made it home

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Feb 3, 2011.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member


    we made it home, i'm happy to say. I'Tourette's Syndrome funny i was soo concerned with how to transition difficult child into home environment i forgot about me. lol

    let's just say it was overwhelming. i was up all night with anxiety. husband has def. made up for his needy overwhelming behavior while i was in oregon.

    stayed up with me all night scratching my head, my back, trying to calm me down. lol

    tonight i'll probably sleep.

    house was clean, yet let's just say i guess due to party easy child had two pictures of husband and i were ruined beer on them, other junk broken. than difficult child yes did a full shut down on dinner with-me. which might of been caused by easy child's complete meltdown during dinner at me totally out of the blue raged at dinner table. easy child now has two empty bottles of malibu and something else in her room that smells like smoke also. unreal..... i get she'll be 18 yet not way things are supposed to be. think she wasn't too happy to see me last night and knew how her life would be go back to me over seeing it now. yet felt so bad for difficult child that she had to walk into easy child melting down like that which lead to her refusing to eat. right away easy child jumped on her about it. wrong move. so husband sat down and talked to easy child last night and told her you cannot do that etc.

    let's just say i have my work cut out for me. :) yet we all knew i would.

    i'm hoping for a much better day today, maybe a nap would be great.

    i gave up sleeping at 7 when i only got two hours. so husband got up and made me coffee and we sat catching up on stuff. than ofcourse easy child missed bus so needed a ride lol so he brought her to school.

    i don't think i was prepared last night to talk into all of it right away. yet maybe it's better the storm hit now i can slowly begin getting things in order, kids and dog included.

    just wanted to let you guys know i'm back :)

    oh and by the way i'm looking online today and joining a local gym and yoga class. husband was shocked i said yup i'm putting me first now. if i'm ok they'll be better. that's the plan at least.
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    glad you made it home and sorry you had a rough night.

    I think it's normal for everyone in the house to readjust - you and difficult child to be back home, and husband and easy child to have you both home.

    Couple thoughts on easy child - you know, it's often very, very difficult for some of our "typical kids" to live with a difficult child - often the focus is so intense on the difficult child, especially in times of true crisis, that they feel lost in the shuffle. Not that they always are, but often they feel that way. There is often resentment, which is understandable from a kid's point of view.

    Some of the issues that easy child has been dealing with lately are typical teen, approaching age of majority, issues. And, some of them sound a little gfgish. I know you are doing your best to refocus on yourself, which is necessary. But I think perhaps you and easy child have to reconnect as well and build back some trust and relationship boundaries. Perhaps taking some time to go to the mall and have lunch this weekend or, if money allows, take in a movie together. It's important that she feel she also has your focus, and not just the anger and disappointment that her current behaviors warrant. Just my two cents.

  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Phew/Whew! I really feared you would get stranded with difficult child for days. What a relief! Has easy child gone to her therapist since you've been gone? May be a good time to double up on that avenue. Glad your husband stepped up to the plate for deserve some pampering. Keep us updated as you go through this transition. I imagine it's going to be a bit rough but thankfully you have some supports on your home agenda. Many hugs. DDD
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Jen, I'm glad you're home... Hugs!
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Glad you made it home! I was worried about you travelling in the storms. Sorry about the drama, but it is pretty typical. Heck, my gfgbro cannot maintain his behavior if my parents are not in town to keep him in line and make sure he only has to care for his child 1-2 of his 3-4 nights of custody per week. He is 43 now, so difficult child isn't doing so bad. She can get a job and earn the $$ to replace what she has broken, and also learn to ride a bicycle to school when she misses the bus. Or pay for the gas to drive ehr to school, plus the time.

    anyway, lots of hugs, do what you can. remember, progress, not perfection!!
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member


    sharon I agree 100 percent. difficult child is going with dad for a bit on saturday so i thought i'd split day between me time and a little time with easy child. she was really out of control last night for sure.

    today breakfast went well i'm glad to say after a whole lotta i'm still sick they made me worse bs all over the board. yet i remained consistent gave zero attention for that and praised her for eating. she is still very slow and using alot of liquids and didn't complete yet its consistent eating for two weeks now which is best we've seen and also the fear is still there. yet as i told difficult child each day you get up and do what your doing it'll subside more.

    behaviorally all her other junk is flying all over the board. typical. husband yes i'm glad he did too. i think that he truly felt bad when he saw the shape i was in, i had lost ten pounds while there and problem just looked tired. so yea he was remorseful for being so incredibly needy and diffiicult while i was away. i was ready to run from him.

    i expect difficult child will be difficult as days are to come, yet my approach here is very different and she knows it. so she returned to a zone that was one way and now i'm slowly making it another way.

    yea with easy child it's gotta be one hand pulling her towards me and loving her and the other disciplining her and giving her structure again., yet let's face it she's 18 in may.i can try my best yet i can't work miracles. :)
  7. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    Nothing really to add to what the others have already said. Just want you to know I'm glad you made it back safely! Also glad you're going to make taking care of yourself a priority too!

    Thinking of you... SFR
  8. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Glad y'all got back home safe, keep us updated!
  9. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I'm glad to hear that you are home.

  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    When does your support group kick in? DDD
  11. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am so glad you made it home safely!

    Good job with the zero attention!