Man's Search For meaning by Viktor Frankl

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by defiantchild, Oct 18, 2016.

  1. defiantchild

    defiantchild Member

    I am writing this post for Copacabana and New Leaf. This book helped me save my son. Thank you for your guidance and support. Thank you for being there for me in my desperate time of need. My son is a new person because this book gave me the strength to make him take responsibility for his own life. I know there are never any guarantees...and when we let them go we never know what can happen...it's very scary. I want you to know you made a real difference in someones life. Your kindness, your words of wisdom, your personal stories were exactly what I needed. Please know how much I appreciate what you have done for me and my family. xo
     
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  2. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Care to tell your tale?

    We love a success story!
     
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    I may order this book for my son. He told me yesterday that until he has a job or in school his life has no purpose.
    :cry:
     
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    One of my long time favorite books. It's a life changer.
     
  5. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    I wondering if it's too advanced for him. He's smart but not an avid reader. Don't know if he'll "get it".
     
  6. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Defiant, I am so glad to know that things are going well for your son!
    Viktor Frankl I am convinced is one of Gods angels who walked this earth. What a gift for us all.
    Thank you dear, for your kindness and positive update. It is so wonderful to see good news.
    (((Hugs)))
    Leafy
     
  7. defiantchild

    defiantchild Member

     
  8. defiantchild

    defiantchild Member

    HI Leafy! So glad you saw this post. I hope Copa sees it too. I hope you are both doing ok.
    xo
     
  9. defiantchild

    defiantchild Member

    HI AppleCori, living at home with us just wasn't working. Difficult Child wouldn't follow our house rules, did whatever he wanted, thought he knew everything. He was on probation, having been arrested for possession of a felony amount of marijuana (he was dealing and making a lot of money). He also knew that we could not actually throw him out of our house until he turned 18, so he was exploiting that fact. I told him a month before his 18th birthday, "I give up, you win. I can't fight with you anymore. When you turn 18 next month you need to move out on your own. This isn't working for us." I didn't say this as a threat. I meant it. I also didn't say it with anger. I was just telling him the way it had to be for us. I told him my life and happiness matters too.
    We went with him to look for apartments. We wouldn't co-sign, so it took him a while to find one. He finally did and we helped him move out. After 2 months of living on his own he realized that life was so much harder having to support himself. Coming home late at night from work with no food in fridge, no washer and dryer in his home to make doing laundry so much easier, car insurance to pay, gas to buy, bills to pay. On top of this all, he has a girlfriend with a troubled home life who moved in with him. It became his mission in life to take care of and protect her (this became HIS MEANING). As hard as he tried, things kept going wrong, as they do in life...and he realized just how difficult it really is to make ends meet in this world, especially having to make ends meet without breaking the law. He suddenly realized what a privileged life he had. He and his girlfriend begged us to move back home temporarily. We told them the only way it could work is if they agreed to follow our basic house rules or they would be out on their own again. And we told them it would only be a temporary arrangement until they had time to regroup. Well, I am happy to report that we are LOVING having them live at home with us. They follow the rules, they are respectful, they are working....My Difficult Child is 18, his girlfriend is 17. Difficult Child will go to culinary school in the fall of 2017 and his girlfriend will go to college at the same time. I pray that things go well for them. One day at a time.
     
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  10. UpandDown

    UpandDown Active Member

    Defiantchild, your post is very timely for me. I am happy to hear your story. My son will be 18 in the Spring and I am worried sick as to what our next step is. We have many ups and downs with marijuana use, anger and disrespect through the years. He is 100% better than he was, however he has a lot of maturing and growing to do still. We were once expecting him to go to college and perhaps play his sport in college. He was a bright driven kid. We are still struggling with how things went so terribly wrong for him and he stopped trying or caring about school and sports. He does have a part time job and is deeply driven to establishing a business spending hours and hours working on it. Things always have to been on his terms 100%. At this point, he knows that he is allowed to continue to live at home as long as he is focused on graduating high school. I just found out that he is failing English. He is hard headed and thinks he can make a million dollars and all will be well. I have come to the place where I realize I have to let go and allow him to live his life on his terms. I have lost so much time and energy and happiness with my husband and other children due to the stress of having him in our home. I will allow him to do things his way but he has to move out. I can't continue to be cloaked in his moods and ups and downs and bad attitude. We have several more months until that day. I just ordered the Viktor Frankl book you recommended. I am looking forward to finding hope in it. Thank you.
     
  11. defiantchild

    defiantchild Member



    Hi UpandDown, my son dropped out of HS in his junior year. Believe me when I say he's the first one in generations to do that in both my husband's and my family. But school just wasn't working for him. He kept getting in trouble, suspended etc. wouldn't do homework....he found his passion in cooking and became chef's apprentice to a very fine chef at 15. He thought he knew everything. Wouldn't listen to ANYTHING his father and I told him. It wasn't until he had to do things for himself without any enabling did he finally wake up. We make life way too easy for the Difficult Child. Some kids appreciate all we do. But the Difficult Child can't see it. The arrogance is unbelievable. They just don't get it. I wish you the very best of luck, UpandDown.
     
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