Looking for some suggestion

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Roosmama, Jul 5, 2012.

  1. Roosmama

    Roosmama New Member

    My daughter is 18. I am at the end of my rope and am looking for some advise. She moved out of the house while we - her Dad and I- were out of the country. Breaking her promise to look after her younger sister, the house, etc. My youngest daughter -14- was left alone to fend for herself for over a week. I was told that the school almost called social services because they thought my youngest had been abandoned.
    On top of this my 18 year old goes from job to job. She will get a new job - like it for a short time and then either quit for some reason or gets fired. She went from being an honor student to barely passing her courses in school. She goes from boyfriend to boyfriend and for lack of a better way to put it - she acts like a cat in heat. She dresses like a hooker. She wrecked the car and even though it was her fault as far as she is concerned she was not at fault. She won't listen, runs with the wrong crowd and says that she hates anyone she sees as a person in authority. I can't find any indication of drug use or alcohal abuse.
    I have 3 daughters. The older and younger ones act as the young ladies I raised them to be. But not the 18 year old. I did hear a story that she was a victim of date rape but she flatly refuses to go for councelling.
    I am at the point that I can say that I love my child but I really don't like her. Does anyone have any ideas of what I might be dealing with here or how to deal with this??
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there.

    You may want to post over at Parent Emeritus, which is for parents of adult kids.

    My own experience is that when behavior in teens changes radically there is usually drugs and alcohol involved, although they can be very good at hiding it. Have you checked her Facebook or cell phone or her room? Are her friends good kids or not so much? And what happened with the date rape?

    At age 18 there is not a lot we can do. Legally, we have no options other than tough love. If your daughter will not tow the line and follow the rules at home, you may have to consider telling her she will have to leave at graduation. At least, she should be in therapy.

    Hugs to you...I am one who has been there and done that with an adult child. Many here have no yet raised a difficult child who is 18 or older.