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Lying Stealing Adult Child 2
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 634844" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Absolutely.</p><p></p><p>Life flys past, and health.</p><p></p><p>When we believe we need to handle what is happening to our families, to our marriages, alone, we are constructing a kind of prison with transparent walls.</p><p></p><p>Our mates see us suffer, but we refuse to let them in.</p><p></p><p>That task -- that ability to be, over all others, that one person who can strengthen, comfort, and console you...that is your mate's responsibility and highest honor.</p><p></p><p>The terrible things happening now are not your fault. If there had been some way for you to have seen this coming, you would have moved Heaven and Earth to change it.</p><p></p><p>You didn't know.</p><p></p><p>Take from your mate the strength and comfort only he can give you.</p><p></p><p>Trust him.</p><p></p><p>Believe in him.</p><p></p><p>Don't turn him away.</p><p></p><p>Yes, it's vulnerable. But if we cannot open to those we love, those prison walls will never come down.</p><p></p><p>Open to your husband, and let him open to you. </p><p></p><p>There is strength there, and grief acknowledged, and living warmth.</p><p></p><p>This is a cold, lonely journey. We may not save our children. Along the course of the journey, we find ourselves redefining everything we were so sure we knew.</p><p></p><p>We learn that we possess a kind of strength, a deep and steady compassion for the humanness of our mates and even, for ourselves. </p><p></p><p>This was such a surprise to me!</p><p></p><p>If we allow it, we find and reflect that same inexhaustible strength, that same bottomless well of compassion, without the sting of pity, in our mates.</p><p></p><p>That is a kind of intimacy that makes everything we've shared as we created our lives together pale in comparison.</p><p></p><p>Those reflections back and forth between us forge an unimaginably different relationship between ourselves and our mates. </p><p></p><p>But it requires both strength and vulnerability to insist upon it.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 634844, member: 17461"] Absolutely. Life flys past, and health. When we believe we need to handle what is happening to our families, to our marriages, alone, we are constructing a kind of prison with transparent walls. Our mates see us suffer, but we refuse to let them in. That task -- that ability to be, over all others, that one person who can strengthen, comfort, and console you...that is your mate's responsibility and highest honor. The terrible things happening now are not your fault. If there had been some way for you to have seen this coming, you would have moved Heaven and Earth to change it. You didn't know. Take from your mate the strength and comfort only he can give you. Trust him. Believe in him. Don't turn him away. Yes, it's vulnerable. But if we cannot open to those we love, those prison walls will never come down. Open to your husband, and let him open to you. There is strength there, and grief acknowledged, and living warmth. This is a cold, lonely journey. We may not save our children. Along the course of the journey, we find ourselves redefining everything we were so sure we knew. We learn that we possess a kind of strength, a deep and steady compassion for the humanness of our mates and even, for ourselves. This was such a surprise to me! If we allow it, we find and reflect that same inexhaustible strength, that same bottomless well of compassion, without the sting of pity, in our mates. That is a kind of intimacy that makes everything we've shared as we created our lives together pale in comparison. Those reflections back and forth between us forge an unimaginably different relationship between ourselves and our mates. But it requires both strength and vulnerability to insist upon it. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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