Masturbating in his room (icky, I know)

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by MidwestMom, Apr 8, 2007.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ok, so my son is now almost 14 and lately, when we knock on the door, he yells, "WAIT! I'm changing my clothes!" Being a woman, I never thought anything of it. My hub told me he thinks Lucas is masturbating (he used a different terminology...lol). Is this how it usually is? I had two other boys, but they weren't on the Spectrum, and they never "changed my clothes" as often as him. I'm not alarmed, but curious about others with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids. Does this sound right? Yes, I'm glad he doesn't do it in public...lol.

    by the way, Happy Easer!!!!
     
  2. realangel

    realangel New Member

    difficult child "changes his clothes" a lot!! I have found evidence to back this up and i was shocked!! He started at about 13 and he's 16 now... all i could do was to remind him to tidy up after himself.
     
  3. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Yep my difficult child was very much into "changing his clothes". Unfortunately he also became quite permiscuous around age 15 sneaking out at night to have sex with an 18 year old girl down the block who was diagnosis's Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Unfortunately it is next to impossibe to stop these kids from having sex. Teaching them appropriate place and how to protect themselves from disease is about all a parent can do.

    A few years ago i applied for a teaching position in a school for Autistic children. The school was undergoing renovations and I was appalled to see a girl in the toddler program lying on a mat (fully clothed) doing this. I inquired about it and was told that all they did was teach them an "appropriate place" and that unfortunately that place was in the construction zone. -RM
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    LOL, thanks! I just needed to know other kids did this. I don't think son will be promiscuous. He may be when he's older, but so far he's such a loner I can't imagine him even dating.
     
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    As I mentioned in an earlier thread, difficult child 3 has discovered the joys of 'nocturnal emissions'. Luckily husband had already had a talk to him, he explained that it's normal for this to happen and that when it does he has to get out of bed, clean himself up, have a wash and maybe put some powder on (to avoid chafing from moisture, which includes perspiration) and put any soiled underwear and anything else in the wash.

    I keep having to remind difficult child 3 to keep his hands out of his trousers and underwear, he still tends to 'self grope' when anxious, which is most of the time. He's simply not as self-conscious of this sort of thing. Most boys his age would be mortified at being seen 'in a state of physical arousal', shall we say (trying to beat the site censor here) but difficult child 3 simply doesn't seem to notice.

    Boys will be boys. They do masturbate. I think we've come a long way from my mother's day. She believed it led to mental aberration. I think she believed this because during WWII this is what they told our soldiers in the army, and when he got back from the war, this is what my father told my mother, and she passed it on to us. I suspect my brothers totally ignored her. But to tell something like that to soldiers during the war - I mean, what were they supposed to do, away from the women in their lives? Pretend that it had been cut off? I think some army doctors in WWII were very sick individuals.

    I wouldn't worry too much if he's masturbating in his room. At least it's in his room and not somewhere more public. But I would teach him (or get husband to) about healthy personal hygiene in that area which includes cleaning up afterwards thoughtfully and properly. And to also not do it so much that he does himself harm.

    A bloke at work told me the following joke:

    "The problem with sex," he said, "is that if you do it with someone of the opposite sex you can get VD, if you do it with the same sex you can get AIDS and if you do it by yourself you can get RSI."
    An alphabet soup of health hazards!

    Marg
     
  6. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'>I'm pretty sure this is normal, healthy behavior that with spectrum kids has to be directed to appropriate place. Fortunately, I can say,as difficult child got older, I know nothing more of this private endeavor. difficult child is appropriate and private.
    At one time(14 or 15) I asked what was taking so long, difficult child told me in medically correct terms. I almost dropped my jaw on the floor and I don't shock too easily. I told him that some things are private and not to be shared with his mother unless there was a problem. I also stopped asking what was taking so long. We have had frank discussions about sexually appropriate behavior both alone and with a mate. All of this was a progressive conversation over the years.
    It's always a bit of a shock to think of our kids as little boys with delays in every area but this one. It's just basic instinct that really can't be denied. </span>
     
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    husband described wet dreams to difficult child 3 as pressure that builds up until it gets released. I suspect difficult child 3 is going to be doing some personal experimentation very soon, if he hasn't already. I'm just counting on his natural tidiness to keep things well - tidy.

    difficult child 1, on the other hand, has always been very private about this. But he did have a few soft-porn mags in his school bag when he was 16. His deputy principal was trying her best to get me to be angry with difficult child 1, and made a point of showing me what she'd found in his bag. So I made a point of analysing them, trying to work out which magazine they could have come from and pointing out to her that these were hardly illegal, they were little more than air-brushed topless shots, the sort often found in any magazine available for sale to anybody regardless of age. As I said before, boys will be boys. It's about as typical as finding fashion mags or gossip mags in a girl's schoolbag.

    Marg
     
  8. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    MWM,

    Actually, statistics show that the average teenage boy mastubates twice a day! So no, I don't consider it unusual at all.

    Sharon
     
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LDM...I always knew Cory would be above average at something...lol.
     
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    LOL! Thanks all. I don't know why I'm laughing. I guess I thought of my son as sort of asexual. He still covers his eyes when he sees two people kissing on television! In some ways he is 14 and in some ways he is years younger. This is the first year he asked,"How are babies made?" and he just blushed and said, "Gross"when I told him (I told him before, and I'm sure he also learned in school). It shocked me that he had to ask...lol. I guess hub will get the wonderful task of telling him to clean up...lol.
     
  11. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Janet, you crack me up!!!!
     
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    :rofl: Janet

    Perfectly normal stuff. At least he attempts to "cover it up". T didn't even think to close his door at first. lol So we had to have a talk about things being appropriate only behind closed, and preferrably locked, doors.

    Now if my mother had discovered her sons or grandsons..... OMG! The world would have ended. lmao :faint:
     
  13. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Hey- no better love than self-love, right? LOL


    I totally APPLAUD all of you moms for being so wonderful, educational, and tactful with your children and not putting any shame on your children for self pleasuring. I teach sexual education for a living and the scores of adults I encounter whose parents impressed such shame on them growing up about their bodies is so sad. You're all doing your children such a wonderful service. Great job!
     
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