Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Kjs, Jun 19, 2008.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I haven't even had time to get myself together yet and now this.

    Had my annual Mammogram last week. They said they would call if it was abnormal, otherwise I would get a letter.

    Saw a letter from the clinic on Tuesday, but thought it was a bill and ignored it until yesterday.

    Opened it and says they found a large dense mass. I called and she said they want me to come in for further testing ASAP. Friday(tomorrow). Said that I will meet with the doctor after each test. The result of each test will determine if there will be the next test. But I will meet with the doctor after each test so when I leave, I will have the results.

    I am normally not scheduled to work Wednesday night until the next Sunday night. However, THIS week is our disaster recovery testing and I am scheduled from 9 - 3 on Friday. This is part of my goals, and our merrit increases are based on our goals.

    I originally told the lady I cannot make it Friday. Scheduled for Monday. I thought what will a few days harm.
    Then I was told by someone that Breast Cancer is very aggressive. So, I called her back this morning and decided I will just be late for my work. She said she was glad I called back it is very important to get this done as soon as possible.

    She did say that the doctor working tomorrow usually always will request the second test so not to be alarmed if he does.
    She said after the first test the doctor will then speak to me and my husband. After the second test another meeting. I will not leave with any questions.

    Then I cried. My husband won't go. He won't miss work for me. If it was difficult child he would, but me....he won't. I'll tell him what she said, see if he shows up. I highly doubt it.

    Then I find out they DID call and leave a message with no response. Asked my kids if they erased it. Nope. Then husband says he did. ?????

    difficult child had a friend (same age) whose mother died last fall from breast cancer. I was so upset yesterday after reading that letter I left it on the table, and both boys read it.

    Now to mention the fight I got into last week with difficult child when I actually said, "how would you like to be like your friend with NO mother".

    I am really, really, really scared. difficult child needs me. I am so scared, and so alone. And sick.

    The letter said left breast. That is the one that hurt when they squished it in the little vice thingy. I just thought the other side didn't hurt as much because they must not have squished it as much.

    Came home Tuesday night from work sick. Sick since Monday. Just very sick and couldn't finish my shift. That was before I even knew this.

    What are your experiences with mammograms?? I am thinking since they want me to meet with the doctor and since they said ASAP they must of seen something bad.

    I am worried.
  2. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Just a glimmer of hope here. A large mass is usually a hormonal thing. It's the small buggers you have to worry about.

    My mom's initial 'lump' was 1mm wide. Thank God she had a good radialogist who found it.

    Fingers crossed for you.

  3. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    When I get a mammogram they check it before I am even out the door.....surprised if it was a large one that they didn't say something to you before you even left. There can be many reasons for large masses, I've heard eating chocolate or having a lot of caffiene can effect the reading too......have they talked about doing a sonagram (meant ultrasound)? I once received a call and said they wanted to double check their results, but couldn't get me in until the next Monday, so had the whole weekend to later turned out to be nothing, so hoping that is the case for you......just see what they have to say.....
    Please keep us updated......keeping positive thoughts for you!
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    My sister specializes in this field she's a radiologist something, something, but works with boobs all day (her words not mine) I think with her Aspie light sense of humor she means the people she works with. There will never be anyone as smart as her. (her words not mine-again)

    Abbey is right - a mass is usually hormonal. But it is best to get it checked out. As far as your DF not going - I think most men do not go. I did not want mine to go when they said I had a brain tumor - he was like - Oh okay. I think he really didn't know which way to go. He ended up showing up later though and it just peeved me off. I dont' like anyone I "know" to see me "weak".

    If it helps - I'll be there with you in spirit. I know it's scary but it's not scary until they start talking about the bigger stuff so just breath and remain as calm as you can.

    Hugs - don't be scared okay?
    Hugs again
  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{kjs}} I had a mammo a few years ago and they called me back to have another mammo as well as an ultrasound of the entire breast tissue. They said that my breasts were incredibly dense and they suspected it was not serious but wanted to be sure. After a very painful ultrasound that seemed to last forever (it was really only 15 minutes), the breast surgeon came in to speak with me. He assured me that everything seemed to be okay but that they would study the films better and get back to me. Later, my gyno called and told me to give up ALL forms of caffeine for one month and I had to redo the test then. I schedule it for right after my period so my breasts were not so tender - and it was my left breast and underarms that were showing small masses. The second set of films came back okay, but I had to go back again in 3 months, then 6 months, and then back to once a year. The DR was awesome and answered all my questions - they are used to the range of emotions from their patients.

