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Family of Origin
Malignant Narcissism
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 674982" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>If I look back on my life, I am encouraged to feel the same about painful events, based upon Serenity's example.</p><p></p><p>There is the incident about being gossiped about, that any position or esteem I achieved was accrued as the bosses girlfriend (which I was not) as a favor. And the boss cut me loose. A betrayal.</p><p></p><p>There were many people who were envious of me. Or jealous. I was singled out by the boss for my excellence, for my work ethic, for my ethics generally, because he knew me to be extraordinarily committed to those for whom I was responsible. Including to him.</p><p></p><p>I was never suited to the killing and abusive atmosphere in which I worked, and I stood out like a jewel in a cesspool, attracting the spears of others.</p><p></p><p>Yet my self-concept never incorporated an owning of my gifts. Nor did I own how others would feel about themselves in comparison to me. I needed to either get tougher or to better insulate myself. Or leave the environment. I did none of these things.</p><p></p><p>These 3 fallow years may have prepared me to better anticipate the cruelties of life, and to care for myself better, the person I really am, not the person I should be.</p><p></p><p>The person I am should not have worked in that kind of environment.</p><p>Yes. If people do not have it in them to appreciate us, we need to appreciate ourselves, which means valuing ourselves enough to care and protect. To leave.</p><p>And I did not survive these past 3 years to continue to submit to the worldview of others, which I have internalized...by habit. I can change.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 674982, member: 18958"] If I look back on my life, I am encouraged to feel the same about painful events, based upon Serenity's example. There is the incident about being gossiped about, that any position or esteem I achieved was accrued as the bosses girlfriend (which I was not) as a favor. And the boss cut me loose. A betrayal. There were many people who were envious of me. Or jealous. I was singled out by the boss for my excellence, for my work ethic, for my ethics generally, because he knew me to be extraordinarily committed to those for whom I was responsible. Including to him. I was never suited to the killing and abusive atmosphere in which I worked, and I stood out like a jewel in a cesspool, attracting the spears of others. Yet my self-concept never incorporated an owning of my gifts. Nor did I own how others would feel about themselves in comparison to me. I needed to either get tougher or to better insulate myself. Or leave the environment. I did none of these things. These 3 fallow years may have prepared me to better anticipate the cruelties of life, and to care for myself better, the person I really am, not the person I should be. The person I am should not have worked in that kind of environment. Yes. If people do not have it in them to appreciate us, we need to appreciate ourselves, which means valuing ourselves enough to care and protect. To leave. And I did not survive these past 3 years to continue to submit to the worldview of others, which I have internalized...by habit. I can change. COPA [/QUOTE]
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