MAD and frustrated!

[susiestar]

This is a vent. I WILL discuss it with husband and the kids, esp the kids, when they return.

They left Friday morning. They will be back sometime late tomorrow, not sure when. husband is off on Wed to have a day to do laundry and recover.

I am disabled. NOT able to lift much or do much. Can't even cook much of the time.

They left the garbage can stuffed to overflowing. I SPECIFICALLY asked to have it and the sink EMPTY when they left. Because I can NOT do it. EVERY freakin dish is dirty. ALL of them. Including a huge heavy pot filled with rice left on the stove. It is a 3 gallon stockpot filled to almost the top. The waste of food appalls me. And there is NO WAY I can even move it to empty the rice into smaller containers. I tried.

I even climbed up and sat on the stove and couldn't manage to empty it out.

They even ate ALL the microwave meals I bought and other easy to eat stuff like yogurt. ALL of them. I bought them on Friday and told the kids to NOT eat them. They had PLENTY of stuff that was easy to make, just not as easy as what I bought. Heck, they ate the leftover pizone thing from pizza hut my dad brought over specially for me - and it was LABELLED with my name and do not eat - grandpa's orders!

I am not even able to clean the litterbox because there are five baskets of laundry in front of it. I have moved some of them, but even just pushing htem is hard on me.

Such simple things - empty the sink of dirty dishes, take out the trash, put food in the fridge. Leave the stuff labelled for MOM alone. At least leave MOST of it alone.

WHY am I stuck here in the sticks with very little I can fix to eat and a trashed kitchen and laundry area? I can't even order pizza because we are too far out for delivery. I haven't called my parents because this is their much needed "alone" time. I am manageing with cereal to eat. Maybe I will cook a frozen pizza if I can wash a cookie sheet tomorrow.

But WHY? I want to know WHY, when they KNOW I can't do things, when this is supposed to be a time for me to not worry about things, and when I specifically ASKED for what I needed, did they leave me like this?

My car doesn't even start, husband KNOWS this. So unless I call a taxi to take me to the store I am STRANDED..

BOY will they know I am unhappy when they return. Esp husband and thank you, who do the litterbox usually. Cause the cats are NOT happy either.

Thanks for leting me vent.

 

[Andy]

Ohhh I would have been so tempted on Friday afternoon to call husband (hope he has a cell phone and answers it) and tell him to get his butt along with some other little butts home NOW!!!!

I feel a good chewing coming on when they get home. When I hear a large roar from your end of the world, I will know why and thank my lucky stars I am not part of your immediate family for the day.

 

[susiestar]

They have not been in cell phone range. The cabin is fairly remote, no service at all there. I have tried. And you WILL hear my wrath. Some of it anyway. Some will be said in that vicious, quiet tone I learned from my mom. And teh cats will be wailing also. They already are somewhat. Luckily none of MY clothes are in the baskets in front of the litterbox. Cause I KNOW the cats will use one of them!

 

[flutterby]

Susie, I so feel your pain. While I am somewhat more able to do those things than you, it causes profound muscle weakness and pain. So, I could move the laundry baskets, then sit down and rest for 30 minutes and still be totally wiped out for the day.

I would be laying into people like nobody's business. *Especially* about eating my food. My kids are very picky about what is theirs and no one else is supposed to touch it. All I ask for is the same with just a couple of items. (Not all of the food is this way - just things that one of us asks for specifically.)

 

[maril]

Ouch. So disappointing that they would leave with the jobs unfinished. I also wouldn't be happy having only cereal to eat.

It would be really nice to hear apologies, see everybody scramble to clean up when they get back, AND when that's all done, to take you out to dinner somewhere special...

 

[Shari]

You can bet they'll have new hineys. And rightfully so.

You go, girl.

 

[AnnieO]

Been there... I am lucky in the fact that I am able to do these things. But when I get home and nothing has been done, they scramble. Because I'll walk in, take one look, and then give them The Look. They know what that means. And I'm not nice about it if they don't move their little tushes.

Used to live in Oklahoma so I'll have an ear to the ground for when they get back. I hope the cats DO on their laundry... Serve them right. Poor puddy tats. However I hope you do not have to smell it.

What else did they leave you for food? I'm pretty good at coming up with "easy and quick" stuff. So you're not stuck with frozen pizza.

 

[BusynMember]

I would be spittin' mad!!! I hope it's a short trip for them and that they are really sorry when they realize what they've done.
On another note, I'm worried about you and hope you are within range of a helpful neighbor if you need one. Maybe you can think of some way to get in touch in situations like this--he can have to go to a regular phone and call you twice a day, for example. Somebody around there must have a regular phone and maybe you could use it...(((hugs)))

 

[everywoman]

They're actions were totally selfish and inappropriate, but try not to let your anger and pride make you even sicker....Call your dad if you need food, you can't live on just cereal.
Is there someone you can call to help with the chores? Do the kids get an allowance---if so, pay the person from their allowances.

