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Family of Origin
Malignant Narcissism
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 674978" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Try to think of it this way, Cedar. Of a lock and key. Your sister sees herself as a key to a lock. The lock stands in the way of which she wants. The win is getting it. </p><p></p><p>There are people whose payoff is giving. Not because of their intrinsic goodness (which may be true) but because of a need to feel superior, or advantaged or special or good about about themselves. </p><p></p><p>By finding "deserving" recipients, these people feel "good". These people are looking for recipients that make them feel good about themselves. How much does it "cost" emotionally to help somebody, a stranger you meet on the plane? No commitment of time. Or effort. No relationship what so ever.</p><p></p><p>Your sister has no trouble accessing the benefits that these people can provide. She thinks nothing of presenting herself in whatever way will unlock the door to what she seeks. </p><p></p><p>She can present herself as pretty, charming, funny, and needy, if this paves the way to what she wants. It is purely instrumental. The giving too is instrumental. A way to feel one is good and doing good.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 674978, member: 18958"] Try to think of it this way, Cedar. Of a lock and key. Your sister sees herself as a key to a lock. The lock stands in the way of which she wants. The win is getting it. There are people whose payoff is giving. Not because of their intrinsic goodness (which may be true) but because of a need to feel superior, or advantaged or special or good about about themselves. By finding "deserving" recipients, these people feel "good". These people are looking for recipients that make them feel good about themselves. How much does it "cost" emotionally to help somebody, a stranger you meet on the plane? No commitment of time. Or effort. No relationship what so ever. Your sister has no trouble accessing the benefits that these people can provide. She thinks nothing of presenting herself in whatever way will unlock the door to what she seeks. She can present herself as pretty, charming, funny, and needy, if this paves the way to what she wants. It is purely instrumental. The giving too is instrumental. A way to feel one is good and doing good. COPA [/QUOTE]
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