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Losing my mind
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 554879" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Eliza, </p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry things are like they are for KK and you........and your daughter. I think when we get emotional in situations about babies, sometimes we forget that even though our kids bring the pain, as lame as it sounds in a way they are victims too - because seriously WHO in their right minds behaves like this - thus not having a right mind and making poor choice after poor choice makes them victims as well. IT doesnt excuse them - but as a parent? It certainly makes you divided in how you have to look at the sitation. You feel sorry for the baby, your child and yourself. Who do you take care of first? If you don't take care of yourself first? There will be no one there to take care of the baby. Sounds selfish, but it's a fact of life. And if no one takes care of your daughter then you get constantly bombarded with HER anger, and resentment because while we'd like to think that telling them to take a hike works - and in some cases it does - their actions regardless of HOW society handles them - STILL affect our heart, and minds and wear on us mentally. I can detach from all my sons antics and get involved elsewhere, and get into therapy, and pray.......but no one can turn off the Mom button in me. It's a process that requires constant constant practice and balance and it's very hard and somedays it works and other days - I have life like no one else I know (except for perhaps a few families here that I'm glad share my pain because without them knowing what we go through I'd be crazy - for real crazy)- NO ONE lives life like this and says - OH JOY-----this is fun. (well not unless they get extra pills in a cup and have craft class and nooooo responsibilities and their fav o rite jello for lunch - but I'm pretty sure when you're at that level? You're in a gown with no back and no unnerpants (actually now that I typed it.....doesn't sound bad as long as it were black cherry jello) </p><p></p><p>I think the atty is a good Idea but from where I sit every day? I would go to the police station and ask for an appointment with a #1........like the top dog. I would tell him that YOU need to know in HIS professional opinion as a parent........WHAT it is that constitutes child endangerment, that violates child welfare laws........and what proof you would need to present to officers at any given time that would be WRITTEN IN A REPORT.....(because just because they show up doesn't mean they write a report you have to ASK THEM TO WRITE A REPORT) would help you to get your daughter before a judge or a family court judge to get custody temporary or otherwise......so you could either get HER help court ordered or otherwise for the sake of KK. You are going to have to ask a police man what language to they need to hear, what acts to they need to see in order to make a charge STICK.........and get something on PAPER.......to take TO AN ATTORNEY to take TO A JUDGE.......to get you and your family help. </p><p></p><p>By language I mean.........legalese from the police point of view.....Sometimes lawyers and police doin't communicate to each other what is needed ........</p><p></p><p>For example........Women call every day to say "so and so my ex boyfriend is back at my house and I need a trespass warrant how do I do that? I've called the police about him three or four times coming to my house." Okay so you would think that if she has had the police out to her house that many times and made a bold statement he is bothering her -----the man would LEGALLY understand to leave her alone. He's been told by her, he's been told by the landlord, he's been told by police. Right? LOOPHOLE. Legally? He hasn't been. Legally she needed to have TWO reports. Well WHAT? She's called police FOUR times? Well she never ASKED for a report. She just called. (OMG are you srious?) She had to ask for a written report? Yup. Loophole. And depending on the length of time it's been since he's been at her home......she may or may not be able to use one of those last times to obtain a written report from or she may have to wait until he shows up again, THEN.......take those two written reports down to the magistrate, wait for her turn in court........in front of the m agistrate......and ask for a no trespass or peace bond order which is now a legal peace of paper that states no matter where she is HE can't come within 500 feet of her -------and he is served with this paper also telling him ------do not come within 500 feet of her........(legal loophole closed).......does it mean he will stay away? (shrug)_but what it does mean is that if he comes near her and witnesses see him?? He will be arrested for trespass and go to jail legally. </p><p></p><p>It's goofy - but lots of laws are........and that's the LANGUAGE of the law. and that's what you have to figure out with your daughter.......what do I need her to do........and then have it written up......and take to a judge, and how many times that says..........she is not taking care of this child that puts ME as guardian? WHAT DO YOU NEED COURT PEOPLE......what do I need to bring to you from the police that says.......SHE IS NOT FIT? and how many and in what form? I swear it's like speaking a foreign language that they pretend they want us all to know for the safety of the c hildren =======but dont' tell us when it comes right down to it so that there are rights for parents who have the parenting skiills of drunken stoned babboons......and