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Parent Emeritus
Lost- I want to help my parents, but I don't know what to do....
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 416949" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>I think the fact that a stepfather loves his s son that he will put himself out over and over to help this troubled adult child speaks volumes of what a wonderful man he is. Usually most of us with our own children have started to detach. Having the support of other parents through this site helps us feel stronger and to lose the shame of such a troubled child. At what point will the parents realize they are going to go down with the ship? No one knows. They may never realize what they are doing to themselves, their other children, grandchildren. They are robbing them of a full life to continue to enable difficult child. The saying "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results" fits here. </p><p>Your parents need information and support to make the best decisions for the family unit.</p><p>Write a letter to your parents about how you feel, how you feel afraid and cheated. Once you go over the letter and fine tune, then read it to them. Leave the letter for them to re read and then move on.</p><p>You can not dictate what your parents choose to do but giving them a loving view of how you feel is the best way to get them to understand. Their kindness is misguided. The most loving thing they can do is hold s son accountable and get him to the right treatment. Then they have to distance themselves. Doesn't mean they don't love him and don't give productive healthy support but they don't tie themselves to the ship that is determined to go down. He will seek treatment, end up in jail,or live a marginal life. Not all children grow up to be productive, law abiding, tax paying, independent citizens. Unfortunately.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 416949, member: 3"] I think the fact that a stepfather loves his s son that he will put himself out over and over to help this troubled adult child speaks volumes of what a wonderful man he is. Usually most of us with our own children have started to detach. Having the support of other parents through this site helps us feel stronger and to lose the shame of such a troubled child. At what point will the parents realize they are going to go down with the ship? No one knows. They may never realize what they are doing to themselves, their other children, grandchildren. They are robbing them of a full life to continue to enable difficult child. The saying "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results" fits here. Your parents need information and support to make the best decisions for the family unit. Write a letter to your parents about how you feel, how you feel afraid and cheated. Once you go over the letter and fine tune, then read it to them. Leave the letter for them to re read and then move on. You can not dictate what your parents choose to do but giving them a loving view of how you feel is the best way to get them to understand. Their kindness is misguided. The most loving thing they can do is hold s son accountable and get him to the right treatment. Then they have to distance themselves. Doesn't mean they don't love him and don't give productive healthy support but they don't tie themselves to the ship that is determined to go down. He will seek treatment, end up in jail,or live a marginal life. Not all children grow up to be productive, law abiding, tax paying, independent citizens. Unfortunately. [/QUOTE]
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Lost- I want to help my parents, but I don't know what to do....
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