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Malika: Answering your question...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 438396" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My oldest son (now 33) could be mean when he was young. Trust me, no kids like mean or aggressive kids and it doesn't matter that in our area "different" was accepted. Mean isn't accepted anywhere. He still had to learn how to be a good friend in order to have them. As a child, he was never medicated because he didn't have any childhood disorders that merited it and he wasn't difficult to us (his parents) or in school and he was a gifted straight "A" student. </p><p></p><p>But when he was around other kids, they happened to get hurt a lot and it was never his fault. He got into therapy. Amazingly, time outs worked magic for him. BUT we had to put him in a time out every time he did or said something that wasn't nice. For a while he spent a lot of time in time out. Then he seemed to learn that sitting in time out is no fun so he stopped his aggression.</p><p></p><p>He grew up continuing to have problems and they actually seemed to come out around age 13. He ended up having inherited almost ALL of my problems and is on medications...like me he is useless without them. This makes me sad and guilty that I ever had a biological child because he has so many mental health issues. Yet, he is functioning, has a great job, a wife and my precious grandson. For him, he NEEDS medications. So did I. My younger son DID NOT. </p><p></p><p>It is so very individual. Frankly, if my only option for my six year old was Ritalin, I may take a pass on that. I tried Ritalin and all it did was make me so hyper that I was shaking a nd, at the same time, fearless until it wore off and then I crashed into a despairing depression that lasted for months. I'm not a stimulant fan at all. My older daughter, who did drugs, said stimulants are widely abused. Teens crush them in pillcrushes and snort them alone or with other drugs. This is just my opinion, but if that was my only option, I probably would not use it. </p><p></p><p>One last comment of my worthless .02 <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />) I would NEVER want to medicate any child to the point that he goes from high energy, spirited to totally calm. That is a red flag for being overmedicated and overly sedated. That has happened to me. It doesn't feel good, but you simply no longer have the will or energy to be yourself. It is a tricky happy medium that one must strike when trying medication, especially with kids. They lack the ability to express it when the medications are making him feel worse and often they just act out or veg out in a sedated state.</p><p></p><p>Having taken medications since age 23 (I am 57) I know pretty much the benefits and pitfalls of medication. It feels horrible to be so depressed that you are actively thinking about how to die. It feels just as bad to be in a total funk because of too much medication yet be too lethargic or confused to even think of a way to end it all. I was in three psychiatric hospitals. There are mixed feelings amongst the patients about medication. Some have had such horrible side effects that they refuse them, even though they know they will be sicker without them.</p><p></p><p>No easy answers here. Wish I had them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 438396, member: 1550"] My oldest son (now 33) could be mean when he was young. Trust me, no kids like mean or aggressive kids and it doesn't matter that in our area "different" was accepted. Mean isn't accepted anywhere. He still had to learn how to be a good friend in order to have them. As a child, he was never medicated because he didn't have any childhood disorders that merited it and he wasn't difficult to us (his parents) or in school and he was a gifted straight "A" student. But when he was around other kids, they happened to get hurt a lot and it was never his fault. He got into therapy. Amazingly, time outs worked magic for him. BUT we had to put him in a time out every time he did or said something that wasn't nice. For a while he spent a lot of time in time out. Then he seemed to learn that sitting in time out is no fun so he stopped his aggression. He grew up continuing to have problems and they actually seemed to come out around age 13. He ended up having inherited almost ALL of my problems and is on medications...like me he is useless without them. This makes me sad and guilty that I ever had a biological child because he has so many mental health issues. Yet, he is functioning, has a great job, a wife and my precious grandson. For him, he NEEDS medications. So did I. My younger son DID NOT. It is so very individual. Frankly, if my only option for my six year old was Ritalin, I may take a pass on that. I tried Ritalin and all it did was make me so hyper that I was shaking a nd, at the same time, fearless until it wore off and then I crashed into a despairing depression that lasted for months. I'm not a stimulant fan at all. My older daughter, who did drugs, said stimulants are widely abused. Teens crush them in pillcrushes and snort them alone or with other drugs. This is just my opinion, but if that was my only option, I probably would not use it. One last comment of my worthless .02 :)) I would NEVER want to medicate any child to the point that he goes from high energy, spirited to totally calm. That is a red flag for being overmedicated and overly sedated. That has happened to me. It doesn't feel good, but you simply no longer have the will or energy to be yourself. It is a tricky happy medium that one must strike when trying medication, especially with kids. They lack the ability to express it when the medications are making him feel worse and often they just act out or veg out in a sedated state. Having taken medications since age 23 (I am 57) I know pretty much the benefits and pitfalls of medication. It feels horrible to be so depressed that you are actively thinking about how to die. It feels just as bad to be in a total funk because of too much medication yet be too lethargic or confused to even think of a way to end it all. I was in three psychiatric hospitals. There are mixed feelings amongst the patients about medication. Some have had such horrible side effects that they refuse them, even though they know they will be sicker without them. No easy answers here. Wish I had them. [/QUOTE]
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