Oh, I think he does see much deeper. At first I thought the statement about the father being gone and Mom being boss was a bit odd, but it does go to a kid's basic perceptions of stereotypical roles. You often state that J seems to treat you as an equal, so the psychiatrist's statement seems a logical first approach.
The psychiatrist did see the hyperactivity as a separate issue and referred you to the psychomotricien. The best I could find on the internet is that this professional is a cross between occupational, physical and developmental therapist. Direct translation called it a psychomotor therapist. in my opinion, sounds exactly right for J.
That's interesting, keista. I think there is certainly something to this. And, yes, perhaps/probably he did see deeper. It's just that, on the ground, when J is being oppositional and difficult, me "being the boss" simply doesn't work. There is a degree to which I have to accept that, for whatever reason - which we do not know precisely because we cannot see inside and analyse his brain - J cannot be parented in the normal way. That is really what I was saying. And I think J's ADHD or whatever traits are exacerbated by the absent father. As for male superiority in Morocco, it is not subtly taught but completely openly on display, on every hand in a thousand ways! And yes, J will have noticed it on some level and the difference from Europe.
I would like to have a psychiatrist in whom I can have trust and confidence so it is interesting to hear these comments. Certainly the present one is all but useless (though a very nice person, I am sure) - I have one more scheduled appointment with her and then I think i willl let her drop. Or, as J would say, let her fall... Yes, buddy, J is sweet and empathetic when people/animals are sick or hurt and he really loves to help. It is one of the paradoxes of his nature, which probably all our children share.
Oh, and one more thing I wanted to tag onto the end of this post though really it is not connected, is that just recently I have been reacting to J's wails of protest and shrieking when he does not get what he wants with a sort of (very authentic and unrehearsed
) impatient comment such as "Oh come on, J, snap out of it, it really doesn't matter" - and you know what, it works. He just stops grizzling. Funny, isn't it? Actually, I have just remembered that I was supposed to be doing an experiment of hugging him when he had a tantrum, but alas I soon forgot about that
