Thank you so much. I think he probably just likes to smoke it but I also think he is telling the truth when he thinks it helps him because I found a comment online he made about it - that was before I even knew he smoked it. In fact, that is one of the ways I found out he was doing it. And he mentioned about people not using it to be rebellious but helping depression.
I was reading this post over again and thinking about it and wondering if your son, saying this helps with his depression, really means it just makes him numb (which it did me) so that he just didn't care about being depressed as much. In it's way, pot blunts life like alcohol does and we all know many depressed people drink to forget or to not care about anything.
The really tragic part of how mood disordered people tend to abuse is that there is actually so much good, solid help for depression, such as medications that do not make you feel zombied up and cogntive and dialectal behavioral therapy. They can truly change your life's outlook. I believe they can make you see the world in a much clearer and less extreme way. But they do require hard work, whereas drinking or smoking pot is easy. In the end, you have not changed your coping mechanisms and the blunting of feelings doesn't change anything inside of you other than whatever alcohol and pot may do to you physically.
Struggling with serious depression for as far back as I can remember, even as young as six, it hasa been a wild and crazy ride to get to peace and harmony and a lot more wisdom. I wish difficult children (I never really liked this description of our kids...I prefer our troubled or misguided adult kids) would see that the longterm of working hard while young is more joy in life than they can imagine, plus much better relationships with everyone, including yourself (which is important). I remember when the illness of depression made me hate myself and everyone else. I am so glad that I got into serious therapy early so that I am now able to truly enjoy my adult children and to easily accept who they are rather than fantasies of who I may once have wanted them to be. I can handle my most troubled adult child too and have a relationship with him. Yet I also have lots of time for myself and don't feel guilty about it.
If only...(sigh)
Wishing you luck on your journey. Make the journey about yourself. You can't change your son. Only he can do that. The best you can do is to set up boundaries you feel safe and comfortable with and encourage him to try methods that do not include drugs. It may sink in one day. It did with my daughter. You may not be able to live with him, but you are making the choice his by laying out reasonable expectations and conditions. He can then choose to agree to them or not. If not, you do what you think is best.
Hugs and hoping better times are ahead.