ch ildren die and then we get blamed and Nancy Grace makes millions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 554879, member: 4964"] Eliza, I'm so sorry things are like they are for KK and you........and your daughter. I think when we get emotional in situations about babies, sometimes we forget that even though our kids bring the pain, as lame as it sounds in a way they are victims too - because seriously WHO in their right minds behaves like this - thus not having a right mind and making poor choice after poor choice makes them victims as well. IT doesnt excuse them - but as a parent? It certainly makes you divided in how you have to look at the sitation. You feel sorry for the baby, your child and yourself. Who do you take care of first? If you don't take care of yourself first? There will be no one there to take care of the baby. Sounds selfish, but it's a fact of life. And if no one takes care of your daughter then you get constantly bombarded with HER anger, and resentment because while we'd like to think that telling them to take a hike works - and in some cases it does - their actions regardless of HOW society handles them - STILL affect our heart, and minds and wear on us mentally. I can detach from all my sons antics and get involved elsewhere, and get into therapy, and pray.......but no one can turn off the Mom button in me. It's a process that requires constant constant practice and balance and it's very hard and somedays it works and other days - I have life like no one else I know (except for perhaps a few families here that I'm glad share my pain because without them knowing what we go through I'd be crazy - for real crazy)- NO ONE lives life like this and says - OH JOY-----this is fun. (well not unless they get extra pills in a cup and have craft class and nooooo responsibilities and their fav o rite jello for lunch - but I'm pretty sure when you're at that level? You're in a gown with no back and no unnerpants (actually now that I typed it.....doesn't sound bad as long as it were black cherry jello) I think the atty is a good Idea but from where I sit every day? I would go to the police station and ask for an appointment with a #1........like the top dog. I would tell him that YOU need to know in HIS professional opinion as a parent........WHAT it is that constitutes child endangerment, that violates child welfare laws........and what proof you would need to present to officers at any given time that would be WRITTEN IN A REPORT.....(because just because they show up doesn't mean they write a report you have to ASK THEM TO WRITE A REPORT) would help you to get your daughter before a judge or a family court judge to get custody temporary or otherwise......so you could either get HER help court ordered or otherwise for the sake of KK. You are going to have to ask a police man what language to they need to hear, what acts to they need to see in order to make a charge STICK.........and get something on PAPER.......to take TO AN ATTORNEY to take TO A JUDGE.......to get you and your family help. By language I mean.........legalese from the police point of view.....Sometimes lawyers and police doin't communicate to each other what is needed ........ For example........Women call every day to say "so and so my ex boyfriend is back at my house and I need a trespass warrant how do I do that? I've called the police about him three or four times coming to my house." Okay so you would think that if she has had the police out to her house that many times and made a bold statement he is bothering her -----the man would LEGALLY understand to leave her alone. He's been told by her, he's been told by the landlord, he's been told by police. Right? LOOPHOLE. Legally? He hasn't been. Legally she needed to have TWO reports. Well WHAT? She's called police FOUR times? Well she never ASKED for a report. She just called. (OMG are you srious?) She had to ask for a written report? Yup. Loophole. And depending on the length of time it's been since he's been at her home......she may or may not be able to use one of those last times to obtain a written report from or she may have to wait until he shows up again, THEN.......take those two written reports down to the magistrate, wait for her turn in court........in front of the m agistrate......and ask for a no trespass or peace bond order which is now a legal peace of paper that states no matter where she is HE can't come within 500 feet of her -------and he is served with this paper also telling him ------do not come within 500 feet of her........(legal loophole closed).......does it mean he will stay away? (shrug)_but what it does mean is that if he comes near her and witnesses see him?? He will be arrested for trespass and go to jail legally. It's goofy - but lots of laws are........and that's the LANGUAGE of the law. and that's what you have to figure out with your daughter.......what do I need her to do........and then have it written up......and take to a judge, and how many times that says..........she is not taking care of this child that puts ME as guardian? WHAT DO YOU NEED COURT PEOPLE......what do I need to bring to you from the police that says.......SHE IS NOT FIT? and how many and in what form? I swear it's like speaking a foreign language that they pretend they want us all to know for the safety of the c hildren =======but dont' tell us when it comes right down to it so that there are rights for parents who have the parenting skiills of drunken stoned babboons......and ch ildren die and then we get blamed and Nancy Grace makes millions. [/QUOTE]
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