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Male who beat difficult child released to treatment facility...
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 622376" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I think so too, Child. How does that saying go? We are only as strong as our secrets? We are learning, and telling, our secrets here. I think that is why we are able to effect change in ourselves that years of therapy may not have been able to accomplish. That is the true value of this site. We support and heal one another as we come in, and we determine to change and risk and grow and heal as we are here long enough to learn to trust ourselves and each other with those things we have repressed.</p><p></p><p>"Right needs no defense. Just good witness."</p><p></p><p>I don't know who said that, but it rings true for us, here. What we are willing to risk of our own stories, of our own selves, helps us. In helping ourselves, as it turns out, we are helping others. </p><p></p><p>A win for the white, Child.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think the consequences part is a twofold thing, Child. There are the kinds of consequences that might happen, that surely will happen, to the difficult child because we've set a limit they have disregarded. The other kind of consequence is what happens ~ to us, to our kids, to our extended families and even our neighbors ~ when we do not stick to that limit our difficult child's behaviors required us to make. </p><p></p><p>In the first case, bad things can happen to the difficult child who is now homeless. Or maybe, the difficult child will come awake, and change the direction he or she is taking the life they've been blessed with.</p><p></p><p>Bad things will certainly happen to the difficult child <u>and</u> the parents living in a home where the parents talk and talk, but never impose a consequence for breaking the agreement on limits, for breaking the agreement on what fringe behaviors will be tolerated in the homes the parents have created and are responsible for. What atmosphere, what ambiance, will we live with? The chaos, the pointless hatred and seething resentment over nothing real that is the difficult child lifestyle? Or the </p><p>sweetwater feel of a well run home?</p><p></p><p>Two layers of consequences. When you raise a difficult child child, there will always be consequences. Those consequences will always have real, irrevocable costs in the real world, in our own lives, in the lives of our difficult child kids.</p><p></p><p>One way or the other way, there will be consequences.</p><p></p><p>We don't get to ignore it. These problems are not going away. They are only getting bigger. We are going to have to stand up one day. There have been more moms than one here who have been hospitalized as a result of difficult child violence. That did not happen overnight. It happened one excused rudeness, one ignored curfew, one issue of disrespect, at a time.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you, COM. We did have a good, good night. The sunrise was a blaze, all at once, against the clouds. Fresh coffee, and the character, the feel of every sunrise entirely different, every single one unique. </p><p></p><p>So the morning was pretty good, too.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>The quality of thought, the willing exploration of nuance, the determination to cherish and heal, to learn how to survive what has happened to all of us, and to our kids...that is why I am here, why I keep coming back, why I feel so fortunate to have found this site, and all of you.</p><p></p><p>We are in the presence of a living miracle, if you think about it, Child.</p><p></p><p>This stuff does not happen anywhere else in the world, what we are doing, here.</p><p></p><p>How cool is that?</p><p></p><p>:O)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 622376, member: 17461"] I think so too, Child. How does that saying go? We are only as strong as our secrets? We are learning, and telling, our secrets here. I think that is why we are able to effect change in ourselves that years of therapy may not have been able to accomplish. That is the true value of this site. We support and heal one another as we come in, and we determine to change and risk and grow and heal as we are here long enough to learn to trust ourselves and each other with those things we have repressed. "Right needs no defense. Just good witness." I don't know who said that, but it rings true for us, here. What we are willing to risk of our own stories, of our own selves, helps us. In helping ourselves, as it turns out, we are helping others. A win for the white, Child. :O) I think the consequences part is a twofold thing, Child. There are the kinds of consequences that might happen, that surely will happen, to the difficult child because we've set a limit they have disregarded. The other kind of consequence is what happens ~ to us, to our kids, to our extended families and even our neighbors ~ when we do not stick to that limit our difficult child's behaviors required us to make. In the first case, bad things can happen to the difficult child who is now homeless. Or maybe, the difficult child will come awake, and change the direction he or she is taking the life they've been blessed with. Bad things will certainly happen to the difficult child [U]and[/U] the parents living in a home where the parents talk and talk, but never impose a consequence for breaking the agreement on limits, for breaking the agreement on what fringe behaviors will be tolerated in the homes the parents have created and are responsible for. What atmosphere, what ambiance, will we live with? The chaos, the pointless hatred and seething resentment over nothing real that is the difficult child lifestyle? Or the sweetwater feel of a well run home? Two layers of consequences. When you raise a difficult child child, there will always be consequences. Those consequences will always have real, irrevocable costs in the real world, in our own lives, in the lives of our difficult child kids. One way or the other way, there will be consequences. We don't get to ignore it. These problems are not going away. They are only getting bigger. We are going to have to stand up one day. There have been more moms than one here who have been hospitalized as a result of difficult child violence. That did not happen overnight. It happened one excused rudeness, one ignored curfew, one issue of disrespect, at a time. Thank you, COM. We did have a good, good night. The sunrise was a blaze, all at once, against the clouds. Fresh coffee, and the character, the feel of every sunrise entirely different, every single one unique. So the morning was pretty good, too. :O) The quality of thought, the willing exploration of nuance, the determination to cherish and heal, to learn how to survive what has happened to all of us, and to our kids...that is why I am here, why I keep coming back, why I feel so fortunate to have found this site, and all of you. We are in the presence of a living miracle, if you think about it, Child. This stuff does not happen anywhere else in the world, what we are doing, here. How cool is that? :O) [/QUOTE]
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