Hi all, this is my first post but I've been lurking a long time. Shari's post me thinking....I'll try my best to put it into words... I have a 16yo difficult child. His diagnosis is adhd, odd/conduct disorder, mood disorder. He's been in therapy most of his life. He's been in Residential Treatment Center (RTC). His medications are stable. I feel that I have done everything a parent can do to provide him with the tools he needs to make decisions and live a productive life. Despite ongoing efforts he just refuses to make the right choices... Now onto my point... When he was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), it was the first time that I have ever felt calm and at peace. Upon his return, I felt nothing. That nothingness has turned into dislike, that dislike has turned into revulsion. He is currently with my dad and step-mom for a few week visit. I am dreading the day he walks back in the door. I hate that I feel that way. No amount of "breaks" from him is going to fix this. Anytime away from him just reinforces those negative feelings. I am in therapy. She's trying to help me through this. I just don't see anything changing until difficult child moves out. Ok, I feel like I'm rambling now. I guess I just haven't ran across anyone else with a difficult child that feels like me or maybe they are just too afraid to admit it.