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manic or master manipulator?
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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 342192" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>I struggled with that question for a long time. </p><p> </p><p>What I learned that applies in my situation: It doesn't matter, not really. My difficult child is going to be an adult in a couple short years. Regardless of reason, excuse or situation he has to learn to maintain appropriate behavior in personal and public life. If he cannot do this then he will inevitably end up in adult psychiatric hospital or prison or have failed relationships or worse.</p><p> </p><p>My bottom line is that he has to do what he has to do to get moving in life. Any compromise on my part will end with him not being equipped to live in the real world, the world outisde of our home. It may seem harsh but I won't always be here to save him or to be the whipping boy. Some day it may be a wife who leaves him or a boss who fires him. since his behavior is the problem and not me failing as a parent the burden of acting proper is his.</p><p> </p><p>It may have made me feel better to know he was just manic and not some twisted game player. In the end I don't think I will ever know. The mania causes behaviors such as manipulation in and of itself. I think it's like trying to figure out what came first the chicken or the egg. nice for informational purposes but doesn't change my ultimate goal of hopefully having a functional adult out of my difficult child.</p><p> </p><p>That's what works for me anyway. I know him better than anyone and he doesn't do his "thing" in public. Ultimately even the best psychiatrist won't see the real him like I do so they couldn't possibly understand to make the determination. I try to dislike the behavior, dislike the disorder but do my best to love my difficult child for who he is, warts and all. Isn't easy but if I knew he was JUST a manipulater it would make this all that much harder.</p><p> </p><p>...maybe I feel better off not knowing that answer.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/sad-very.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sad-very:" title="sad-very :sad-very:" data-shortname=":sad-very:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 342192, member: 8617"] I struggled with that question for a long time. What I learned that applies in my situation: It doesn't matter, not really. My difficult child is going to be an adult in a couple short years. Regardless of reason, excuse or situation he has to learn to maintain appropriate behavior in personal and public life. If he cannot do this then he will inevitably end up in adult psychiatric hospital or prison or have failed relationships or worse. My bottom line is that he has to do what he has to do to get moving in life. Any compromise on my part will end with him not being equipped to live in the real world, the world outisde of our home. It may seem harsh but I won't always be here to save him or to be the whipping boy. Some day it may be a wife who leaves him or a boss who fires him. since his behavior is the problem and not me failing as a parent the burden of acting proper is his. It may have made me feel better to know he was just manic and not some twisted game player. In the end I don't think I will ever know. The mania causes behaviors such as manipulation in and of itself. I think it's like trying to figure out what came first the chicken or the egg. nice for informational purposes but doesn't change my ultimate goal of hopefully having a functional adult out of my difficult child. That's what works for me anyway. I know him better than anyone and he doesn't do his "thing" in public. Ultimately even the best psychiatrist won't see the real him like I do so they couldn't possibly understand to make the determination. I try to dislike the behavior, dislike the disorder but do my best to love my difficult child for who he is, warts and all. Isn't easy but if I knew he was JUST a manipulater it would make this all that much harder. ...maybe I feel better off not knowing that answer.:sad-very: [/QUOTE]
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