Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Loving Detachment
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="emotionallybankrupt" data-source="post: 372857" data-attributes="member: 8226"><p>I've been thinking a lot about that over the past few weeks. I think that we parents may go through a process that has some parallels to addiction. Having to hit "rock bottom" before being able to turn it around. "Rock bottom" isn't the same for everybody, and it's a very individual process getting there. Definitely the physical threats and getting to the point that I believed she was capable of carrying them out spurred my process. The overall drive to survive myself, and knowing I really had to! Giving up was not an option, because I have another child who needs me! I also think most parents have to go around "the circle" a few times before being able to detach in a healthy way. "Helping," seeing that help be completely ineffective for difficult child while sapping every bit of energy you have, difficult child hits a new low, you think maybe they've finally "got it" and so you "help again," etc. Finally you see that maybe the only hope for difficult child is to do something different and bold, and you save yourself in the meantime. The guilt isn't there, because everything else imagineable has been tried and checked off the list, maybe more than once. I think that sums up my experience pretty well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="emotionallybankrupt, post: 372857, member: 8226"] I've been thinking a lot about that over the past few weeks. I think that we parents may go through a process that has some parallels to addiction. Having to hit "rock bottom" before being able to turn it around. "Rock bottom" isn't the same for everybody, and it's a very individual process getting there. Definitely the physical threats and getting to the point that I believed she was capable of carrying them out spurred my process. The overall drive to survive myself, and knowing I really had to! Giving up was not an option, because I have another child who needs me! I also think most parents have to go around "the circle" a few times before being able to detach in a healthy way. "Helping," seeing that help be completely ineffective for difficult child while sapping every bit of energy you have, difficult child hits a new low, you think maybe they've finally "got it" and so you "help again," etc. Finally you see that maybe the only hope for difficult child is to do something different and bold, and you save yourself in the meantime. The guilt isn't there, because everything else imagineable has been tried and checked off the list, maybe more than once. I think that sums up my experience pretty well. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Loving Detachment
Top