Manic Monday

[Dreambeliever82]

Hi Everyone!!

I don't know if it's the transition from Sunday to Monday or what, but my difficult child got himself sent home from his summer program by 11:00 this morning! The usual meltdown, hitting other children, teachers and very, very angry.

He has another appointment with the psychiatrist tommorow evening, in which we should be raising the dose of abilify that he takes. I have been much more happy with this medication than I was with the risperadol because there are so fewer side effects. Then again if its not going to work I suppose I would be happier with no medications at all.

I just want these explosions at his daycare to stop. I was lucky today because his grandfather picked him up, so I didn't have to leave work and put my job at risk. He just started this program a few weeks ago and it is so awesome. They do a lot of physical activities with the kids which have been great with him. But no matter the success of the program, how great the teachers are with him, super structure or no structer at all, he cannot control his anger and rageful hitting outburst.

ARRRRGGGGG!!!!

The director and I were talking today and I was asking her what I could do at home to help this to stop ( I don't struggle with this behavior at home, even though I have in the past. And I feel it is so impulsive, that reward/punishment systems don't work at home.) She suggested that may be I spoil him to much at home. Ha~

Maybe I do, may be I have gotten really good at getting out of a conflict that I spoil him. I like to be able to say yes. And if it's not going to harm him (a piece of gum) why would I say no. I am a nice Mama

Should I be saying no more, just to get him used to it? That just doesnt make sense to me. I say no for good reasons, not just because I can! The truth is, if saying no to every other thing that he asked for would help, I would do it. Really, I would rather every melt down, every explosion, would happen at home. I think I could take it.

I am looking in to ordering the book that I hear recommended on here all the time. "The Explosive Child" geez if the name itself doesnt describe him perfectly. Some times I am just tired of trying new things. I just want to find something that works for more that a week.

You guys are all awesome..

 

[BusynMember]

Has your child ever been evaluated by a neuropsychologist? Are there any psychiatric or neurological problems on either side of your son's biological family tree? How was his early development--speech, eye contact, peer appropriateness, imaginative play, motor skills.
ODD is not a stand alone diagnosis most of the time. There is usually something fueling the behavior--another bigger diagnosis. It is unlikely that you "spoil" your son any more than any parent--this isn't your fault. Something is "off" with your child and you owe it to him and to yourself to find out what it is.
I would see a neuropsychologist as I have found they do the best and most intensive evaluations, often catching what others miss. Your own family tree can be very helpful to solving the "what is it?" mystery. What about the psychiatric, neurological or substance abuse history of his biological dad and his family? Yours?
Others will come along.

 

[tiredmommy]

I don't think you're spoiling him. I think you aren't sweating the little things and anticipating his triggers. I had the opposite problem as Duckie's rages occurred at home. He may be overwhelmed by all the sights, sounds and noise at daycare and possibly transitioning poorly from home. I usually tried to drop Duckie a little early so she could warm up for the day.

 

[Dreambeliever82]

Thank you for the responses, I don't even know where to start when looking into Neropsych Testing. I guess I will start with my insurance, or his Therapist.

Today was another bad day, the daycare even had a police officer come in to talk to him because he became so violent. We doubled his dose of Abilify on Tuesday and I was just hoping that relief would come quickly. I am going to wait it out, but if these medications do not start helping soon, I am going to take him off the medications all together.

His early development was right on schedule, and there is an enormous amount of anger and substance abuse history throughout his family tree. I am not, or should'nt be, that surprised that all this is happening. I sure didn't expect things to hit the fan so young. I just need some help. I feel so desperate because there is a good chance I could loose my job if he gets kicked out of another daycare.

Thanks again for the support!

 

[Christy]

Don't be too hard on yourself. The whole dynamic at home is different than school. There are a million more triggers in a daycare setting then in the protective comfort of ones own home. Daycare was a nightmare for my son. We tried centers and home daycare and neither went well. Eventually we hired a nanny and struggled through a preschool program for socialization. It was a beter fit but my son continues to have issues at school so much so that we homeschooled this past year. Your son may not be ready for a school type setting. Is there any way you can arrange a sitter instead?

Good Luck!
Christy