Looking for any advice

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by NAFEKOH, Nov 25, 2007.


    NAFEKOH New Member

    My wife and I are new foster parents and the first child we hace accepted into our home has been diagnosed with adhd, odd and is bi-polar. We are searching for any ideas for dealing with the odd. We have tried everything we know to try and would welcome any fresh ideas. I have researched the condition extensively but really like some ideas from parents who are dealing with this condition first hand.
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator


    Sorry for all the questions, but your answers will help us point you in the right direction.

    How old is your child? Is your child a boy or girl?
    What kind of doctor diagnosed your child? Is your child in therapy?
    Is your child on any medications? If so, what and what are the doses?
    What kind of behaviors are you seeing that trouble you?

    Again, welcome. You will find a lot of support here.
  3. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    There's a thread in the Special Education Archives on ODD in the classroom. The techniques addressed can be used in the home.

    There have been several threads on ODD in the last week or so. You might find some helpful or otherwise interesting information in them.

    ADHD medications can cause problems in a bipolar child. Best practices indicates the bipolar needs to be stabilized prior to introducing an ADHD medication. But some bipolar/ADHD kids can't take a stimulant period. If your child is taking an ADHD medication, you may want to discuss this issue with difficult child's psychiatrist, including whether the stimulant may be causing some of the ODD symptoms you are seeing.

    Kids with ADHD sometimes have co-existing conditions such as motor skill delays, sensory issues, learning disorders, etc. Because psychiatrists and psychologists aren't real good about picking up on problem areas outside their immediate area of expertise, I'm a big fan of multidisciplinary evaluations. You can learn more about MDEs on the FAQ/Board Help forum.

    Welcome aboard. :smile:
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I wanted to add my warm welcome. :flower:

    Hugs :gingerbread:
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! Get the Explosive Child by Ross Greene. Even if you don't utilize the techniques (which as you will learn, each child is different, some respond to one thing and some will respond to others). The key to this book is:

    1. you get some insight into how the child thinks and reacts to different things

    2. it's written in plain old lingo. None of that techno gibberish that some of the books go into

    3. it gives you some good ideas on how to communicate with these kids as well as the right and wrong times to attempt to do so

    Welcome to the Crowd! You'll get a lot of support and no judgements!

  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    You've got your hands full.
    I like Ross Greene's book, too.
    You're in good company here. Read through the notes and see if you can get insights there.
    Post again, in detail and tell us more about your new foster child and the issues you've been having.
  7. April

    April New Member

    My husband and I just got custody of two foster kids about 5 months ago, our son has ODD, ADHD, PTSD, and Bi-Polar...our psychiatrist recommended the book "Your Defiant Child" I can't remember the author, but it focuses on ODD, and some things to help. I don't have much expreience yet, since this is all new to us too, but I understand your frustration, and am totally sympathetic to your situation.

    I wish there was more I can do to help, but the folks here are all good and knowledgeable people.

    NAFEKOH New Member

    Our child is 8 years old and is a boy. I am not for sure what kind of doctor first diagnosed him but I do know that before he came to our home he as in a psychiatric hospital. He attends a cou8nseling session once a week for a hour and is on seroquel-200mg twice daily,vyvanse-50mg once daily,tenex-1/2mg dailym and lithium-450mg daily. The vyvanse is new, he was taking adderall twice a day but I am not sure of the doseage.Some of his behaviors are showing a little improvement but it still seems like that no matter what we do he constantly wants to argue with us. He doesn't want to listen to anyone including his teacher at school. He constantly disrupts his class during the day and at home he does fairly well accept for getting ready for school in the mornings, taking a bath at night(this usually turns into at least an hour ordeal) and then getting him to actually go to bed is another battle. We have tried taking things away from him as punishment, also we have tried timeout, early bedtime, we tried the sticker thing so he would actually have a visual that he had done something wrong but it just dooesn't seem to phase him. When we take something from him he always says that we are stealing his stuff or we are hurting him. He has also started being a little destructive with things around the house and of course he doesn't accept responsibility for anything he does. I think I could go on all night but i'm sure you have heard and seen everything I could say.
  9. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Ok, sorry about the extra questions:

    Regarding school:

    Is he in a new school because of the new placement with you?

    Does he have an IEP (Individual Education Plan)?

    If so, do you have a copy?

    Is it a General Ed placement or Special Education school?

    How are his academics? (does he do well, or could there be learning disabilities?)

    Has the school put together a Functional Behavior Analysis (FBA) or a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) for him? These help for kids that are having behavior problems in school.

    The Special Education forum on here will be a lot of help with school issues (just finished an "h-e-double hockey sticks" time with our school - Moved difficult child 3 into Special Education just to get her away from the looney bin they call general ed around here!).

    When you can, go into the "My Stuff" drop down up top and fill out a profile. It will show up at the end of your posts and people will get to know you and your situation better without asking the same questions over and over again!

  10. April

    April New Member


    How long as Mr. Man been in your home? I ask because I think you cloned my son...LOL Not to be flippant, but everything you have said behavior wise is exactly what we have/are going through. The medicines for my son are different, but he has trouble in school (listening that is, his grades are excellent), and trouble at home listening...getting angry and destructive. Don't know if it will help, we just had a case conference and something that came out is that if he is in trouble a lot then he is feeling really beat up. He needs to feel successful at something, anything. They also suggested that we ignore 90% of his behaviors and only focus on the ones that could hurt him, someone else physically, or affect his legal status (IE stealing etc), and it has worked relatively well so far. The other thing they suggested was to wait until the issue had past to address it. Kids in his shoes doen't hear the reasoning, or the corrections when they are still in the midst of their meltdowns. Avoid the confrontation, talk him down, get him to chill for just a few, then address it, and do by way of questioning him so that he draws the conclusions himself. It is also a control thing...he feels like everything is out of control, and he can't even control his behaviors...if by allowing him to lecture (for lack of a better word) himself prompted by your questions, he will hear you better. Each child is different of course, but hey it can't hurt to try right?

    NAFEKOH New Member

    He is in a new school but from what I understand he is doing better at this school than any other school he has attended.He does have an IEP and I"m sure my wife has a copy of it filed with the other stuff for him. He is in regular school but in a Special Education class, a self contained classroom with only 10 students, 1 teacher and 1 aide. He is doing pretty good with his academics but the teacher makes him finish his work and redo any work that is incorrect. He is behind in reading, as a matter of fact he really can't read at all. We have been told that there could be some learning disabilities from possibly him being shaken when he was younger.I am not sure about and FBA or BIP.