 

[susiestar]

I have family I am checking in with twice a day. My phone and cell phone both work. My parents are taking a couple of days to just be by themselves, but I leave a message for my mom at certain times in the morning and evening so she knows I am fine. This is especially important because they changed my medications. New medication changes tend to knock me out, so I am mostly sleeping. Thanks so much for worrying about me. We are praying the new medications will make me able to do more and have less pain.

I have neighbors on one side and across the street that I can call. In an emergency they will help, though we don't know each other well.

I don't mind cereal, and there are a couple of yogurts (or there were until last night!) and they will be home sometime today. I plan to try to call husband or Jessie in a few hours to see what time to expect them home.

Thanks, all of you! It is good to have you supporting me and caring about me!

 

[DammitJanet]

Susie...I so understand. I can do the dishes in very short bursts. It may take me a few days to get them clean but I can do most of them eventually. That large stockpot would be too much though. I couldnt lift it either.

I would be livid about the food. When I am left alone I go get take out to keep me in food. If anyone had eaten my food before they left, omg...I would have killed them. We also have one pizza place that delivers and I have been known to call them if I run out of soda...lol. Expensive yes, but you dont want to see me if I run out of diet coke!

 

[susiestar]

LOL on the delivery of diet coke! I am the same way about regular Coke. Not pepsi. Not rc. Not sam's cola, or any other version. I drink coke. Period. (Or water or coffee or tea, but no other cola/soda)

If we had a place that would deliver out here I would call in a heartbeat. I just thought of it, but if I get desperate sometime today I will call the friend who owns teh pizza place, or the general manager (who I went to high school with and college with and worked with for years) and BEG for them to deliver out here for an increased delivery charge. But they are very expensive. For now I am sleeping so much I am not eating a whole lot. The new muscle relaxer knocks me out. It is why I am calling my mom twice a day. I AM drinking enough water, and will be fine until they get home today. If they end up being gone longer then I will call my mom this evening and tell her I need some food delivered.

Hugs to every one of you!

 

[Hound dog]

They probably did it for the same reason my family expected me to cook dinner every night with 2 broken shoulders.

I have a feeling we'll be hearing Susie's wrath all 'round the country.

Make sure to heap on the guilt while you're at it........I've found the effect lasts longer than anger.

(((hugs))

 

[KTMom91]

Hope you're feeling better!

Now...go get 'em! I have to agree that the guilt thing can work wonders...

 

[Wiped Out]

They deserve a good chewing out! I'm sorry they were so thoughtless! by the way, I'm a fellow Coke drinker, no other soda for me and diet soda-I just can't drink it!

 

[ML]

My blood boiled when I read the state they left you in. How utterly selfish! I am glad they are due home today and they better get started right away on making amends. I wish I lived closer so I could come over to help. Thinking of you, Love ML

 

[susiestar]

Thanks all! They walked in and husband immediately got upset. He was in such a tizzy when they left (usually I make sure everything gets ready and he flutters around uselessly. But since I wasn't going I made him do it all. I did give the kids lists, and check them.)

He hadn't realized all the stuff they left out. Now he is back, and has been to the store. I sent him to the store when he took Wiz home. He got what he could of what they had. Apparently they are out of a lot of stuff, not sure why.

I will update more later. But the kids already spent an HOUR cleaning up, made great progress and are now cooking the pizzas in the newly scrubbed stove. And the flies have all been gotten out, mostly sprayed and then scrubbed away from the counters.

Thanks so much for always being here for me!

 

[Marguerite]

Susie, I fully understand why you're angry.

I have similar problems with disability (although obviously we're all different) and I've developed easier, less messy cooking techniques which I insist on everyone else following also. I can't get you out of this situation, but one of the consequences I would give the whole family is - no more cooking rice on the stove. And NEVER cook it in a large steamer unless you're planning to make rice salad for 100 people!

There are two main ways to cook rice - absorbtion, and rapid-boil. Either one on the stove leaves a gungy saucepan. But absorption, although it takes longer, gives a better result.

I cook rice in the microwave oven, absorption method. Our technique is based on lessons from Chinese chefs plus our own long practice.

Find yourself a microwave-safe container of the size you want. A lid would be nice but is not essential (although preferable). The lid needs to either be loose-fitting or to have a vent. We use the Tupperwave jugs etc for rice, the rounded bottom gives a lovely even result, but my sister uses square casserole dishes and gets the same results.

