buddy
New Member
Oh, can't wait for this emotional wave to go by…usually hits me for a few days a month but doesn't seem like it could be time again so I am thinking I am just too stressed. I am typically super calm and can deal better internally than I have been doing the past week thru today....so sorry for the drama everyone
Ok situation one for this thread…
the GOOD NEWS: School has recruited about 7 eighth graders to do some social skills training with difficult child. They sent a letter home (generic stating a 'special needs child' and some of the issues. Two of the parents even wrote letters thanking them for the opportunity…funny, we will see if any of them gets hurt.) But so far the kiddos are super excited. Keep bugging mr Admin-sp.ed. for their turn. They are going to do it systematically because he has had such issues with large groups. I gave permission to share basic etiology info and what to expect kinds of things (nothing so personal as his social background etc… The kids all had to agree to confidentiality and respect and are being told they could be in a great deal of trouble if they ever break this.
First couple of meetings have gone well. He is excited. In general he has been interested in hanging out with kids all summer as I mentioned before so it might be prime time to take advantage. But he is like a new born learning to walk…he will stumble.
Now, the ISSUE: So now he is pumped and a little more confident. Instead of sitting at his normal 'special needs kids' table in lunch he is moving around to where he knows other kids will sit (he goes first to lunch because he runs and bashes thru kids so they at least stopped consequencing that and just got rid of the issue. )
Sometimes the kids just don't sit with him so HE moves….(obviously doesn't get the unwritten rule that once you sit in a spot you sit there for the rest of your LIFE). Sometimes they get up and move away from him. So today about 5 random boys sat by him. MR administrator for sp. needs. Sees them cracking up and finds out difficult child is swearing and they are all laughing. Mr. A-sp.needs says to me that he told difficult child that all kids get in trouble for swearing…I respectfully laugh, NO THEY DON'T…they just know better than to get caught! I hear them in the halls and outside…many of them swear. But again, that is my son's issue, very very clueless and super reinforced by the attention (very lonely kid, just can't figure out the friend thing on his own). Mr A clues the boys in so they know just to say that is not appropriate, and when the attention stops, difficult child throws his apple across the room to try to hit the trash can. MR Principal and VP are standing there. Mr P tells mr A to take difficult child out and he can't eat in the lunch room for the rest of the week.
OK fine, this consequence is good-he is not being kicked out of school or classes, and it is logical. We have to keep trying so fine. But, as usual he wont learn anything that stops it in the future, because there is always a new impulsive behavior,esp when he is seizuring and it seems he was head down sleepy and headache happening again after tons of impulse behavior..also complaining about body aches/head on and off all day…same stuff as what happens and shows when the eeg says seizure. Good thing we are gonna see doctor soon and start the new medication. But honestly….mr A who is on the planning meeting team for the BIP KNEW this kid has NEVER been in that situation before. It is too much too soon. There was no para like there is usually. So mr A is supposed to be running the behavior plan. They let it go too far. So he was set up for failure again. We had this other plan started, and they could have arranged for those kids to sit with him. Now after the meeting today that is what is going to happen but I just get so frustrated when he has to pay for adult mistakes.
Ok situation one for this thread…
the GOOD NEWS: School has recruited about 7 eighth graders to do some social skills training with difficult child. They sent a letter home (generic stating a 'special needs child' and some of the issues. Two of the parents even wrote letters thanking them for the opportunity…funny, we will see if any of them gets hurt.) But so far the kiddos are super excited. Keep bugging mr Admin-sp.ed. for their turn. They are going to do it systematically because he has had such issues with large groups. I gave permission to share basic etiology info and what to expect kinds of things (nothing so personal as his social background etc… The kids all had to agree to confidentiality and respect and are being told they could be in a great deal of trouble if they ever break this.
First couple of meetings have gone well. He is excited. In general he has been interested in hanging out with kids all summer as I mentioned before so it might be prime time to take advantage. But he is like a new born learning to walk…he will stumble.
Now, the ISSUE: So now he is pumped and a little more confident. Instead of sitting at his normal 'special needs kids' table in lunch he is moving around to where he knows other kids will sit (he goes first to lunch because he runs and bashes thru kids so they at least stopped consequencing that and just got rid of the issue. )
Sometimes the kids just don't sit with him so HE moves….(obviously doesn't get the unwritten rule that once you sit in a spot you sit there for the rest of your LIFE). Sometimes they get up and move away from him. So today about 5 random boys sat by him. MR administrator for sp. needs. Sees them cracking up and finds out difficult child is swearing and they are all laughing. Mr. A-sp.needs says to me that he told difficult child that all kids get in trouble for swearing…I respectfully laugh, NO THEY DON'T…they just know better than to get caught! I hear them in the halls and outside…many of them swear. But again, that is my son's issue, very very clueless and super reinforced by the attention (very lonely kid, just can't figure out the friend thing on his own). Mr A clues the boys in so they know just to say that is not appropriate, and when the attention stops, difficult child throws his apple across the room to try to hit the trash can. MR Principal and VP are standing there. Mr P tells mr A to take difficult child out and he can't eat in the lunch room for the rest of the week.
OK fine, this consequence is good-he is not being kicked out of school or classes, and it is logical. We have to keep trying so fine. But, as usual he wont learn anything that stops it in the future, because there is always a new impulsive behavior,esp when he is seizuring and it seems he was head down sleepy and headache happening again after tons of impulse behavior..also complaining about body aches/head on and off all day…same stuff as what happens and shows when the eeg says seizure. Good thing we are gonna see doctor soon and start the new medication. But honestly….mr A who is on the planning meeting team for the BIP KNEW this kid has NEVER been in that situation before. It is too much too soon. There was no para like there is usually. So mr A is supposed to be running the behavior plan. They let it go too far. So he was set up for failure again. We had this other plan started, and they could have arranged for those kids to sit with him. Now after the meeting today that is what is going to happen but I just get so frustrated when he has to pay for adult mistakes.
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