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Looking for advice (warning: sensitive matter, not going to be for everyone)
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 281196" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'">Your post reminded me so much of what difficult child 1 is going through. Biomom (BM) does not believe her. husband and I do her story has not changed since day 1. However, BM has accused husband of the same thing so many times that the prosecutor wont touch it because difficult child 1 is physically incapable of providing proof. (The accusations against husband have all been closed as unfounded the one against the boyfriend is indicated meaning they believe her but cant prove it.) We have taken her in 3x for an exam the first two she refused, she was so upset, the third she was crying so much so traumatic they refused to examine her. Now so much time has passed there may never be physical proof. This man has a same-age daughter. Were almost sure things are happening to her but she wont tell. difficult child 1 refuses to visit BM as long as BM is with this guy and BM is refusing to even speak with difficult child 1 now.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'">Since there is no statute of limitations Let your family know you are going to do this. Tell them any information they might have would help. But they dont have to join you. You might be surprised at what comes out of the woodwork.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'">Dont feel alone. And if he is being openly investigated, he knows hes done for. Just one thing I want you to remember You may have made peace with this inside But <em>it was never your fault</em>. You know it was his, rationally, but deep down inside it sometimes still feels like maybe you could have stopped it. <em>You couldnt</em>. Im working with difficult child 1 on releasing the blame. I think were doing well, but it certainly doesnt hurt that we have an awesome psychiatrist for her that deals exclusively with abuse situations.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'">Lots of hugs, and good luck.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 281196, member: 6705"] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Calibri]Your post reminded me so much of what difficult child 1 is going through. Biomom (BM) does not believe her. husband and I do her story has not changed since day 1. However, BM has accused husband of the same thing so many times that the prosecutor wont touch it because difficult child 1 is physically incapable of providing proof. (The accusations against husband have all been closed as unfounded the one against the boyfriend is indicated meaning they believe her but cant prove it.) We have taken her in 3x for an exam the first two she refused, she was so upset, the third she was crying so much so traumatic they refused to examine her. Now so much time has passed there may never be physical proof. This man has a same-age daughter. Were almost sure things are happening to her but she wont tell. difficult child 1 refuses to visit BM as long as BM is with this guy and BM is refusing to even speak with difficult child 1 now.[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Calibri][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/FONT] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Calibri]Since there is no statute of limitations Let your family know you are going to do this. Tell them any information they might have would help. But they dont have to join you. You might be surprised at what comes out of the woodwork.[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Calibri][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/FONT] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Calibri]Dont feel alone. And if he is being openly investigated, he knows hes done for. Just one thing I want you to remember You may have made peace with this inside But [I]it was never your fault[/I]. You know it was his, rationally, but deep down inside it sometimes still feels like maybe you could have stopped it. [I]You couldnt[/I]. Im working with difficult child 1 on releasing the blame. I think were doing well, but it certainly doesnt hurt that we have an awesome psychiatrist for her that deals exclusively with abuse situations.[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Calibri][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/FONT] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Calibri]Lots of hugs, and good luck.[/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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