Man noises........(its rated G - I promise)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Star*, Jun 11, 2011.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Tonight I bought the cat (the evil she devil up from the crossroads) a bag of these new cat snacks called Temptations. The package shows a picture of a cat, lounging in a pedestaled bowl looking so relaxed, and the flavor says "Cat Nip." I think to myself that cat nip must be like pot for cats and will mellow her out. I have very limited knowledge about cats, but I'm willing to wave the white flag and give it a try for some common ground. Besides - I had a coupon and they would be .23 cents. Normally $2.39.

    Apparently I hit the right snack, but catnip does not "mellow" a cat out - it hypes them up. It's like kitty uppers. So I'm standing there popping these barely legal 'feline uppers' to my 'now in love with me' cat, and DF sitting just inches away from us makes this trumpet noise and the cat literally came about four inches off the bay window seat, I jumped completely out of the way startled thinking "old Fiesta Cat" was getting ready to nail me, and poor Pootie didn't know wheter to bark or go blind - so she went barking and could NOT get out of her own way fast enough, skidded on a throw rug, shot it across the room, scaring the cat further, and nearly clothes-lining me.

    DF just sits there calmly watching TV - and there we are all three girls in the house and now we are ANGRY - "WHAT in tarnation made that horrid noise?" and I was bellowing!!!!!! Df turns around with a kleenex and says "WHAT? Now I can't blow my nose?" I said as I put my hands to my nose and fake blew "THIS is blowing. YOU were calling for a female Elk in rut." to which I got rolling eyes and a childish face. To which I replied - LOOK AT THE CAT - she's still a Halloween cat. And she

    With that? DF got up and went outside, but WOW what a trumpet! Somewhere in Jerico - the walls are tumbling down. ----And their cat is still roached up like an ole Halloween cut out.

    Even his burps are glass breaking -

    Is this a hard of hearing thing? Or is this just a man-thing? I'm almost afraid to make chili for fear of a blaze of glory or a need for a fire extinguisher from the noise & friction.
  2. Jena

    Jena New Member

    LOL very funny...... i pictured the cat all hopped up!! yea silly those are kitty uppers'........ they love that stuff!!

    it's a man thing, they all grunt, mumble, strange noises leave them. When my insane husband does something he looks at the kids and blames it on them LOL
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I think that explains why Bruce won't touch those treats. hmmm He doesn't like cat nip. But we learned with Shadow that it's a cat upper. Nichole's mother in law grows the stuff. Why I dunno, she doesn't even have a cat anymore.

    father in law used to do the trumpet. I swear if the man blew his nose in the house you could hear him down the block. And a sneeze.........omg! I checked for broken windows once.

    I think it's an as they get older thing. Not sure about the hearing part.

    husband swears I'm doing it too. I told him.........ehhh, I just figured with all the noise you're making you wouldn't notice mine. lol
  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: snort hack cough :rofl: :rofl:
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I really think we are all married to the same man...

    And those catnip treats? Oh, yeah...our senior cat Cobra took a bag off the counter, tore it open, and ate the whole thing. I don't think he slept for three days.
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!


    Trumpeting is definitely a man thing, cuz I got me one here, too.
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    H even blows his trumpet in restaurants...he turns heads, and not because he's handsome! People literally look at him appalled. Oh yeah, and since the kids are scarce, he now blames one of the three dogs! Lol.

    I think as men get older, they are less inclined to care about who they disturb. Maybe there's a little bit of hearing issues, but I think it's insensitivity. Just my perspective.
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It is a guy thing. About the ONLY thing I remember from church in first -third grades is the debate we kids had over whether Father Lunn sounded like an elephant or an angry moose. He would pull out this ENORMOUS white handkerchief at least 3 times a mass (the record was twelve times - we kept a count, being fascinated with this far more than the mandatory weekday mass that we had to attend as it was a parochial school). That handkerchief was easily twice the size of the ones my dad used and the entire thing would fly up and flutter with each sneeze. At one point we were even betting our ice cream money (school sold ice cream after lunch) on how many per mass. Once digital clocks became available in 3rd grade and they had stopwatches in them we even bet on how long they would last. (So, yes, ladies, I did learn to bet in church, lol!)

    It is a guy thing, though not all are as impressive as Father Lunn was and your df is.

