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Parent Emeritus
Looking for some shared wisdom as period of no contact ends
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 620937" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>True.</p><p></p><p>But if Echo does not bring up the agreement, she is in the position of turning him away altogether or letting him in. It gets not to be about whether difficult child meets the terms of the agreement. Until Echo is ready, is done enough to tell her difficult child never to darken her door again, the agreement gives her a place to stand up.</p><p></p><p>difficult child is no longer calling and coming and being nice in order to live at home again. </p><p></p><p>And Echo has a place to stand.</p><p></p><p>One of the most healing things we learned was to establish what it would need to look like before we would help. What the difficult child would need to have accomplished, and what the money would be for. It was an early step, a first boundary.</p><p></p><p>But it was right and true, and gave us something solid to judge the situation by. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 620937, member: 17461"] True. But if Echo does not bring up the agreement, she is in the position of turning him away altogether or letting him in. It gets not to be about whether difficult child meets the terms of the agreement. Until Echo is ready, is done enough to tell her difficult child never to darken her door again, the agreement gives her a place to stand up. difficult child is no longer calling and coming and being nice in order to live at home again. And Echo has a place to stand. One of the most healing things we learned was to establish what it would need to look like before we would help. What the difficult child would need to have accomplished, and what the money would be for. It was an early step, a first boundary. But it was right and true, and gave us something solid to judge the situation by. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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