difficult child is moving to New Hampshire with Monkeyboy to go live at his loser friend's house. They all feel that if they were away from their 'crowd' of friends here that they would be more inclined to find jobs. Their friend told them that they are more than welcome to stay with him as long as they chip in for food, utilities and rent. At first, difficult child told me MB was moving. Then she threw a hissy fit up at easy child apt last night because we wouldn't drive the 2 1/2 hours to pick her up and bring her back for a going away party her friend's were throwing her and MB. Of course, while she was hissying all over the place, the party was just for MB. But in her anger she finally grew the cohones to tell us that she was moving also. H and I realize a couple of things in this: A) we're so detached that we are willing to kick in for bus fare for her to actually make good on her threat, B) this move will likely never come to pass, and C) if it does, she will be back in no time, just like always. In her email informing me of her plans, she also described her undying love for MB...gag me! Again, "I know you will think this is a bad idea, but I actually think it might be okay and if it's not I can come home".... I told her all the usual jazz, without bringing MB into it much at all. I also told her that our home did not have a "vacancy" sign out front nor is it a flophouse where she can land when there is nowhere else for her to go. Also, that while we will support her when she makes an effort to help herself become a respectable self sufficient young adult, we cannot condone this move with MB. Blah blah blah, right? I copied exh so I didn't have to repeat it all and he could see her bogus email straight up. Anyways, exh gets p!$$ed at me! He says he doesnt' have the answer but that I'm wrong for letting her go....letting??? her go??? WTH. He then goes on to tell me that I had better let her know she can come home and to not ruin the lines of communication and that we need to learn how to speak with one another without yelling and that all she wants is for me to listen. Well, I kind of sort of lost it and sent him a scathing email. While he's been on a life long vacation from parenting, I've been the one handling things...and if I do say so myself, I've done an excellent, far superior job that many parents I know. Ahem. I do not want to be in a fight and told him so. I took out the part about his being on vacation from parenting, but I DID give him a brief snapshot of what our lives have been like living with difficult child, up and including her hitting me two weeks ago and throwing a huge bottle of juice at me, missing and almost killing easy child's pup. I also included how the stress and trauma affected easy child and my health - everything. I didn't mince words, but I was not yelling or defending myself. I was just telling it like it is. I'm done. She's got to do what she's got to do. I reminded him of all the ways in which we've tried to help difficult child, all that we've offered and the many times we've pointed her in the right direction. She doesn't want that, she is the one who doesn't listen. I told him that if he can find the magic whatever it is to make her snap to attention and get her life on track, then more power to him. Congratulations, exh, it's a girl and she's 5'3" weighing in at 105 lbs. Where shall we put the crib? On an up note: easy child is graduating on Thursday with her associates. I am so proud of her and happy for her and I know she's worked really hard for this. I am going to that graduation, where exh and difficult child will also be, and I'm planting a smile on my face and I'm going to stand up tall and know that I had a hand in helping easy child become the wonderful woman she has grown into. I will not allow difficult child to ruin yet another family occasion. If she wants to wallow in self pity, she can do it in the car.