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Marriage stressed/failing/failed........PARENTING
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 55922" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>Listen, marriages are hard. Add the component of kids with troubles and marriages live or die. I think I remember one of your first posts when you described how your husband announced that he didn't think he was cut out for the parenting thing. He sounds about as self-absorbed as he can get.</p><p></p><p>Bottom line: you've been a single parent in a 2 adult household. Which do you think does more damage:</p><p></p><p>1. a father that divorces his family, steps out of the picture and basically rejects his responsibilities</p><p></p><p>or</p><p></p><p>2. a father that divorces his family, steps out of the picture and basically rejects his responsibilities but lives in the house and is a constant daily reminder that he's neglecting his wife, children and adult duties?</p><p></p><p>Frankly, been there done that. I decided that I'd had enough, announced my expectations, and DEMANDED a change. I was set in stone that things were going to change with or without the 2 of us together. He changed (and is making changes every day) and we're in a better place than we were. But believe me: I had all of my backbone ready to go it alone. </p><p></p><p>BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY DECISIONS:</p><p></p><p>Speak to your doctor about medication for depression. You sound like you've been carrying this burden for toooooo lonnnnng. Check and see if you may be clinically depressed. </p><p></p><p>Check in your community to see what type of resources there are to help you. Check for government programs that will be able to assist with legal issues, food programs, respite services, mental health support and even Big Brother/Sister organizations that can help with you and the kids. Look into Web Based training that will help you get job skills that will render you more marketable for higher paying jobs. You've put up with his crap long enough. Use your time wisely. Once you have your "ducks in a row" and you're ready to draw your line THEN you take action. </p><p></p><p>MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS IN A REACTIVE MODE...MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE CALLING THE SHOTS ON YOUR TIME LINE!!! </p><p></p><p>Keep us posted!</p><p>Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 55922, member: 3814"] Listen, marriages are hard. Add the component of kids with troubles and marriages live or die. I think I remember one of your first posts when you described how your husband announced that he didn't think he was cut out for the parenting thing. He sounds about as self-absorbed as he can get. Bottom line: you've been a single parent in a 2 adult household. Which do you think does more damage: 1. a father that divorces his family, steps out of the picture and basically rejects his responsibilities or 2. a father that divorces his family, steps out of the picture and basically rejects his responsibilities but lives in the house and is a constant daily reminder that he's neglecting his wife, children and adult duties? Frankly, been there done that. I decided that I'd had enough, announced my expectations, and DEMANDED a change. I was set in stone that things were going to change with or without the 2 of us together. He changed (and is making changes every day) and we're in a better place than we were. But believe me: I had all of my backbone ready to go it alone. BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY DECISIONS: Speak to your doctor about medication for depression. You sound like you've been carrying this burden for toooooo lonnnnng. Check and see if you may be clinically depressed. Check in your community to see what type of resources there are to help you. Check for government programs that will be able to assist with legal issues, food programs, respite services, mental health support and even Big Brother/Sister organizations that can help with you and the kids. Look into Web Based training that will help you get job skills that will render you more marketable for higher paying jobs. You've put up with his crap long enough. Use your time wisely. Once you have your "ducks in a row" and you're ready to draw your line THEN you take action. MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS IN A REACTIVE MODE...MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE CALLING THE SHOTS ON YOUR TIME LINE!!! Keep us posted! Beth [/QUOTE]
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