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major development with DS
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 755947" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Beta. This has been my own experience with my son. I am sorry. It is the hardest thing.</p><p>I know you do. As I did. The reality is only a tiny part of this, is in your hands. You know this.</p><p>I love this quote, JP. Do you remember the source?</p><p>It's not delusion, I think, it's love. Is love a delusion? Some might say so. What do you think?</p><p>This is so beautiful newstart. One reason I stopped enabling my son was how it affected me. I was bitter, blaming, punitive and self-righteous. In real life I am none of those things. I had turned into a monster. I don't want to be this person.</p><p></p><p>I believe Josh has used this anger as a defense, against vulnerability., to internal and external stimuli. He has been living a very unstable, insecure lifestyle, where anything could come at him. How can this not have an effect? The need to defend himself against all comers.</p><p></p><p>And as I have said before. I don't believe, in the most basic sense, he has bitterness or anger towards you. There is something happening within him that is frightening him. His own thoughts and feelings. There is he displaces onto you. Without awareness and control he may use the anger in a self-protective way. Not against you, but against this part of himself that he fears so.</p><p>This perseverating comes from whatever mental illness/fragility/poor coping he may be experiencing. It's like a broken record that keeps skipping at the same spot. It's not the real music. It's a groove that's become warped or chipped or even dirty.</p><p></p><p>While I hesitate to write this, ignore or tune out his broken record, as much as you can. I know how hard it is. I tried and tried, and I could not tune it out.</p><p></p><p>I forget. Has he used any kind of substances? Even alcohol or marijuana. My son is in a sober living home run by the Rescue Mission which is a Christian service project in my town. The director is a retired pastor. For people without means it is free, including housing, food, and program. I am not sure if there needs to be substances involved, because they take recently released prisoners too. While I don't think my son does the programs, there is fellowship, bible study, service, and there are workshops to handle the effects of trauma, etc. The program helps the residents connect with community resources, and meet goals.</p><p></p><p>Why not look into the availability of something like this where you are? Josh has voiced he wants to move out as soon as he has the resources. You will soon move. It makes sense to me that he find a program. The other option would be a treatment program of some sort. What do you think?</p><p></p><p>My heart is with you, Beta.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 755947, member: 18958"] Hi Beta. This has been my own experience with my son. I am sorry. It is the hardest thing. I know you do. As I did. The reality is only a tiny part of this, is in your hands. You know this. I love this quote, JP. Do you remember the source? It's not delusion, I think, it's love. Is love a delusion? Some might say so. What do you think? This is so beautiful newstart. One reason I stopped enabling my son was how it affected me. I was bitter, blaming, punitive and self-righteous. In real life I am none of those things. I had turned into a monster. I don't want to be this person. I believe Josh has used this anger as a defense, against vulnerability., to internal and external stimuli. He has been living a very unstable, insecure lifestyle, where anything could come at him. How can this not have an effect? The need to defend himself against all comers. And as I have said before. I don't believe, in the most basic sense, he has bitterness or anger towards you. There is something happening within him that is frightening him. His own thoughts and feelings. There is he displaces onto you. Without awareness and control he may use the anger in a self-protective way. Not against you, but against this part of himself that he fears so. This perseverating comes from whatever mental illness/fragility/poor coping he may be experiencing. It's like a broken record that keeps skipping at the same spot. It's not the real music. It's a groove that's become warped or chipped or even dirty. While I hesitate to write this, ignore or tune out his broken record, as much as you can. I know how hard it is. I tried and tried, and I could not tune it out. I forget. Has he used any kind of substances? Even alcohol or marijuana. My son is in a sober living home run by the Rescue Mission which is a Christian service project in my town. The director is a retired pastor. For people without means it is free, including housing, food, and program. I am not sure if there needs to be substances involved, because they take recently released prisoners too. While I don't think my son does the programs, there is fellowship, bible study, service, and there are workshops to handle the effects of trauma, etc. The program helps the residents connect with community resources, and meet goals. Why not look into the availability of something like this where you are? Josh has voiced he wants to move out as soon as he has the resources. You will soon move. It makes sense to me that he find a program. The other option would be a treatment program of some sort. What do you think? My heart is with you, Beta. [/QUOTE]
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