It's going on five months since difficult child left the house. He's still at his aunt and uncle's place, living the good life. I've spoken with him periodically. His calls come when he needs a parent signature and that is all.
His grades were mailed from the school in June, in which three of his classes fell 1 or 2 full letter grades from the time he left our home. I got a call from one of his teammate's father who told me my son smashed a mirror in his basement and didn't come forward about it. The father confronted him a week later, my son apologized, but offered no explanation. I asked my son about it a month later and he vehemently denied anything got damaged.
I asked about counseling as I do at every opportunity since his aunt said he would "absolutely participate in counseling" if he was going to stay at their house. I was told by my sister that they would take care of it and I was not to be involved. He hadn't gone after four months, in fact, he stated, "Counselors are just in it for the money and don't do any good."
Three weeks ago, my son called asking for signatures for his school sport and league sport. I met him, took the forms, and said, "You've had four months to take care of counseling, so has your aunt. Neither of you have done it. I'm still mom regardless of what you or your aunt think. I'll fill these forms out when I schedule your first appointment. If at anytime you refuse to go, I can't find you, or you aren't participating for any reason, I'll drive to the school and the league and tear up these forms and you will not play this sport in the fall or the spring. Questions?"
He has attended three times so far. I pick him up and take him to each appointment. I have never spoken with the counselor, I could only go with his 20 years experience dealing with male teens. I can only hope that my son is getting the help he needs at this point.
I've completely detached. I used to try to engage in conversation, hoping to hear those words, "Mom, I want to come home." Instead, I've heard, "I need..." I don't see him trying to have a relationship me, his brother, or his step-dad and my expectations have led to my own disappointments.
Now I'm just the driver. I pick him up, sit in the waiting room, and drop him off. I speak when/if spoken to. Last week he got out of the car and slammed the door after a ride home in silence.
Tomorrow's his next appointment. Oh boy.
His grades were mailed from the school in June, in which three of his classes fell 1 or 2 full letter grades from the time he left our home. I got a call from one of his teammate's father who told me my son smashed a mirror in his basement and didn't come forward about it. The father confronted him a week later, my son apologized, but offered no explanation. I asked my son about it a month later and he vehemently denied anything got damaged.
I asked about counseling as I do at every opportunity since his aunt said he would "absolutely participate in counseling" if he was going to stay at their house. I was told by my sister that they would take care of it and I was not to be involved. He hadn't gone after four months, in fact, he stated, "Counselors are just in it for the money and don't do any good."
Three weeks ago, my son called asking for signatures for his school sport and league sport. I met him, took the forms, and said, "You've had four months to take care of counseling, so has your aunt. Neither of you have done it. I'm still mom regardless of what you or your aunt think. I'll fill these forms out when I schedule your first appointment. If at anytime you refuse to go, I can't find you, or you aren't participating for any reason, I'll drive to the school and the league and tear up these forms and you will not play this sport in the fall or the spring. Questions?"
He has attended three times so far. I pick him up and take him to each appointment. I have never spoken with the counselor, I could only go with his 20 years experience dealing with male teens. I can only hope that my son is getting the help he needs at this point.
I've completely detached. I used to try to engage in conversation, hoping to hear those words, "Mom, I want to come home." Instead, I've heard, "I need..." I don't see him trying to have a relationship me, his brother, or his step-dad and my expectations have led to my own disappointments.
Now I'm just the driver. I pick him up, sit in the waiting room, and drop him off. I speak when/if spoken to. Last week he got out of the car and slammed the door after a ride home in silence.
Tomorrow's his next appointment. Oh boy.
