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Loving Detachment
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 372892" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I agree. This is the idea behind the concept of "codependency." It's why Al-anon has their own 12 steps. We become so enmeshed in the lives our our difficult children, that our own emotions get mixed up with theirs.. empathy turns to codependency. Our happiness becomes dependent on their happiness, and conversely, their unhappiness tends to make us unhappy. I don't mean the normal unhappiness when you see your child hurting, all parents feel that. I mean we become depressed and stressed over their unhappiness, especially when they seem to be doing nothing to change themselves. It doesn't have t be that way, and untangling that mess takes a lot of practice. It's why I think a support group of some kind can be really important, especially if you're dealing with a difficult child who has some addiction tendencies. Loving detachment takes practice... and more practice. It doesn't happen over night. It took me years, and I did a lot of reading, and had a lot of therapy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 372892, member: 1157"] I agree. This is the idea behind the concept of "codependency." It's why Al-anon has their own 12 steps. We become so enmeshed in the lives our our difficult children, that our own emotions get mixed up with theirs.. empathy turns to codependency. Our happiness becomes dependent on their happiness, and conversely, their unhappiness tends to make us unhappy. I don't mean the normal unhappiness when you see your child hurting, all parents feel that. I mean we become depressed and stressed over their unhappiness, especially when they seem to be doing nothing to change themselves. It doesn't have t be that way, and untangling that mess takes a lot of practice. It's why I think a support group of some kind can be really important, especially if you're dealing with a difficult child who has some addiction tendencies. Loving detachment takes practice... and more practice. It doesn't happen over night. It took me years, and I did a lot of reading, and had a lot of therapy. [/QUOTE]
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