Long, Stressful Holiday Weekend....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Nov 30, 2009.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    The schools were closed for the Thanksgiving holiday on Wednesday...so our "holiday weekend" started on Tuesday night.

    difficult child came off the bus in a 'trouble-making' mood--which means she just picks and picks and picks at her brother...

    husband had a talk with her about being more considerate of her family members and being helpful with holiday preparations. difficult child assured her Dad that she planned on cleaning up the leaves in the yard on Wed, so that everything would look nice on Thanksgiving.

    Wed morning, I had to run to the store for a few last-minute items. difficult child spent the trip pick--pick--picking at her brother and then whenever he responded to her she yelled at him to 'shut up!!'...

    We arrived home and I got busy baking and cleaning....DS got busy cleaning his room and helping in the kitchen....

    difficult child sat in her room blasting her radio and yelling about how we were 'bothering' her. DS discovered she had taken some of his stuff--and when he asked for it back, difficult child began yelling about how she doesn't like being accused of being a thief. So I had DS stay in the kitchen with me for a few hours while difficult child ranted and raved about how she's not a thief, and how DARE anyone accuse her....

    After several hours of carrying on.....difficult child returned his belongings....with an admonishment that she might have returned it sooner, had she not been wrongfully accused of taking it.

    When husband finally arrived home from work that evening, he was disappointed to see that the leaves had not been raked in the yard, as difficult child had promised to do. But the house looked nice, so husband praised DS for working so hard to help get everything ready for the holiday...and then he went to see why difficult child had not done anything to help out.

    Not surpisingly, difficult child had a long list of grievances against DS and I, and how we "ruined" her day, and she was just too upset to do anything. husband tried to have a rational conversation with her, but things are not rational with difficult child. She told husband how much she hates all of us, and it is OUR fault that she is depressed, and she wants to kill herself so badly to get away from us. The only thing that could make life better is to send DS to live somewhere else, and to give difficult child tons of priviledges and zero responsibilities and then life would be grand--and if husband won't do that for her, then she hates him most of all.

    Poor husband came out of difficult child's bedroom and had his first ever panic-attack. He lay on the couch panting for breath and complaining that his head hurt. If he mentioned chest pain I was going to drive him straight to the ER....but eventually, his symptoms subsided...

    And that's how it went this weekend....

    difficult child did nothing but act hatefully toward us, and we all tip-toed around her--too tired and too stressed out to deal with another one of her rages. Everything is our fault--everything sets her off (someone took too long in the bathroom, somebody made a noise while difficult child was reading, someone didn't have a meal ready, somebody didn't do her laundry....and on and on). I just don't know how much more of this we can take.

    difficult child is absolutely oblivious to anyone's feelings but her own.

    Though she did manage to speak to us long enough to present us with a really, really long Christmas list...


    Yeah, I'm gonna get right on that.

  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    DF, nothing like a holiday to bring out the best in a family.:whiteflag:

    How is your progress in getting treatment for difficult child? It's clear she needs it.

    Hugs for your hurting mommy heart.
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Thanks, Smallworld--

    Progress is stalled. I am waiting to hear back a response from the many people that I have telephoned and mailed regarding difficult child.

    One good note, a counselor that travels between the schools in our district is going to be "checking in" on difficult child about once a month, just to see how she is doing. A small help--but we'll take it.

  4. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member


    So sorry you had to go through that. It's exhausting to deal with that kind of behavior. We had a tough day after Thanksgiving, so I feel your pain. I'm still worn out. :(
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    What happened? (by the way--It's OK to hi-jack my thread....)
  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sounds much like my difficult child only I was the only one in the house for her to bring her wrath on. I am sorry for the stress it brings. It really can make one's health poor. Be sure you all get breaks from it.