marriage counseling monday

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Feb 25, 2011.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi

    so the long awaited marriage counseling session is monday. on difficult child's birthday no less. so ms. thing will have to sit in the hall with-ipod and drawing paper so we can hash it out.

    gotta admit a bit nervous. often sessions like this one will be taxing and tryinig and than we gotta leave and boom difficult child in the face. i'm hoping husband can keep it together after.

    soooo i got it all out in my head what i wanna say you know me. i had my counseling session today via phone with therapist i'm still working with from portland. she's great.

    she unfortunately sees my point with alot of my husband issues she also sees my point that if resolution cannot be found or compromises this marriage may have to just have to end in time.

    her exact words to me were it's amazing you are coping thru it all and husband adding additional pressure doesnt' help. she said sooo confusing he's such a good guy in some very strong areas yet really drops the ball in others horribly. she said i can see your confusion.

    luckily we had a good two days off with-kids. we did movies, pizza out a play with them local my step daughter. yet the other junk is still going on.

    god forbid sorry god's name in vain :) i say i want to sleep one night. that was the other night when i didnt' feel good and as per usual he threw his mini tantrum on me about what he wanted and how unfair it was that i was sick and tired. WOW.

    so we shall see what comes of it. we have a big day that day too my wonderful parents are coming out for difficult child's birthday we'll have his kids too. should prove interesting. :)

    i think we have to be checked prior to entering therapy for any sharp objects lol. they should have a metal detector :)
     
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    From someone that's been there? Don't try to drag it all out during one session. Cause trust me, if you all hit each other with everything up front, no WAY will you be able to keep it together for difficult child. (Much less yourselves!)

    Honestly, the first visit will be a lot of tap-dancing around each other anyway. BUT - you will each be able to see if the other is serious. Honestly when husband and I were going, I got the impression he wasn't interested, it was all about him. But - it changed in time. The first visit is a getting-to-know-the-situation for the counselor. Don't expect it to be fixed immediately!!!

    That said... Pretzeling up for you. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
     
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Good luck. I agree, don't hit him with everything at once, pick one or two main things to start with, such as "I have many concerns, but right now *this* and *this* could make things easier/need immediate work/are the most stressful to me/etc."
     
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i agree luckily this is the same guy we went to before we got married. so he's up to speed knows the issues etc we shall see. :)
     
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Our therapist said -

    (Here is a piece of paper) -----hands both a piece of paper....

    Write on it twenty random
    things you think each of you need to work on to bring order back into your lives

    Now out of those twenty - pick your top ten.....

    Now out of those ten - pick your top five -

    Now out of those top five - pick three

    THAT is what we work on this week....

    That wasn't easy either - (but my list wasn't with DF - it was with Dude) - same principals applied to his couples therapy.

    Maybe you can do the same thing BEFORE you get in there - make a list, and do the same - get your top three - have a game plan.

    I'm proud of you!

    Out of
     
  6. Good luck, lady. I hope you both get a lot out of it.

    You get out what you put in, which is why I gave up on this sort of thing with my spouse unit. He wouldn't follow up on "assignments" etc. Wanted something to change but didn't want to do any changing himself. Life doesn't really work that way (as you've probably noticed), so I've found my ways of dealing with everything that comes up. I hope that you two are able to identify the main issues and work on them (and yourselves) and that you find peace. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
     
  7. Jena

    Jena New Member

    star i had the same idea. great approach. yet husband right now is all over the board. i just posted about him. im really losing my patience with-him.
     
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