Now put in the rice. No more than a quarter the way up the container sides or the end result will overflow.

Wet the rice. Wahs it if you want to. But finish with enough water over the top of the rice to immerse to the first knuckle of your index finger. Depending on your own experience and the length of your fingers - I have stubby fingers so I go a mm more. But this will get you closer than most commercial rice cookers.

Put the lid on the dish then (if you can) put in something to catch any overflow (which is likely to be a bit glutinous, this is the easiet way to keep things clean). You can sit it on a big plate. We have made an overflow container from an ice cream coontainer. We just cut out a corner of the ice cream container so the jug handle has somewhere to go. Any boil-over goes into the ice cream container which then just rinses off after cooking.

Now, think about how you cook rice - you bring it to the boil, then simmer it (without stirring) until the rice settles into its own pattern and absorbs every drop of the water. Now do the same with your microwave oven. In other words - cook it on HIGH until it's to boiling point (we do 4 minutes on HIGH) then on a lower heat (MEDIUM or LOW MEDIUM) for about 20 minutes, depending on your quantity. For brown rice I double the simmer time. Yes, brown rice - it works brilliiantly done this way. It needs a little more water - maybe half a knuckle more.

When the microwave oven finishes, get the rice out and check it to see if it's done. Especially if you haven't done tihs before, you might need to adjust cooking time to get it right. But the rice and water quantity should be perfect. It's weird, but works for stovetop cooking as well. If you cook without a lid you may need more water. You WILL need more on the stove if you're cooking without a lid.

All you need for proper Asian rice is rice and water. A lot of people add salt as well - the Chinese (and Indians) do not. But if you prefer it that way then go ahead. We used to cook it with salt but a Chinese friend showed us that it actually takes on other flavours better if you add salt after cooking instead. Or not at all.

If you want to make fried rice, it works best with cooked rice that has gone cold. I do a fried rice with brown rice, I use a non-stick skillet to keep the oil content right down and that way I can enjoy something that tastes wicked but is perfectly OK on my diet.

As for the kids eating the food you got in for you - thye need to know and experience what you went through. Hit them where it hurts - either make them pay for replacements out of their own pocket money, or instead serve them cereal for breakfast, lunch & dinner for two days while listening to recordings of frantic cats and having to smell dirty litter trays!

I always made sure there was food available for my kids to eat, so they had NO EXCUSE for eating something labelled for someone else. If the kids did the wrong thing by me, I would stop going the extra mile for them. They appreciate my buying a packet of their favourite chocolate biscuit? Well not if they scoff the lot before anyone else gets a taste. I won't bother again.

Even if it's something we make ourselves - we ALL have to take turns making more, or it doesn't get made.
Example - difficult child 3 eats the vast majority of the bread in the house. So we've begun insisting that he bake a loaf of bread. husband & I can easily do without, the only person suffering is difficult child 3. I'm happy to talk him through it but we do have a bread machine so it's easy to do.

There must be something thta you do for the family, that they can't get form anyone else. If so - go on strike until the problem is resolved and apologies made.

Go get 'em!

Marg

 

[susiestar]

Thanks marg!!

Just a few months ago I used a TON of coke reward points and got an electric rice steamer for husband. He makes a batch a couple of times a week so he always has some cooked. No matter what is for dinner, husband feels he isn't full if he doesn't have a huge plate overflowing with baked potatoes and cheese and spices or rice and spices. I find it nuts and crazy from a diet standpoint. WAY too much starch and not enough veggies. Not to mention that huge load of starch on your body all at one time. I am talking 4 or 5 cups of rice AFTER what anyone else considers a meal. Or 2 GIANT potatoes, the kind that take 15 or more minutes in the microwave to get even half cooked!

So there was NO reason for the gross pile of rice in that pot except that someone didn't want to clean the pot that goes in the rice cooker. And NO excuse for making that HUGE quantity of rice. Not. ANY.

I like the policy for the bread. I may start that policy. With bread and with rice or potatoes.

 

[Marguerite]

The thing with cooking rice in the microwave - when it finishes, you take it out and fluff it up then put the lid back on to let any residual steam do its work. But the container cleans up with just a wipe out, there is no cooked-on gunk, no problems at all. And if you use plastic containers (or even a glass jug) it's a lot easier for someone limp-wristed like me to lift.

Try to get your husband hooked onto brown rice. It tastes even better than white rice and it's got a lower GI. It's loaded with soluble fibre too, so the absorption method is so much better because you're not draining away all that soluble fibre, it stays with the rice.

Seriously - try the microwave method, it's even easier than using a rice cooker. And a lot easier to clean up.

Marg