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General Parenting
Man, they know how to cut to the bone
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 184637" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I have also done the yelling. Only, I yelled EVERYTHING I said to difficult child for a few hours (after therapy, multiple times of having HIM show me the diff between yelling and talking, etc...). The therapist actually thought, with my child, it was genius. NOT for every child, but for Wiz, very effective. I only yelled answers to his questions, "do you want p&J or hot dogs for lunch" that kind of thing. Nothing mean. </p><p> </p><p>when he asked why I was yelling, I said because he told me I was yelling all the time, so I thought it was what he wanted. </p><p> </p><p>Totally dumbfounded him. Stopped the argument for several years.</p><p> </p><p>I am so very sorry. I totally understand the pain you will pay for the outing with. I know what you wanted, and that she was ungrateful and unappreciative. Maybe, instead of focusing on negativity, focus on manners and graciousness? No manners, no nothing. I know you don't think you do a lot for her, but you do. Pulling back a bit, to show her what the REAL world will do with her nastiness, is maybe a kindness? A way to show her that she really DOES have a choice in how she presents herself verbally to the world?</p><p> </p><p>Also, take the hair extensions away. If a thing is her excuse for such rude behavior, then it should not be in her possession, even if she paid for it with her own money. We ahve been through this with TV (certain shows and all together), books, chocolate, ice cream, and so many other things. LEtting her have an item that is the excuse/reason for treating you like dirt is not doing her any favors. </p><p> </p><p>We had a mall trip a couple of years ago with the $200 flat iron. She had just that week gotten a flat iron, but all of a sudden it was the $200 one or nothing. She was younger than wynter, but she lost the flat iron, the clothing seh proceeded to bad mouth, AND the dessert we were on our way to get. She learned to stop, to apologize, and to be more pleasant.</p><p> </p><p>I am sorry you pushed yourself to spend the day "out" with her and she ended it with ugliness. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs,</p><p> </p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 184637, member: 1233"] I have also done the yelling. Only, I yelled EVERYTHING I said to difficult child for a few hours (after therapy, multiple times of having HIM show me the diff between yelling and talking, etc...). The therapist actually thought, with my child, it was genius. NOT for every child, but for Wiz, very effective. I only yelled answers to his questions, "do you want p&J or hot dogs for lunch" that kind of thing. Nothing mean. when he asked why I was yelling, I said because he told me I was yelling all the time, so I thought it was what he wanted. Totally dumbfounded him. Stopped the argument for several years. I am so very sorry. I totally understand the pain you will pay for the outing with. I know what you wanted, and that she was ungrateful and unappreciative. Maybe, instead of focusing on negativity, focus on manners and graciousness? No manners, no nothing. I know you don't think you do a lot for her, but you do. Pulling back a bit, to show her what the REAL world will do with her nastiness, is maybe a kindness? A way to show her that she really DOES have a choice in how she presents herself verbally to the world? Also, take the hair extensions away. If a thing is her excuse for such rude behavior, then it should not be in her possession, even if she paid for it with her own money. We ahve been through this with TV (certain shows and all together), books, chocolate, ice cream, and so many other things. LEtting her have an item that is the excuse/reason for treating you like dirt is not doing her any favors. We had a mall trip a couple of years ago with the $200 flat iron. She had just that week gotten a flat iron, but all of a sudden it was the $200 one or nothing. She was younger than wynter, but she lost the flat iron, the clothing seh proceeded to bad mouth, AND the dessert we were on our way to get. She learned to stop, to apologize, and to be more pleasant. I am sorry you pushed yourself to spend the day "out" with her and she ended it with ugliness. Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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