    As for catnip, every cat reacts differently. Some are just mellowed out and stretch out to chill. Others become hyper and wild and will often beg for the stuff or even find the package and rip it open. Some will get either of those responses only once and after that first high it does absolutely nothing. My gma never had fewer than 3 cats and I have seen all of these reactions. We had a cat who trained our dog to open the kitchen drawer that the dog treats and catnip were kept in. My mom had to put a lock on the drawer because otherwise the cat was a true terror from the catnip all the time.
  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Well... It's because you CAN'T KILL THE STUFF.

    I had some that we needed to get rid of, so I poured gasoline on it, and lit it. It burnt to the ground. 2 weeks later it was back. Nothing else would grow there.

    Possum will mug you for nip. Squirrel thinks it smells good, but yay, woo. She truly couldn't care less. Weasel loved the stuff - would climb up you for it.

    But it relaxed her, and hypes Possum...
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    OMG girls thank you so much for your stories and aligned validation! And for the chuckles ------I needed to know I'm not the only one living with Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass....

    As far as Fiesta Cat? The cat that IGNORES me like I'm the bringer of death? As if I am dressed every day in a guilly suit and our house is inside out? The one that walks past DF with loving rubs, and swirls her tail looking over her shoulder back at me to see if I am looking, mocking me yet when I tell DF - LOOK AT HER!! She quickly snaps her head lovingly up at him as if she adores only him and is innocent as a new born making him think I am crazy!!!? Well this morning? I picked up her little bag of "stash" and shook it.....Then I waltzed around DF lovingly, I looked back at her over my shoulder, I ignored her as if my couch had a calico cover on it - and then I sat the cat snacks down (Quite juvenille of me isn't it?) and walked away. When DF said "Well aren't you going to give her any snacks? I said "OH? I didn't mean to call her I was just DUSTING!" Now to feed them ALL to POOTIE while "Little Miss I have ignored you for FOUR YEARS" DF just sat there and said "I'm not sure which one of you loves the OTHER more." .....yeah right. I'm not the one running to get catnip after a four year sabatical.

    Eventually I did sit down, open the package and she debated as to whether or not my intentions were true, but I held out my hand and she shot over to it like a rocket! Ha~! "DF just shook his head and said wow.....very good, you've outsmarted a cat." Then I said - YUP and it only took me FOUR years. (Then I sat blinking............She really is quite clever Fiesta Cat) lol
  11. ML

    ML Guest

    That is hysterical. Your gift for descriptive writing continues to amaze and entertain me.
  12. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    LOL, great story. It's a guy thing (and sometimes a kid thing). The catnip is like poison ivy for humans, about a 50/50 shot on if they're affected by it at all. My cat gets hyped for a few minutes and then mellows out for a bit.
  13. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    It's genetic. About 75% of cats are catnip responders. Within that group, some get wild on it and some get very mellow. The usual is Occupational Therapist (OT) get wild and then crash. Some even get the munchies.

    When I had the Maine Coon cattery, all the cats there were responders. My current rescue Siamese mix is not a responder.
  14. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    My parents' cat loves dried catnip, but could not care less about fresh stuff...
  15. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    As far as that one goes, I don't think it's just men. I think all of us old farts are less inclined to think about who we disturb as we get older.

    As for the catnip, I don't have cats but I do grow catnip in my herb garden. The neighbors have cats and sometimes I look out my window and there will be several of them stoned out of their minds just lying on the walk with their eyes glazed over and a dopey grin on their faces. Too funny!
  16. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I think you're right! LolMy dad grew catnip in our garden when I was a kid. My sister told me years later that she tried smoking it because she thought if cats got stoned off it then maybe she would too! Hahaha!
  17. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    OK, confession time...

    I have been known to put catnip in brownies and cookies.

    The ancient Celts used to chew catnip before they went into battle, because it was believed that it would make them fiercer.

    For some people, it also can be an aphrodisiac...
  18. Marg's Man

    Marg's Man Member

    (wipes tears from eyes)It's a guy thing but women are not entirely blameless.

    I'm guilty as charged (Marg would say so anyway) but I've known a few women who can outdo most blokes (NOT Marg).

    EVERYONE farts but the volume can (mostly) be controlled.

    Marg's Man
  19. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I'm not even going there with butt horns.........I live with a man who has gotten comfortable with me and THREE bulldogs. I have enough methane in my house to raise the roof. The D.A. ranch rivals cow pastures. Matter of fact I've been known to pass the bathroom and it's now cordially known as "The Thunder Down Under." Even the dog nealry broke my neck trying to get out of the way from the bodacious noise ecoing from the porcelain throne.