Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Lost- I want to help my parents, but I don't know what to do....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 416413" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>(((hugs)))</p><p></p><p>And welcome to the board.</p><p></p><p>It's a shame for all the effort your dad and step mom are putting in to your SB, that it's all for nothing at this point. That doctor was right. If SB refuses to talk and has no desire to change, he's not going to change. No one or nothing will make him. It has to come from him. </p><p></p><p>It's sadder still that all the "help" that your parents are giving him is only making it worse. As long as he has no real consequences to face for his actions, there is absolutely no reason for him to change. Why should he? If all he cares about is himself......and that certainly seems to be the case....then he's doing just fine and dandy the way things are because there is someone there to make it better for him. </p><p></p><p>It can be really difficult to get parents to understand that parenting their adult child is not the same as parenting when they're young. Once they're grown you no longer have any control over their behavior.......from the day they turn 18 it's all up to them. </p><p></p><p>I guess if I were in your shoes I'd try the "obviously what you've been doing is not working" approach, so maybe its time to try something new. Or ask them would they tolerate the same behaviors from a stranger or friend of the family? Sometimes as parents you get so caught up in the groove of behaviors you lose perspective on the whole situation and someone pointing things out like that can shake you up enough to make you step back and look at it differently.</p><p></p><p>As parents of grown kids, most of us have learned that our kids having to face the natural consequences for their behaviors teaches far better lessons than we can. Of course your parents love him and want to help him ect. </p><p></p><p>Is there a chance fear may be playing a part in their behaviors? Could he be intimidating them to some degree to where they are afraid to rock the boat and draw a line in the sand?</p><p></p><p>When there is a difficult child in the family it's not just hard on the parents, but the whole family. I'm glad you found us.</p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 416413, member: 84"] (((hugs))) And welcome to the board. It's a shame for all the effort your dad and step mom are putting in to your SB, that it's all for nothing at this point. That doctor was right. If SB refuses to talk and has no desire to change, he's not going to change. No one or nothing will make him. It has to come from him. It's sadder still that all the "help" that your parents are giving him is only making it worse. As long as he has no real consequences to face for his actions, there is absolutely no reason for him to change. Why should he? If all he cares about is himself......and that certainly seems to be the case....then he's doing just fine and dandy the way things are because there is someone there to make it better for him. It can be really difficult to get parents to understand that parenting their adult child is not the same as parenting when they're young. Once they're grown you no longer have any control over their behavior.......from the day they turn 18 it's all up to them. I guess if I were in your shoes I'd try the "obviously what you've been doing is not working" approach, so maybe its time to try something new. Or ask them would they tolerate the same behaviors from a stranger or friend of the family? Sometimes as parents you get so caught up in the groove of behaviors you lose perspective on the whole situation and someone pointing things out like that can shake you up enough to make you step back and look at it differently. As parents of grown kids, most of us have learned that our kids having to face the natural consequences for their behaviors teaches far better lessons than we can. Of course your parents love him and want to help him ect. Is there a chance fear may be playing a part in their behaviors? Could he be intimidating them to some degree to where they are afraid to rock the boat and draw a line in the sand? When there is a difficult child in the family it's not just hard on the parents, but the whole family. I'm glad you found us. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Lost- I want to help my parents, but I don't know what to do....
Top