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Manipulative son threatens and hounds
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<blockquote data-quote="tishthedish" data-source="post: 617533" data-attributes="member: 17103"><p>Cedar,</p><p>Thanks first for the thoughtful and thorough responses. I have read and reread the advice here and am sure I will continue to do so in the days and weeks ahead. Like a touchstone. </p><p></p><p>Something you said in your first response resonated so much with me. The part about your secret hope that your depression might cause your loved ones to take notice and stop what they were doing to help YOU. That is me. That was me. After a terrible incident in May, I know now that I am on my own as far as gaining strength and helping myself. </p><p></p><p>I was a good daughter, Cedar. A very good girl. I was the youngest in my family who saw what pressures my parents were under and would only bring them good news and good things. I was the one all responsibility fell to. No, I wasn't an angel, but I protected them. My mom especially. I never really expected it of my boys. I have always been extremely sensitive. But this hurricane of pain? Never. Never knew it was possible. All positive emotion flows out from me and all negative flows in. </p><p></p><p>I sometimes wonder if I have had to medicate myself to stand my family. The timeline works. There's only one way to find out and that's to start saying no, or nothing, or not answering the phone, or the door. </p><p></p><p>My husband and I will get through this. He is a gentle, sensitive soul too, and you're right, he is hurting. He feels numb. We have never gotten to the point where we have gotten bitter towards each other but the storm isn't over yet. I want to make the right choices to try to preserve what we have together. He, in turn, must make the right choices too. As far as manipulation, I don't think that comes into play with him. I think it's more that he thinks I am the woman I was before all this started. And as you so eloquently put it nothing is the same. The worst thing that could happen to us has, and I can't take up the family banner and charge the hill. I can't walk up the hill. I can barely stand to look at the hill. I want to take a nap far away from the hill. </p><p></p><p>As for our GS, I informed his lead teacher at school of the situation and will be speaking to the social worker tomorrow to tell her about the status difficult child 2 and BM. Let the chips fall where they may. Our little GS has no voice and I have no obligation to keep secrets that would put him at risk. It's the right thing to do. Even in the midst of this I hold out a small hope that NOW difficult child 2 is serious about recovery. I know differently and will act accordingly. </p><p></p><p>Thank you again for your help. It means more than you could ever know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tishthedish, post: 617533, member: 17103"] Cedar, Thanks first for the thoughtful and thorough responses. I have read and reread the advice here and am sure I will continue to do so in the days and weeks ahead. Like a touchstone. Something you said in your first response resonated so much with me. The part about your secret hope that your depression might cause your loved ones to take notice and stop what they were doing to help YOU. That is me. That was me. After a terrible incident in May, I know now that I am on my own as far as gaining strength and helping myself. I was a good daughter, Cedar. A very good girl. I was the youngest in my family who saw what pressures my parents were under and would only bring them good news and good things. I was the one all responsibility fell to. No, I wasn't an angel, but I protected them. My mom especially. I never really expected it of my boys. I have always been extremely sensitive. But this hurricane of pain? Never. Never knew it was possible. All positive emotion flows out from me and all negative flows in. I sometimes wonder if I have had to medicate myself to stand my family. The timeline works. There's only one way to find out and that's to start saying no, or nothing, or not answering the phone, or the door. My husband and I will get through this. He is a gentle, sensitive soul too, and you're right, he is hurting. He feels numb. We have never gotten to the point where we have gotten bitter towards each other but the storm isn't over yet. I want to make the right choices to try to preserve what we have together. He, in turn, must make the right choices too. As far as manipulation, I don't think that comes into play with him. I think it's more that he thinks I am the woman I was before all this started. And as you so eloquently put it nothing is the same. The worst thing that could happen to us has, and I can't take up the family banner and charge the hill. I can't walk up the hill. I can barely stand to look at the hill. I want to take a nap far away from the hill. As for our GS, I informed his lead teacher at school of the situation and will be speaking to the social worker tomorrow to tell her about the status difficult child 2 and BM. Let the chips fall where they may. Our little GS has no voice and I have no obligation to keep secrets that would put him at risk. It's the right thing to do. Even in the midst of this I hold out a small hope that NOW difficult child 2 is serious about recovery. I know differently and will act accordingly. Thank you again for your help. It means more than you could ever know. [/QUOTE]
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