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looooooong rant
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<blockquote data-quote="totoro" data-source="post: 58864" data-attributes="member: 3155"><p>Oh the joys of our little 6yo's... I love everyone's ideas. I have tried charts a bit but have not had to much luck... I think for N it might work when she is a bit older. Maybe? </p><p>K is not able to stay in the moment or interested in them long enough for them to ever work. I would have to remind her every couple of minutes... </p><p>But she really does want to to be good and is so smart that she will argue details with us as well. </p><p>I am finding that brief discussions with her when she is calm has been helping, I act out how she acted, which makes her laugh and say "What if Mommy did that when she was upset?" Or when I want something? I ask her if she would like me to destroy things, or scream and yell, refuse to do things she asked me? I throw myself on the floor, I will act these out a bit dramatic. She thinks it is funny, but it makes her think and she says sorry and that she doesn't like acting that way. </p><p></p><p>I also am learning to not engage her when she becomes elevated, I tell her I will not talk to her when she is like that. It isn't good for her or me and it makes me sad...when she can use calm, nice words we can talk. </p><p>If she wants to destroy her room I let her... but she loses something important. I am not big on punishment for her because she really is unable most times to control her mind, but I am seeing her work on slowing down her reactions, and thinking about her actions.</p><p></p><p>Of course this will all change in the morning and I will have to think of a totally new plan!!! LOL</p><p></p><p>Good luck</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="totoro, post: 58864, member: 3155"] Oh the joys of our little 6yo's... I love everyone's ideas. I have tried charts a bit but have not had to much luck... I think for N it might work when she is a bit older. Maybe? K is not able to stay in the moment or interested in them long enough for them to ever work. I would have to remind her every couple of minutes... But she really does want to to be good and is so smart that she will argue details with us as well. I am finding that brief discussions with her when she is calm has been helping, I act out how she acted, which makes her laugh and say "What if Mommy did that when she was upset?" Or when I want something? I ask her if she would like me to destroy things, or scream and yell, refuse to do things she asked me? I throw myself on the floor, I will act these out a bit dramatic. She thinks it is funny, but it makes her think and she says sorry and that she doesn't like acting that way. I also am learning to not engage her when she becomes elevated, I tell her I will not talk to her when she is like that. It isn't good for her or me and it makes me sad...when she can use calm, nice words we can talk. If she wants to destroy her room I let her... but she loses something important. I am not big on punishment for her because she really is unable most times to control her mind, but I am seeing her work on slowing down her reactions, and thinking about her actions. Of course this will all change in the morning and I will have to think of a totally new plan!!! LOL Good luck [/QUOTE]
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