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<blockquote data-quote="7jewels" data-source="post: 373119"><p>dishcat,</p><p>We are in same boat; my hubby and I have an adopted difficult child 19 out of house and making very sad, bad decisions. I am new to this forum but wanted to tell you that your posting made me feel not "so alone". It's been two months since I last saw difficult child, and I haven't even texted her in 2-3 weeks; but I'm in a deeper, healthier detachment now and truly enjoying my OWN life and my other (six) children. I try not to get "the guilts" about what I did right or wrong in raising difficult child; most was really good if I'm honest with myself.... we gave her a love-filled, family-filled, faith-filled, awesome, amazing 18 years (even through the teens with cutting, anorexia, manipulation, etc.)!! Whatever it is that hurts her and makes her want to rebel and hurt herself and US has convinced her to ABANDON her wonderful life. I fluctuate between HOPE and DESPAIR that she will ever find us again. She has given up private university scholarships, doting grandparents, a 3-year-old brother that sings little songs about her daily, a "mother" (me, not bio, but stronger than that) with whom she has always felt a deep spiritual connection, a wonderful and healthy and non-dysfunctional father ..... for what? Trash, drugs, poverty, self-pity. Hard to understand, but I DO detach 98% of each day. I laugh again, I play and cook and work and golf and read again. Sorry for the rambling. This is a nice site! Love to all of you in our situation.</p><p>D.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="7jewels, post: 373119"] dishcat, We are in same boat; my hubby and I have an adopted difficult child 19 out of house and making very sad, bad decisions. I am new to this forum but wanted to tell you that your posting made me feel not "so alone". It's been two months since I last saw difficult child, and I haven't even texted her in 2-3 weeks; but I'm in a deeper, healthier detachment now and truly enjoying my OWN life and my other (six) children. I try not to get "the guilts" about what I did right or wrong in raising difficult child; most was really good if I'm honest with myself.... we gave her a love-filled, family-filled, faith-filled, awesome, amazing 18 years (even through the teens with cutting, anorexia, manipulation, etc.)!! Whatever it is that hurts her and makes her want to rebel and hurt herself and US has convinced her to ABANDON her wonderful life. I fluctuate between HOPE and DESPAIR that she will ever find us again. She has given up private university scholarships, doting grandparents, a 3-year-old brother that sings little songs about her daily, a "mother" (me, not bio, but stronger than that) with whom she has always felt a deep spiritual connection, a wonderful and healthy and non-dysfunctional father ..... for what? Trash, drugs, poverty, self-pity. Hard to understand, but I DO detach 98% of each day. I laugh again, I play and cook and work and golf and read again. Sorry for the rambling. This is a nice site! Love to all of you in our situation. D. [/QUOTE]
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