Looks as though tweedle dee is heading....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Feb 26, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    back to residential. We met with psychiatrist yesterday ~ half way thru the mtg kt ran out of psychiatrist's office (with PCA running after her). kt was not happy with some of the issues discussed. "That's private family stuff, mom." psychiatrist notified security & we continued our mtg.

    psychiatrist & I then left to find kt & PCA. She was more or less cornered & panicked when we found her. I insisted people back off & let kt breath; she would be less panicked & volatile if given room. psychiatrist asked kt if she was going to be safe. kt wouldn't answer. psychiatrist asked again if kt was going to harm herself or others. "No, you :censored2:". (Makes a mom proud, you know.) I transported her home with PCAs help & she was a happy kt; like nothing had happened.

    I've watched kt escalate over the last several months - dad dying pulled the rug out from under her. I saw this coming; worked with in home services to keep it from not happening but kept reminding people that she was building to a "meltdown" of sorts.

    So.....we see if funding is available/approved & then the search for a bed starts.
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Sad news, but I'm glad the powers that be are ready to act. Hopefully her stay will be less than last time. Hugs
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I'm sorry she needs to go back.
  4. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I'm so sorry that KT isn't doing well. Linda please use the down time while KT is away to take care of yourself. I know it is not in your nature to take a "breather" but I really think that you should this time. So much has happened this last year and you really need to get some rest. We are all concerned for you. -RM
  5. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs. I am sorry it came to this, but I second RM, use that time to take a break, grieve, or whatever you need to do.
  6. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    sorry to hear this but not too overly suprised. I was hoping the day program would be a beginning for her. Sounds like she is building a strong case. Hope the funding comes through if that is what everyone feels is best for her. You don't think she will feel this is another abandonment do you? Just wondering out loud how she will process being "taken" away from you.

  7. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    She will definitely feel abandoned. kt will have to believe that I'm still here in town....in the same house & we will be working on stability not out of home placement when she is "better".

    It's typical of a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kid to push themselves out of a home ~ I've been expecting it from kt. She's started to become physically aggressive with PCAs; we'll see how it goes with Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker.

    I've already spoken with day treatment this morning. Besides kt being unstable & making unsafe decisions/choices she is putting the entire household at risk by handing out personal information to complete strangers. It's gotten very ugly over the last 2 weeks.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Linda -

    Just thinking of you and your Tweedles. Hugs


    ps - I did have a thought - Maybe telling KT that the house remodeling IS for her to come home and enjoy living with you. Dude finally said in a session that he was always worried when we remodeled that we were fixing the house up to sell and MOVE and leave him behind. I guess from a kids point of view - I could see that, but he never said anything - just exploded one day. Oddly enough now it IS a reality - I want out of here - but....he's 18 and more stable. Still he doesn't want to talk about the remodeling at ALL. Just some insight that may help.

  9. Janna

    Janna New Member

    I'm very sorry to hear this, Linda. I, too, am going through the same (Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) - not necessarily all the same issues).

    I hope you're able to find a good placement for kt. That, in itself, is a huge task.

    Sending gentle hugs.
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, Linda. Fingers crossed that a place opens up for her soon.
  11. Rannveig

    Rannveig Member

    I am so sorry, Linda. Having read your posts over the months and years I feel nothing but respect for you as well as for your kids.

    I hope it is not insensitive to say that "No, you :censored2:," does not sound like a completely inappropriate response to me. As a depression sufferer I've been asked the same question as kt a lot in my time, and I find it so rote and patronizing as to be offensive. I tend to feel like saying, "If I had something like that in mind, do you think I'd TELL you?" Kt always sounds very likable to me, and she seems to have an inner strength that is partly innate and partly from your mothering.

    Belated condolences on the death of your husband, and best wishes for continued fortitude and courage as you see kt (and wm and yourself) through this difficult period.

  12. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm sorry to hear this, Linda. I'm sorry for the extra burden on your grieving heart. I'm sorry for kt that she is struggling so. It has to be so scary for her.

  13. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I'm sorry that Kt has gotten to this point but at the same time, it sounds like it will be beneficial for her in the long run. For both of you actually. And I third RM....situation aside, I think you could really use this time for yourself. Because of the circumstances, your focus has been on pretty much everyone but yourself. Not that that is a bad thing, it was needed. But....At some point, you were going to need time for YOU and this sounds like it. Kt will be safe and getting the support/treatment she needs right now and you will have far less to deal with on a daily basis, leaving you time to focus on you. Kind of a blessing in disguise I guess.

    The few times that difficult child visited bio family in the summer when he was younger and even the times he was in our local juvie facility....I loved it. We knew where he was, he was safe, fed and warm but at the same time....we got a break and were able to decompress and recharge a bit. That was under what I would call normal circumstances so with the situation in your life right now, I would say some Linda time is long overdue. Is it a desired situation? No but you take what you can get.

    Sending hugs friend. Just do us all a favor and carry your phone with you ORRRRR......maybe use a cane even when walking around the house. Just as a precautionary measure. Personally, I don't want to hear about any more falls, ok? ;)
  14. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Linda many hugs.........
    I truly, hope, and pray that kt can somehow pull out of this.
    For her & for you.
    She is so strong, she will overcome this Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), somehow, someway.
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Poor kt bug. :( I've been praying extra hard for the tweedles knowing this has got to be affecting the progress they've made. I'll be praying hard kt will be able to pull out of this.

    I think Star had a valuable insight. While kt has grown up so very much, there is still a very scared little girl tucked away inside her. Moving might make her afraid you're going to give up on her. Kids can get reality awfully twisted when they're scared.

    Sending extra big (((hugs))) for you.
  16. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry. I know this must me so hard. I hope this stay for kt is especially helpful. I am continuing my prayers for your entire family. You are always in my thoughts.
  17. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    I am so sorry, for both of you. I second what's been offered, take time for you, now. You've had such a heavy load this last couple of years.
  18. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I'll say it again ~ kt will feel abandoned. I'm aware of that. I'm deeply aware of that. AND there is nothing I can do as she is making some very poor unsafe choices for herself & in turn, myself.

    kt will have to believe or not believe she isn't being abandoned. I know that deep inside is a very scared little girl; she will not let us help that scared little girl. That very same scared little girl is out & about on a regular basis & putting herself at risk. There is a huge need for stability here.

    I don't mean to sound defensive & I always take into account your wisdom & suggestions. The abandonment thing haunts me on a regular basis when it comes to wm ~ now it's kt. I've fought an uphill battle with the tweedles for 8 years. Hate Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) - absolutely hate it.
  19. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending hugs and support, Linda. I'm sorry that it's come to this, but am hopeful that kt will pull out of it and you two will be reunited again soon.

    In the meantime, do take time to heal yourself. Hugs~