Marine Corp veteran living in my basement

[GoingNorth]

There is also the fact that a 50 cal will cause a lot more damage than an M-16.

It was the .50 cal. and how and what it was used on that set him up for a lot of the PTSD and guilt that he dealt with.

The term used by the shrink husband saw at the VA for the people he'd killed was "sand n-words", which gives you an idea of how much therapy husband got.

They just couldn't get their heads around a soldier feeling guilty about killing the enemy, even though husband, according to his journals, shot where he was ordered to shoot, and half the time didn't know for certain he was firing at the enemy.

War is effing sick, and some people, like my husband, were too gentle to go to war.

 

[1905]

Twisted, thank you for understanding my brother. I wish I could have helped him. He had many interests and people who loved him. Your boy, has resources available, many, help him find them. And know he can protest if he feels disrespected. Do all you can!!! I never would want another soldiers family to feel as sad as we do. They were all more his family than we were. Please fight for him in any way, call whoever and get help right now. Hugs to you.

 

[InsaneCdn]

I have tremendous guilt as I wished I had pushed therapy when he was younger

Pushing therapy sometimes works - and sometimes backfires majorly. There is no better than a 50/50 chance of therapy having had impact to begin with. This isn't something to beat yourself up over. You did the best you could with what you knew.

I had a difficult husband (his father)

Your son will have biological traits from his dad/your husband. If this man was difficult, then there is a good chance that son will also be difficult. It's not just from being raised around that influence - although that doesn't help. But a major factor is simple genetics.

and refuse to talk about the problem.

Not an uncommon guy problem. And more significantly majorly common in guys with mental health issues.

He is not compassionate or empathetic

You are describing him "now". What was he like at 2 and 6 and 12 and 15? If he's never been "compassionate" or "empathetic", then the problem isn't just the results of what he experienced as a soldier. He may be wired differently. There may be developmental challenges and/or mental health issues at play.

 

[BusynMember]

I had my son in therapy from age 8. It didn't give him more insight or change him.don't beat yourself up Agree that genetics is huge...more so than nurture