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The Watercooler
marriage counselor said..
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 416227" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>I wondered about that, too...</p><p> </p><p>In any marriage - the issue is not who is "right" and who is "wrong"...it's learning to see the relationship from the other's point of view and making sure that YOU are doing everything YOU can to be a loving, supportive partner. Some people call that "work" or "making your marriage work"....but I don't think that's how it should be viewed...</p><p> </p><p>I love my husband. I want to make sure that I am giving him what he needs....in all categories - friend, lover, sounding board, confidant...</p><p> </p><p>and if I can't fill a certain role? Say he needs a "camping buddy" - well, I don't camp....so I make sure that that's something he gets to do with other people without me giving him a lot of flak...</p><p> </p><p>And the same goes in reverse. husband tries to be everything that I need....but if he can't fill a certain role? He lets me spend time with my friends without complaint... Friends are great at filling the roles that our spouses cannot play. Camping Buddy. Mall Pals. Fishing Buddy. Girls to gab with. etc</p><p> </p><p>Problems arise when spouses feel they have to go outside the relationship to fill the important roles "Friend", "Lover", "Confidant"...</p><p> </p><p>And even then, it's not about right and wrong...</p><p> </p><p>It's about finding ways to be more available to one another.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck, Jena! Let us know how it goes...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 416227, member: 6546"] I wondered about that, too... In any marriage - the issue is not who is "right" and who is "wrong"...it's learning to see the relationship from the other's point of view and making sure that YOU are doing everything YOU can to be a loving, supportive partner. Some people call that "work" or "making your marriage work"....but I don't think that's how it should be viewed... I love my husband. I want to make sure that I am giving him what he needs....in all categories - friend, lover, sounding board, confidant... and if I can't fill a certain role? Say he needs a "camping buddy" - well, I don't camp....so I make sure that that's something he gets to do with other people without me giving him a lot of flak... And the same goes in reverse. husband tries to be everything that I need....but if he can't fill a certain role? He lets me spend time with my friends without complaint... Friends are great at filling the roles that our spouses cannot play. Camping Buddy. Mall Pals. Fishing Buddy. Girls to gab with. etc Problems arise when spouses feel they have to go outside the relationship to fill the important roles "Friend", "Lover", "Confidant"... And even then, it's not about right and wrong... It's about finding ways to be more available to one another. Good luck, Jena! Let us know how it goes... [/QUOTE]
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