a good doctor and will get stable. That's what's important right now.

    As for your ex......the next time he starts accusing, arguing and behaving like a jerk, I would just calmly tell him that if he is questioning anything, he's more than welcome to read all of the reports and speak with the doctor. You are doing right by your child, you are the one who is dealing with it and any problems this guy has are just that...His. He can say anything he wants but keep rememberering that you know what is going on and are doing the best thing for your son.

    I know it's a hard situation but hang in there. It's good that your difficult child is getting help and you can use this time while he's there to take a breath or two and recharge a little.

    Sending Hugs.
  5. I haven't been here for a bit, so I don't know much of your story. But, I am sorry to hear of the trouble you're having, esp. with the ex. Denial can be so strong -- some people have the hardest time admitting that their child can have a serious problem. I hope all works out well. Hugs and prayers for you!
  6. jodyice

    jodyice New Member

    sorry ex is blaming you for these behaviors and hope you're not blaming yourself. Although it's never an easy decision, hospitalization can be the best thing for the time. Hopefully they will be able to get medications situated where there's improvement. Take some *me* time during this time, it's important for your mental and physical health.
    ~sending cyber hugs~
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im so sorry for your mommy heart. Your son is where he needs to be and most of the kiddie psychiatric hospitals are really good places and they make them nice.

    Your ex is being a jerk. Monster trucks will wait. Im also sure a judge at mediation would be thrilled to know that a depressed habitual pot smoker was questioning a psychiatrist. Yeah...good thinking there dude.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, I am so sorry for your distress. You can only trust that the docs know what they are doing. Do you think that having your ex lay the blame on you, then do armchair quarterbacking and generally freaking out, is one of the reasons he's your ex? (Rhetorial Q there... just to give you some perspective.)
    This is only temporary but of course, you have to live through it now. Keep breathing, if not for your own sake, then that of your difficult child. Hope and strength and good thoughts coming your way.
  9. bonkers

    bonkers New Member

    I am sorry for your hurt, no better word for you then that bytes! The good is there is hope in him getting what he needs...

    As for the ex, remind him monster trucks come around every year.. If your son can wiat I am sure big-boy Ex can as well...
  10. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Hope the next couple of days bring you some stabilization... sorry you are in this situation.
    big hugs

    Monster trucks... what a loser.
  11. gennard

    gennard New Member

    Thanks to all of you. I have actually laughed at the thought of the monster truck thing. I remember talking (is that the word? lol!!) to him in the parking lot and thinking...who needs the help here..me or difficult child..another lol...

    Well, he has been in since Wed. but only yesterday did he exibit any of the things we had had problems with. They say he is an angel, a sport and gets along well. They are having to justify why he is there in the first place. They have changed his rx, no longer on Abilify now its Resperdal. they will keep him until Mon. as it seems he didnt do well b4 when he was younger and plus they are giving general adj time. difficult child says hes doing good, the center only has about 7 kids and he is the youngest. They have found really nothing and that in itself should be a sign that he has a strong personality. The therapist did ask if I thought difficult child was being psy abused, I explained ex and problem, dont know where this comes into play exactly.

    I have had no other problems with ex, other than the fact that I asked him to rotate the weekend sch with- me so I could get some r&r with- my boyfriend, working 11hr days to keep busy and going to the cnter because its too far to go home and come back. Tomorrow I work 9-1 see difficult child from 1:30-3:30 and then take a 2hr dr to JAX and stay the night, ret by 6:30 Sun. for visitation and then collapse and start back over Mon. I have not taken any ME time, and I know you guys will give me a rash of %$%#..but this small trip (boyfriend lives out of state FL and is meeting 1/2 way as he workds a 60hr week inc. wknds) is my saving sanity. If this man were here he would submit to jail time for kicking my ex's %$# because he knows the crap I have dealt with-..but joking aside I am just waiting it out hoping its the right decision. I am starting to ramble...I am tired and have another long day. I really do appreciate what you have all said..this has made a world of difference knowing I am not alone.