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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 461451" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Well... J is in bed and I'm feeling somewhat shattered - having cold/flu doesn't help! </p><p>We ran into the children and their mother on the way back from school. I asked if she would come and get them at 8 - no problem. J was much less manic than yesterday but still doing what he does - wanting to climb everywhere, jump off walls, racing round, etc. I would have liked to have been able to leave them to it (not so that I could have "me time" - I've had that all day - but so as not to cramp their style; I grew up playing outside with other kids and without adults so I feel it's a good and learning experience for them. But he is just too excitable with these children and the village, all set into a hillside, is full of high walls, steep precipes, etc. J wanted to make a hut and somehow found some work tools that people had left out at the back of the church, where people don't usually go. He took out all the sharp objects to play with and when I took them from him, he started shouting and crying, and being rude to me... I honestly don't find this way of talking to adults "acceptable" but nothing stops J doing it... the impulsiveness? Consequences and punishment make no difference. I talked to him afterwards about how I do not like it. He calmed down when I found safe household objects they could use to play with and they spent the rest of the time playing reasonably peaceably outside while I sat in attendance... I do now feel it's probably not safe to leave him unsupervised. At 8 their mother came as promised and J accepted their departure with a minimum of fuss, had a quick bath, then supper and is now sound asleep. The hyperactivity I can deal with - though of course it's difficult. The rudeness and defiance when his will is thwarted is much more problematic for me. When he was being abusive towards me tonight, I suddenly saw something that is nothing to do with me or what has happened between us - his biological father? Mother? It wasn't a four year old boy but like a surly, aggressive adult who cannot accept not having his way... then, two minutes later, it's all disappeared again and he is this sweet, innocent little boy asking nicely if he can have some string to play with... And of course I get annoyed with him when he talks like that because it's not okay for him to think it's acceptable. </p><p>Oy vey! I fear this is going to get harder. We have an appointment with the neuro-psychologist tomorrow morning, as it happens...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 461451, member: 11227"] Well... J is in bed and I'm feeling somewhat shattered - having cold/flu doesn't help! We ran into the children and their mother on the way back from school. I asked if she would come and get them at 8 - no problem. J was much less manic than yesterday but still doing what he does - wanting to climb everywhere, jump off walls, racing round, etc. I would have liked to have been able to leave them to it (not so that I could have "me time" - I've had that all day - but so as not to cramp their style; I grew up playing outside with other kids and without adults so I feel it's a good and learning experience for them. But he is just too excitable with these children and the village, all set into a hillside, is full of high walls, steep precipes, etc. J wanted to make a hut and somehow found some work tools that people had left out at the back of the church, where people don't usually go. He took out all the sharp objects to play with and when I took them from him, he started shouting and crying, and being rude to me... I honestly don't find this way of talking to adults "acceptable" but nothing stops J doing it... the impulsiveness? Consequences and punishment make no difference. I talked to him afterwards about how I do not like it. He calmed down when I found safe household objects they could use to play with and they spent the rest of the time playing reasonably peaceably outside while I sat in attendance... I do now feel it's probably not safe to leave him unsupervised. At 8 their mother came as promised and J accepted their departure with a minimum of fuss, had a quick bath, then supper and is now sound asleep. The hyperactivity I can deal with - though of course it's difficult. The rudeness and defiance when his will is thwarted is much more problematic for me. When he was being abusive towards me tonight, I suddenly saw something that is nothing to do with me or what has happened between us - his biological father? Mother? It wasn't a four year old boy but like a surly, aggressive adult who cannot accept not having his way... then, two minutes later, it's all disappeared again and he is this sweet, innocent little boy asking nicely if he can have some string to play with... And of course I get annoyed with him when he talks like that because it's not okay for him to think it's acceptable. Oy vey! I fear this is going to get harder. We have an appointment with the neuro-psychologist tomorrow morning, as it happens... [/QUOTE]
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