    I know it's difficult, but try not to assume the worst. Take some deep cleansing breaths and you know we will all be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers and sending out some healthy vibes. Sending some gentle hugs.
  6. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Thanks for all your hopeful words. I DO consume lots of chocolate and coke, coffee. Something has to keep me awake during the night shift.

    Much to my surprise, husband said he would go. That scares me. He has never gone anywhere with me. Not even to ER. Or surgery. I was always alone.

    Thanks again.
  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Well, you're not alone now, sweetie. I'm glad that he is stepping up to the plate and going with you. And you know that we will all be with you as well. I hope that they will find that it is only a cyst. I get those often. Of course it is best to know for sure.

    Do what you can to keep yourself calm in the meanwhile. Maybe a nice warm bath and a glass of wine?
  8. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Sounds like husband wanted to avoid it at first. Sometimes this is really harder on the male than the female.

    I'm one of those who has to get a mammogram every 3 months. I finally put my foot down and said no more -- ultrasounds only. I have yet to have one come back clean since I was in my 30s. There's a new mass, a new density, a new lump. Something every time and every time they have to do more mammograms which are always inconclusive and then the ultrasound. So far, everything has come back negative or benign (several biopsies, too). Even so, I don't mess around -- if they find something, I jump through the hoops to get the results.

    It is usually true that the larger the mass, the lower the risk.

    Hope everything goes well. You may have to cut down on the caffeine. I know that and chocolate was and is a big no-no for me. Now, I quit all caffeine at least a month before I'm scheduled to go in. It helps a little.
  9. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    My thoughts & prayers are with you! I'm glad to hear husband is going to go with you ;)
  10. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    <<<HUGS>>> and prayers for your worried heart
  11. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Many, many hugs............
    Do not worry. It will all be OK. There are so many things this could be - but I firmly believe cancer will not be one of them.
    Peace and good thoughts being sent your way.
  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending many positive thoughts your way. As the others have said it could be many things. We will all be with you in spirit tomorrow. ((((hugs))))
  13. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Let husband be a bit nervous. Perhaps he will treat you a little differently and with a bit more kindness. I agree with the others about the large dense mass. Probably hormonal. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Update us as soon as you can.
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So sorry about the scare, Kjs. But I am so glad your husband is going. I had a reply where I said I was more concerned about his lack of concern than your potential diagnosis ... but I took a break for dinner and it looks like he's come around!
    I've had breast cancer. There are a zillion diff kinds. I know you're scared and stressed because you don't have any info, but by this time tomorrow, you'll have lots of info and I hope it will ease your mind.
    Quite frankly, after all I went through, this part--the Not Knowing part--was the worst. Believe me, I know how you're feeling. Sigh.
    by the way, I know about 30 women who have had breast cancer and they're doing fine (they come out of the woodwork when they hear about you ... the word spreads). PLEASE don't get too stressed.
    And bring a notebook to the appointment to take notes because you may be too stressed to remember anything. You'll have questions for the next cpl days and it will help to be able to review your notes.
  15. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    I had to go back also for one of my mammograms. they said my breasts were so fiberous - it looked funny on the Xray so they called me in again - it scared me to death but it is better to make sure than let it go - it probably is nothing - just be glad they called you back in - saying prayers
  16. tryinghard

    tryinghard New Member

    I had a similar thing happen. It ended up being a large cyst that had a very odd shape. They took fluid and tested it and it came back negative.

    I know it is easier said than done..but try not to worry too much. It maybe nothing. If it is something, you have caught it and can start treatment! They are SO successful now with treatment.

    Please keep us updated. I will keep you in my prayers.
  17. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    How did I miss this?

    You will be in my thoughts and prayers, sweetie. PM me if you want to talk.

  18. Christy

    Christy New Member

    You are in my prayers. I'm so glad that husband is going with you. Think good thoughts.
  19. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Will be thinking positive thoughts for you.

  20. Sending many positive thoughts and prayers your way. Please keep us in the loop. We're pulling for you!